Suckling Pig

The Game

2009-01-11T19:42:00.004+09:00

The game has changed
with the same players still in.
And so the players must change in accordance to the game.

This blog has ended.
The game continues on.

2008-11-24T00:28:00.001+09:00

I'm still working on my ultimate goal.
I just don't know how to reach it.
How can I get a solid foundation of experience and education
with the conditions that I am limited to due to my current situation?
How can I improve the life of senior citizens?
How can I become part of the forefront in the end of life treatment movement?
how can I become a bioethicist;consultant; advocate for ones near the end of their life?
How can I assist in the realization of a safe, nearly unexploitable process for euthanasia?

My goals must be realized.
I really just don't know how.
But i'll try, i'll try.

2008-10-05T00:48:00.001+09:00

Sorry, busy with travelling, errands, adventures, my brother's short visit, a possible move and oh...right, work.

I will report with pictures soon once everything settles.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

2008-08-21T23:32:00.002+09:00

We took some big steps a year ago,
and look at us now.
Accomplishing so many things and achieving the many goals we've set for ourselves.
And I know there's no one better than you that I could have shared these experiences with.
Here's to another year!

Also, about 75% complete. It's looking awesome.
Still no regrets.
And still feeling good about it.

Here's a song by Big Bang called "Haru Haru" a translation is "Day by Day"
I fell in love with the song the first time i heard it.

Yeah, what can I say, i'm delving more into the Korean Music scene and falling out of the North American music..
something about not having access to it and all...
if only my friends could send me some good music *hint**hint* XP.

So, this Saturday, I'll be going to visit North Korea...yup, if I don't return, find a hot blonde chick and use her as part of your negotiations to get me back from the grasps of Kim Jong Il...cuz the man is so rone-ry.

I'm getting slightly sad that Shella, my wonderful Hoj, will be leaving me soon.
Next Sunday *sigh* that really sucks, but I swear, I WILL visit her at Australia *nods*
i SHALL go to Australia sooner or later.

Speaking of going to another country, in a few weeks i'll be in Malaysia..
soaking in that sweet Malaysian island sun, waters, culture, and most importantly, FOOD!
yeeeeeeee
What can I say! My kryptonite!

I'm just so glad that i've chosen this route,
instead of dying out in the land of academia..
I was so burnt out that I just could not form a decent sentence anymore.
Despite having to be surrounded by broken English or another foreign language,
my English has not disappeared as much as if I had gone through more schooling.
And what do I have now?
A passport that's been accumulating stamps from other different countries;
a puppy that is currently trying to pry one of my bras away from me;
a freezer-filled with discount ice cream;
a savings account somewhat filled with money;
an accumulation of memories and experiences;
a slowly growing wardrobe;
and so on and so forth.

I'm feeling more confident about myself and my abilities
as I continue to survive on my own, as well as being in a foreign country where I basically understand nothing around me.
I'm loving this whole exploring and experimenting thing,
and I really hope I can continue on for awhile.
And if certain situations occur, I may not be going home for an extra few months,
as I hang around Singapore for awhile,
keeping company with my wife..
although...i'm not quite sure what I would do with the sophster if that were to occur.
*meh* that's a year away.
Not as far as FC's wedding cruise that will be happening soon.
*woot* florida, here i come!!
and to see Fatman, Geek, and the whole bunch... so excited!

aites, another entry, another round.

Re: Underage Chinese Gymnasts

2008-08-19T23:10:00.003+09:00

I'm not saying that China did cheat by using underaged gymnasts for the Olympics
nor am i disagreeing with the claims.
However, I would like to take note that while I was growing up
(being fully Chinese and all) I always looked younger than I was.

My height, weight, and physical maturity was definitely delayed for quite some time.
I don't think i got boobs until i was 15..and my height was definitely not trying to be stunted by my family and doctors,
rather quite the opposite, with all the junk i had to take and do. (I am 5"3...my tallest ever at the moment..sad sad days)
In regards to the small teeth....I have small teeth!
I have compared my teeth to the children that are losing theirs around me..and it's nearly the same size as my ADULT teeth!
....with the exception of my only 2 normal sized teeth...my two front teeth *sigh*

Sure, seeing Chinese girls next to Americans definitely would make one suspicious...
but seriously, if you put me beside an "American" girl who was of the same age as me (or even one who was significantly younger than me),
she'd tower over me too...
boobs..ass...height and all.
Hell, even last year, when I was studying for my finals..for my LAST YEAR in university..coming from the last OACs (meaning: I was 22 going on 23),
I was mistaken as a highschool student by a multiple of highschool teachers and highschool students.
They forced me into their group that was touring my campus and the only way I could get out of their grasps
was to argue and show 2 pieces of my ID that proved that I was a student of the university and my age.

In addition to the claimed physical evidence of how the Chinese gymnasts are underaged,
there are the claims of their multiple birth dates that are published on news sources and websites.
Cuz clearly, news sources and websites are reliable........
.......................
..............
.......
...
sarcasm? of course.
As a person who has competed in a few sports that do publish one's profiles online and on paper..
and a person who has been interviewed and been profiled by a multiple of news sources..
I am a multiple of ages, genders, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and names(?!)
I must admit that these sources are not prone to being reliable sources for information.

But this is simply from my personal experience.
And it definitely does not mean that I believe that the Chinese gymnasts are not underage..
but while reading the articles and "evidence" of said issue,
alarm bells were just ringing in my head.

Either way, I'm sure there are some valid reasons,
especially since China did kick America and those other countries' arses in gymnastics..
but i'm not too sure I would really want to prove that they are underage..
to think my arse got kicked by young'uns
and sure, they'd be more flexible...
but they definitely would not be mentally mature enough to handle the pressure an Olympian must be in;
and the training that any athlete must go through.
Yet again, there are pros and cons for a young vs. mature athlete.
And I think in the end, it gives a mature, experience-filled athlete a tad more weight than an immature young athlete.

But yet again, we may never know the truth due to our skepticism towards the legitimacy of the inner workings of China

awkward

2008-08-13T00:37:00.003+09:00

the hoj while wrapping me in saran wrap (for health reasons):
"you know..i can see how people can sexualize saran wrap"

me: "...........let's just hurry this up here....."

I apologize for the delayed update.
It has been busy over here with vacation and so forth.
I went to Nagoya, Japan..and it was...okay.
If anyone wants to go to Japan, I believe Osaka and/or Tokyo would be the place to be if you're on a budget.
Also, those places gives you more options to see a bunch of things within a time limit..
because public transportation is damn expensive.
And well..Japan's pretty expensive (but of course it's magnified even more if you come straight from Korea).
After, I went to Jeju Island, S.Korea.
It was okay as well. The main stuff were at Jeju-si,
while i was at the other end of the island, Segwipo.
So if anyone's going to Jeju, Jeju-si will be the place to go and stay.
Pay the extra money to stay at Jeju-si, cuz in the end, it'll save you money on travelling around the island.
In addition, Lauren and I were recommended to an awesome Indian restaurant.
When we got there, it was really busy, so we sat at the bar.
The girl beside us was eating and we inquired about the food.
We found out she's a regular customer and she recommended us the butter masala.
So we ordered that.
When we finally got our table and ate our delicious food,
I saw the girl stand up and I waved and thanked her for the excellent recommendation.
She replied by recommending us the milk tea...and dyamn
she was right again!
The milk tea was excellent, with a hint of ginger, cinnamon and another.

We also stumbled onto this awesome place where we got to dye clothes with ripe persimmons.
We got lost while trying to go there so we called her up.
She graciously picked us up from an intersection.
Her English was amazing and we found out that she used to live in New York.
She studied and graduated from Parsons Design School (the place where they film Project Runway!)
it was really cool.
She gave us a discount because we travelled so far to get to her place.
Her place was a school that was converted into a house and workplace for her designs and factory for making her persimmon dyed products.
She also taught us how to make an old school asian button out of simply tying knots on a string.
It took me alotta tries, but I eventually got it...while...surprise, surprise, Lauren, the art major, got it on her first try.
When we were about the leave, she inquired where we were going and we said that we were planning to go into Jeju-si to find some paper making place.
She had no idea where that was but said that she would soon be making errands into the city and that she'd drop us off.
She was so concerned about us that she drove us to the main tourist information place and asked for us information as to where we wanted to go.
She eventually left us once we found our destination and ride.
We also promised we'd visit her once she visits Seoul for one of her numerous exhibitions.
Man..I love it when I stumble onto great people while i'm just aimlessly going about.

My next trip shall be Jakarta, Malaysia...oooo...
although, I am slightly getting tired of asian countries, but maybe it's because I've been travelling to many places that are about the same as Seoul Korea.
So Malaysia will probably be a change of pace.

As for my present life,
When i returned to work, Shella and Double D surprised me by getting me a b-day present.
Shella got me some cool gift certificates for movie theatres and restaurants...
while double D got me an Olympics keychain of one of my favourite characters from her China trip.
I was so happy! and double D also treated me to a hot date at an indian restaurant on a Sunday.
She's so sweet :) I'm so glad she's here.
I also received numerous b-day cards and letters from friends in Canada and from other countries.
That was a great day.

As for this past weekend, I finally got what i've wanted for a long time this past saturday.
L went along with me just to make sure i'd be okay. It took about 3 hours to complete the 1st half of the session.
Melissa B dropped by and was entertained by me during the most of the session.
It was really nice of her to stick around and to visit.
She's a really cool gal. I'm very glad i met her.
But this friday, everything shall be finished.
I can't believe i did it and i have no regrets.
It's turned out better than i've expected it.
I'm pretty aware that it will make things a little harder on me and that i'll probably be judged straight off due to the explicitness of what i've done but "meh" it's not like it's something I haven't had to face before...sadly.

uhh...as for anything else, i...don't...know....
besides being a lazy arse on posting....
uhh...hoj is leaving soon.
she'll be leaving at the end of the month.
I'm going to be so sad.... :(
but i can understand why she's leaving soon.

If my readers feel any better...i talk less to my family than i post here.
Yeah, i'm a bad person, I know.
I can't help it.
I have a tendency to drift,
but the people who know me know that i'll always come back after i get everything out of my system.

Alright, I will attempt to write a better post next time.
and within a reasonable time.

bon soir

me, myself, and my wallet...cry

2008-07-12T20:25:00.004+09:00

today, i've just finalized and fully paid my plane tickets to a multiple of destinations.
So..within 3 months, i'll be travelling to 3 destinations, not including my november trip to Fred's wedding in Florida.
i will now avoid my bank account statement...

i don't think, in my wildest dreams, i could be travelling so much during this time in my life.
I mean...less than a year ago, i was living in utter poverty..
having travelled nowhere out of north america that's within a day or two driving's distance.
I envied the individuals who were able to even afford flying to vancouver or down to south america.

But now, within these past few months and upcoming months, i would have touched into more countries i've ever gone to than the number of countries i've gone to for my past....23 years?

It's just unbelievable and i'm extremely grateful for having this opportunity to do the travels i've been thirsting to do for the most of my life.

Within 3 months, i shall be visiting Japan, Jeju Island (a S.Korean Tropical Island), and Malaysia.
The destination after Malaysia and Fred's wedding, I think, might be Vietnam..cambodia..mangolia...bali... i don't know, I haven't decided yet....
and i LOVE it! THIS is the type of indecision i absolutely love!

These past few days, i've also realized that my birthday is coming up.
It also took me a few minutes to realize that i was not turning 22...but rather, 24.
Where shall i be during my birthday?
In Japan.
Yup, i plan on finding some serene area in Japan and to..well...
be in awe of what has happened to me this past year and to feel excited for the upcoming year.
yeah, boring for you..i get it XP
i really don't feel anything special during my birthday.
It's just like any other day.
I just like to spend that day either mulling over another wasted year and what is to come or to just reflect what i'm supposed to do with my life....
and...i'm going to be f***ing 24!!
i don't even FEEL like i'm 21!
it's absolutely insane.

Lastly, tomorrow, i'll be joining the SLP food club (my bosses, Elisa, Evelyn, D.b., and i) on a trip to one of the best beef places in Seoul/Korea.
I'm stoked!
Elisa and I were complaining on Friday about how this week should be done with and how we need some friggin' beef in us pronto.

A lot of things will be happening in these upcoming months
and i'm absolutely exhilarated, i *just* can't wait!
And i haven't felt such exhilaration and excitement for....
well....since i was 7, when my family still went on fishing and skiing trips.
(i was such a little geek...i would sleep with all my clothes on so once the time arrived, i'd just run straight to the car)

Thank you for understanding that this is what I need to do
and not a 'want'

tough love

2008-07-08T02:14:00.004+09:00

things are failing you now.
what you've become is total, utter shit.
It's really sad.
Before, I saw so much potential in you;
you could have done such amazing things;
risen to great heights...
and what have you done?
you've wasted it and ruined something that could have been so beautiful and satisfying b/c you just had to dive too much into hedonism.
You're pathetic
All now that i can do is watch from afar and shake my head.
Before, I used to feel that i was responsible for your failings,
but then i realized, i could only do so much.
I can only nudge you to which path you should have gone,
i'm not the one who actually chooses and walks down it.
It wouldn't have worked if i dragged your ass down the path you should have gone
b/c it would have benefited none.
Besides, I am not you, I am not your parent (even though a parent shouldn't have such a responsibility as well)

You're an utter waste.
Until you realize and change your ways,
you will be one of the most pathetic individuals i have ever met;
to have had so much and thrown it away due to your own damn ignorance and pessimism of yourself.

Congratulations on being your own saboteur,
now start becoming your own savior
instead of waiting for someone or something that will never come.
Help only comes to a person who helps themselves.

Hurtful? good.
Deal with it by getting yourself out of your self-made crap hole
and finally become that person you were suppose to be YEARS ago.

mission

2008-07-06T16:25:00.003+09:00

currently i'm in a starbucks at jong gak.
I've intentionally lugged over my laptop here just to at least make a quality post...
and to later read.

These past few weeks have been interesting,
for the better and the other thing.

On Friday, it was Evelyn's birthday, so after work, we went to VIPS (a spiffy all you can eat place near work and my place).
I splurged (actually, these past weeks i've been splurging...despite the cries of my bank account) on a whole rack of ribs.
maan...was it good!
We had fun talking and joking around,
and it was my first time actually interacting with Evelyn outside of the school/workplace.
We all went home with our guts a hanging and sooner or later, our toilets a clogging.

Saturday (yesterday) we, Me, Lauren, and Hoj, met up with Melissa and she gave us access to the army base at Yongsan.
I dragged hoj with me to get a back massage, while Melissa and Lauren got their pedicures and facials.
Hoj got a haircut too, which kinda resembles my new do.
As for the back massage, it was good and brutal at the same time.
The first thing the lady did on me was to stand on my hips and then step on certain parts of my spine...
and then knowing my neck and upper back is extremely tensed, she put extreme pressure on those points...
as i muffled my screams of pain.
Hoj, on the other hand, muffled nothing.
Lately, she's been having a lot of back problems and I thought perhaps this might assist her...
even with a little touch on her back by the lady, she yelled in agony.
The lady informed me that not only was hoj's back all tensed up..but her arms, and legs as well.
Not good..not good at all. Although, Hoj has been and is going through an extremely stressful time and has been supposedly sleeping on a broken mattress.
*aie*

Anyways, back to the day, my back massage and face waxing only cost me 24 bucks...
awesome.
After our little pampering, we went to a pretty fancy restaurant on the base, called Dragon Hill.
While Melissa, Hoj, and Lauren went for the lunch buffet, i opted for the special of 2 maine lobsters for 49 dollars.
I couldn't help it. I haven't eaten lobsters for the longest of times, AND it was MAINE lobster.. it was soooo delicious and i ate 2 somewhat largish lobsters all by myself, we later ordered creme brulee that had way too much creme in it although it was an extremely generous portion.
I ate only half of that and yes, I do realize how gluttonous I am.
I'm trying to do a little detoxing today and this coming week...
to compensate for my piggish ways these past few days.

After our lunch, in which all of us pried ourselves off of our comfy seats and waddled our way out of the restaurant and base,
we made our way to the Korean National Museum.
We all got into a taxi and told our taxi driver (who was a woman! my first time ever) to go to the Korean National Museum...
she did not understand...and started to make her way to Itaewon (An area known for foreigners) So we tried calling the "free interpreter" number, and the lady did not understand me (what?!) and hanged up on me.
So in the end, i called up Sarah (one of my korean co-workers and friends) to interpret it for us.
Sarah had no idea what we were talking about and with much discussion, she deducted that the strict translation for "Korean National Museum" does not exist and therefore, the museum we wanted to go to must have been called something else in Korean.
She figured that it was a museum called Seoul..something something in Korean..that I don't remember. Either way, i gave the phone to the lady taxi driver and she drove us to the place.
The entrance fee was...FREE!! yay!
and the museum was absolutely magnificent, large, and beautiful.
However, i must say that the organization and the use of space was...something to be desired (where's an interior designer when you need one?! ;) )
From the post before, you should have seen a few pictures of my little trip.
It was mostly good fun. I bought a few knick knacks for my family to send back home.
one of'em is this really cool..plastic bag thing that's in the shape of a vase.
It's really neat and practical to put in flowers,
which i'm sure my parents will thing is pretty nifty too.

Near the end of our museum trip..it kinda got a little dramatic between Melissa and Lauren b/c they had a tad of a ....disagreement.
And in the end, Lauren and the Hoj left on their own.
However, Melissa and I had some fun before we realized the exit of the other two..
including a running joke of us repeating in an overly dramatic voice:
"the power of the turtle dragon!!"
we were making ourselves look like total fools...and really didn't care as we
keeled over laughing from our stupidity.
But now we have mad respect over the...POWER OF THE TURTLE DRAGON!
We eventually left and went back home.
I immediately collapsed into my bed and slept until 10 something.

Today, I was suppose to go to LotteWorld with L and her friend, Greg,
but i was way too sleepy to wake up any earlier than 1pm..
and i needed to buy myself a wallet from the same store i bought my old one (that in the end, i found out they no longer sold my old wallet..so i had to buy a different one)
had lunch and now..chillin' at starbucks.

These next few weeks and months shall be financially...draining, but absolutely fun.
With my summer vacation coming up, going to Japan, Jeju, finishing up my SCUBA open water certification; after my summer vacation, there's the OLYMPICS...that i'll be watching from the TV :*( well, at least there's no time delay..being that i'm close to Beijing (bittersweet..so close yet so far); i'll be getting my artwork done; then a few weeks later, Chuseok! where i'll hopefully be visiting Bali or Vietnam..and then immediately after...one of the best things will happen...MY BROTHER WILL BE COMING TO KOREA!! yay!!!
stoked? just a tad.

Alright, i'm gonna end this entry...this has been taking me far too long
and i'm chatting with E at the moment,
her grandma has passed away and E's overseas..*Sigh*
i'm just glad i was there when my grandpa passed away..
or else i'd be in worse condition than i already am.

06091915-010706
love you

the POWER OF THE TURTLE DRAGON!!!!

Trip to the Korean National Museum

2008-07-05T23:56:00.003+09:00

Pictures of my trip with blog coming eventually

password is: immaho

Chivalry...you do not have, Korea

2008-07-04T12:26:00.002+09:00

here I am, w/o an umbrella...it begins to rain heavily
I'm obviously lost and now i'm getting all wet from the rain..
and i'm waiting at an incredibly long stop light.
A man with an extremely large umbrella walks beside me,
looks at me, stares infront..
and takes two steps AWAY from me.
thanks arsehole, thanks a lot.

Happy Pride and Canada Week/Day

2008-06-30T23:05:00.003+09:00

this really sucks, I've been bothering L with my groans of missing out on Pride week.
I've been reading up on the events and been watching the newsbits about it.
What. the. hell!
i miss out on, so far, Pride's biggest parade?!
and did the rainbow flag get longer?!
WHAT THE HELL!!?!?!
why does everything change for the better when i'm gone!
i swear there's some conspiracy!
I do really miss it,
but after talking to Anna,
there are some things that i don't miss...
the weeks of preparation for the event with whatever organization i would be involved in...
the drama that occurs when some event as large as this happens...
the restlessness and anxiety for last minute prep,
the exhaustion from marching and high emotions...

*ah* the pros and cons.

Anyways, this past weekend, i cleaned up my entire apartment.
damn mold in the bathroom!
i bought a mask, rubber gloves, scrubbers and de-molders...
a party indeed.
On the sunday, I went back to Hongdae to check up on my art work...
i was a tad hesitant...but i'm going to have to trust the artist about this.
So that means...August 9th, 2008, at 2pm, I will be getting my b-day present.
Yes, I have preplanned my birthday present in advance...and it'll cost me $300.
most.expensive.present. i've ever purchased.
but it'll be worth it (hopefully)
no regrets...no regrets.
Unfortunately, Melissa B was too busy to meet up with me, but it was ok.
The hoj and L came along with me.
After my little meeting with the artist, we stumbled onto a nice little French cafe.
It was awesome. Hoj got a delicious ham and cheese quiche...
I ordered a ham, bacon, cheese galette (also delicious) with a side of roasted potatoes (so very heavenly) and Lauren ordered a delicious mixed berries crepe.
So delicious.
After, we pampered ourselves by stumbling into a chocolatier.
Though the chocolate was expensive, it was absolutely delicious.
I got myself a moist, chocolate brownie..mmm.....
Later on, we wandered around hongdae and the artist's alley,
hoj bought a few ballet pumps (which I too am contemplating on purchasing b/c they're cute and comfortable, on my next trip there)
and I was looking for a specific type of pants...but failed :*(.
After a few hours, we were exhausted from the entire trip.
Right before I entered the subway, Juhan called me up to meet up with me.
Unfortunately, i just couldn't stay any longer b/c i was far too tired...
that i couldn't even go to Insadong to purchase a replacement wallet.

I'm anxious about my bday gift,
I'll be losing a large chunk of money this month and early next month
*aie* a tear falls from my eye as I assess the amount of money i'll be spending within these next two months...
on my final certification for SCUBA,
my summer vacation trip,
my present,
and so on and so forth.
*sniff*

On a lighter note, I plan on celebrating Canada Day, despite being in an entirely different country.
I'll be wearing the ol' red and white and telling my kids about Canada Day.
I miss Canada in a way but also not.
However, I'm not ready to go home just yet.
Although the thought of why i signed up for another year at the same school does pop up in my head a few times...or often at times -_-""

*sigh*
I hope everyone's having a Happy Pride, please do post up some pics and tell me any fun adventures/drama...
and Happy Canada Day!

bob it like it's hot

2008-06-22T20:27:00.002+09:00

*ah* such an eventful weekend.
I first started it off actually on the friday night.
Went to a jimjilbang to get myself all clean and relaxed with a nice book.
I was eventually getting really tired and went back home,
turned on the tv to get some background noise and stumbled onto a movie about Johnny Cash.
So...I stayed up way too long than i was suppose to because I had to wake up relatively early (in my terms) to meet up with S&L to go to Apujeong, a supposed rich, yorkville-like place with nice shops.
Last week I went there and there really wasn't anything (including little boutiques that I just adore)...
however, S knew a great place although it was about a 20min. walk away from the station.
In the end, the place she brought us too wasn't too shabby.
I got my haircut there and now I am a new owner of a bob.
That's right, i got bobbed.
It's ass sweat hot out here so having long hair just wasn't practical for me.
The place that i went was pretty classy.
Instead of the 8 dollar haircuts I could've easily gotten around my place,
i went for the 35 dollar one.
I had 2 people cater to me.
One cut my hair while the other had brushes and sponges to prevent any hair from getting into my face and tried to make me as comfortable as possible.
One of the best 35 dollars i've ever spent.
And i didn't even have to tip them...or rather, I couldn't.

After, L got me one of the most amazing egg tarts i've eaten in my life because she promised she would get me one after my haircut.
It was orgasmic *licks lips* man....it was so good,
I just sucked that puppy up.
After, we bid adieu to S and went back home to watch a movie we had purchased weeks before (realizing that 3 of them had no English subtitles....oops)

Today, I met up with Melissa B, who I had met at Scuba lessons at Hongdae.
She took me to the artist that I am planning to purchase his artwork from.
I'm stoked.
I can't wait.....some of my goals are planning to come to life...to LIIIIFE!!!!
after the little meet and greet, Melissa showed me some cool little nooks around Hongdae and then I left.
Right now, i'm about to leave to watch Kung Fu Panda with Double D (hehe~~)

As for my whole wallet thing, no one returned it, so I'm still in the process of getting my replacement things now *sigh*

here's a pic of bob:

"sthuffering sthuckatash" - Sylvester the Cat

2008-06-16T23:19:00.002+09:00

I'll just get my aggravations out first:
I F***ing left my wallet in a taxi!!!
ARGH!!!!
so i'm waiting a few more hours before I report my visa card stolen and have to go through an entire process and canceling and getting replacement cards.
My alien card, visa, bank card, and ontario driver's license were in there!!!
ARGH!!!!
After finding out about 15minutes later that I had left my wallet in the taxi,
I came out and searched around the taxi stands, hoping perhaps my taxi driver was still there.
After awhile, a man came and tried to help me find it.
He didn't know any English and he heard from Lauren that I was Chinese...
so he called a bunch of people he knew that knew how to speak Chinese so that they could communicate with me...
and yes...not overlooking the flaw of my inadequate Chinese,
the Koreans only know Mandarin, not Cantonese (which I am somewhat aware of).
So it was all a loss.
However, he was nice enough to call the police for us to report my stolen wallet...
and so...here comes my adventure..
ATTENTION EVERYONE!
I rode at the back of a police car in Korea.
That's right.
With flashing lights and all.
In the end, i had to get Joey on the phone to translate stuff for me,
I left my name and then they dropped me back at the place they picked me up from...
but the important part...
I RODE AT THE BACK OF A POLICE CAR....
not once...but TWICE
lol

I found it absolutely hilarious that they made such a huge deal.
What I really wanted was just to report it lost and just go back to my day as planned...
but...why not get pseudo arrested?

So yes, at the moment, it's extremely frustrating to play the waiting game...
and to anticipate all the things I have to do to resolve the officially lost wallet.
I also had a pretty sum of money in my wallet... *argh*

Alright, besides my lost wallet,
I watched the movie "Sex in the City"
My review? Way too long...way too sappy.... and the realization that ultimately, nothing much changed.
However, it had an interesting take on the resolution of certain issues...
but still...waaaaay too long.
I have been watching Sex in the City over here.
Mostly because it's one of the few shows that is on (and in English)
and it's usually on when I'm up and/or available to watch TV.
I've essentially watched every episode of Sex in the City,
so I would like to say my review for the movie is somewhat valid from a person who is well acquainted with the Sex in the City series.

I wanted to watch "Kung Fu Panda" too... but then because of the lost wallet situation, I had no funds to purchase a ticket.
So to home i went.
Surprisingly, I haven't mourned too much about my wallet.
I'm surprised i haven't helplessly, blankly, stared at the wall for hours.
I actually still had a decent day yesterday and somewhat today.

As for my current situation, i'm just slightly anxious about what I must do tomorrow about said missing wallet
and i'm also reflecting upon some issues regarding work.
Hopefully everything will be resolved smoothly, painlessly, and quickly.

Alright, time to get lost with my baby.

Virtual pennies for your thoughts?

2008-06-11T23:33:00.002+09:00

So I was about to do a little schpiel about certain individuals who put unreasonable expectations on others despite not being able to do the given tasks themselves...
and I was going to write a rant regarding another individual who sometimes makes me so utterly furious that I feel like breaking people's faces....
but how that individual makes me utterly happy...
*alas* those terrible highs and lows.

However, I stumbled onto an article that I find far more interesting.
Anything that'll deal with ethical issues...
because teaching children isn't the most intellectually stimulating thing in the world, but i've had worse:

Should children be taken away from their parents due to their beliefs?

do tell me what you think.
My reply will be posted up once I've formed some sort of dialogue in my head
but at the moment...i'm going to do some TLC with my baby...and watch the Janice Dickinson tv show (damn you fashionistas for sucking me into this genre!!!!)

"i wish i was an oscar meyer weiner....

2008-06-11T00:36:00.002+09:00

huzzah, another post.
i thought i might binge on this to compensate for the lack of posts.
today was a pretty long day,
had to wake up early to take the sophizzle to the vet,
do a few errands and wandered around the Uijeongbu area before school started.

It seems my move to put myself hostage for a certain situation has turned out well,
and so once our goal was achieved, i simply and immediately took myself off of the negotiating tables and into...well...my present situation.

I've realized how much I'll have to do this upcoming weekend *argh*
I gotta book plane tickets, do a bunch of errands, do some personal trips and so forth.
ARGH!!! damnit, time's a ticking and everything's coming all together.

This morning, while chilling with my willing victim,
the feeling of not wanting to settle just yet was extremely prevalent.
I have so much I want to do that it just doesn't feel right to tie myself down with more obligations.
I mean, really, i'm tied by who I am, my status as a daughter, sister, friend, a good partner, my fears, and so forth.
I don't need anything else to tie me down.
So what has this done?!

East Europe!! i may or may not be coming to you soon.
yeah, that's right.
I'm not finished yet.

And as for you,
you shady shady person:
I AM finished with you.

Break it to me

2008-06-10T17:57:00.001+09:00

Currently at work during one of my breaks today.

I like Tuesdays because I only have 5 classes, unlike my other ones that have...7 to 8

*blargh*

Alas! I have not blogged for awhile, hence, I am now...

though not the best of times, but it is for me.

Here's the thing: When I am home, I look at my computer and check my e-mails and what not..

and then I think: perhaps i should write a blog or go on MSN or what not to communicate with my fellow humans..

but then i think: NAH! I want to enjoy my day not looking at some electronic screen,

I can go and explore Korea, play with the pup, chill with people in real life, do some accomplishments and so forth.

As many of us knows, sometimes we don't realize how long we have been online until it's too late.

That darned machine does suck up a lot of one's time and energy without knowing.

So that's my excus...err...i mean...explanation for the lack of entries.

So how did my scuba lessons go?

the first lesson was nerve wrecking because I questioned my swimming abilities and the equipment...

when we were diving deep into the water where if I had the need to surface, it was nearly impossible without a respirator,

I was extremely anxious.

My goggles were fogging and so my sight was limited, which did not help myself freaking out.

But in the end, i survived (yes yes, put that champagne bottle back, I have yet to die yet)

This past weekend was my last confined diving lesson,

and it was significantly easier and better that I actually quite enjoyed it.

I dreaded it for the most of the week and chanted to myself to stop questioning my abilities and the equipment

and it worked.

Damn my pessimism of myself, I must work on that, I know, I know.

Either way, I am certified! in the Confined diving..for now...until after my summer vacation, where i'll complete the open water test.

Although, throughout this diving experience, I did realize that there does tend to be an issue with people's misinterpretations of my facial expressions.

As I was silently freaking out, my instructor thought i was happily smiling away while slightly drowning.

Here is the fallacy of my emotions: My mouth is a deception.

My mouth is naturally in a smiling position.

It is not because I am always happy, or up to something mischievious, no no..

it's because my mouth is simply like that, due to my slight overbite.
In addition, when i'm frustrated or not in the best of moods, i have a tendency to tense up my mouth, that does tend to look like a smile...

My emotions are revealed through my eyes.

If he had actually looked at my eyes, he would have seen utter fear and frustration in my eyes as we realized and accepted the fact that I was naturally negatively buoyant (meaning: I sink like...Saved by the Bell's Screech's career).

Another good thing that came out of this experience, besides bringing forth the potentiality of newer experiences, is that I met a girl who will be intro-ing me to this guy who was trained by this artist I wanted to meet to purchase his services.

I'm stoked.

More than a 10 year plan...starting to come into action.

Excited.

Alright, the bell has rung and I must go to my class.

Another time,

At the same Ho place,

Perhaps same Ho time.

priss...diss

2008-05-31T01:27:00.003+09:00

The Priss

Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLD)

Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss.

Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy.

These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards.

You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing.

Your exact female opposite:

The Playstation

Random Gentle Sex Master

Always avoid: The Playstation (RGSM), The Peach (RGLM)

Consider: The Wild Rose (RBLD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - free online dating | Dating

DISSS!!

i'm stoked for this sunday,
I'll be in some skin tight garbs doing what i've wanted to do...
SCUBA DIVE!! woot woot
by the time i go to fred's wedding, i'll be scuba certified to dive on my own.
*ah* awesomeness.
A long weekend is also coming up and i'll be spending it with sarah out in the country.
It'll be cool.

Today, i had to do some damage control...and also duck away from some certain contracts
it was exhausting..
and then i had an idiotic brat claim that i was stupid and crazy, hence he doesn't have to listen to me,
despite not knowing the majority of things we were conversing about.
yes, wonderful.
It's *such* a smart thing to do to call a person who can pass or fail him an idiot.
*so* smart.
He claims i'm crazy and an idiot because i twist his, unrelated to the topic in class, words and situations.
He's followed by one of those sheep individuals who are not popular or liked themselves,
but follow the one who is supposedly the "popular" ones.
These individuals are also called the "leech" "follower" "brown noser" "sheep" "the bitch" and etcetera.
he's become so confident with his association that he no longer thinks as an individual and uses the "I" but the "We"
Very sad, I pity him greatly.

Either way, I dealt with the situation fairly well, with him having to contain himself and being silent.
And me not having to get into trouble with my superiors by crushing his self-esteem and making him cry...despite wanting to do it *oh so much*
I think if he thinks i'm an idiot, he shouldn't be telling me this,
but to my superior.
Honestly, i'm clearly not the decision maker.
If i was, the little shit would be tortured or no longer be around (as in, no longer study in my school...not because he would be killed...despite a little piece of me hoping for it).
So if really, if my intellect is not up to par with my students, they should definitely bring it up to my superiors.
Of course my superiors would laugh at their absurd claims,
but still:
Why complain or state something to a person who can't do anything with the information?!
Smart indeed.

alas! only the idiot claims to be smarter than everyone else.
i'm not saying i'm NOT stupid or an idiot.
I agree that i am.
The thing that i disagree is that he was less of an idiot than I.
That's what i'm saying.
He also should've taken note that i didn't disagree w/ him about his claims that i was crazy.
Cuz only a crazy person would work in such conditions and deal with little shits with a smile on their face.

*ah* isn't life grand!

time to watch my shows about murder.

moment

2008-05-29T01:20:00.002+09:00

I just had a:
Holy crap! I'm in Korea
moment.

it's a bittersweet thang..but mostly sweet

I think i have somehow drowned out the Korean language being spoken and written around me...
it's messed up, I know.
At least I no longer wake up from bed and realize that I'm not in Canada in my own bed anymore..
it was a cruel cruel awakening,
waking up to a place you weren't expecting to wake up to.

Speaking of which: The 23rd that just recently passed was my 9 monthiversary
time does fly.

"idiots say 'what?'" "what?" "exactly"

2008-05-29T00:51:00.002+09:00

yeah, that's what happens when you deal with pre pubescent, annoying teens

In a good 10 or so hours, I'll be taking a drug test
yup, a drug test.
I shouldn't have anything to worry about
although sadly, my prescription drugs might cause a false positive...huzzah...
*boo* to the lax health confidentiality clauses in Korea.
I'm not a big fan of revealing my entire medical history/ prescription drug history to my employers or to any person, to be honest with you.

anyways, i'll be prodded, x-rayed and gawd knows what....
and then after, i'll go straight to work *le sigh*

speaking of work: i have a fuller schedule and less breaks :*(
however, what has kept me up lately is that I found out one of my students is glad he has me as a teacher b/c he thinks i'm funny...
and an ex-student who is now being taught by Lauren absolutely loves me, despite not having taught her for over 5 months.
She even wrote in her journal that she really wants me back
:*) awww.... she's so sweet.
They made my day, despite having a shite-y day.

I also found out one reason my boss really likes me is that I come from University of Toronto...
well...surely b/c it wasn't b/c of my teaching skills... *le sigh*

Side note: i'm really contemplating leaving if Lauren doesn't stay.
She's my travelling buddy and it'd suck if she's not around.
So yeah...if she leaves, i'm contemplating going to teach at Indonesia and she would join me.
Although, the money won't be as good...but, it'd still be fun,
which is what i'm mostly about.
I don't know.
I've been juggling a lot of 'ifs' and 'buts' lately that my head just numbs itself.

In addition, a few things have been revealed to me as of late
and i'm glad it has.
It gives me a better picture as to what is occurring around me...and without me.
I'm glad i'm seen as someone's very good and close friend
and i'm glad they trust me.
It makes me feel like despite all the wrong things i've done,
i've at least done SOMETHING correctly..
and at least the thing that i've done correctly is considered really important to me.

and with that, i bid adieu.
pictures shall eventually pop up.

2008-05-22T18:18:00.001+09:00

Right now, I'm at school.

Extremely peeved...PISSED, to be exact...SEETHING...

I was already in a pretty grumpy mood before getting into the school because I hardly had any sleep due to a puking pooch who got into my teacher's day gifts and destroyed and ate virtually everything.

And then while walking to school, I realize that I forgot to bring Geek's number to call him...

And THEN i get scolded for making a hard to control class do lines,

despite having completed the lesson AND controlled the class.

Here's a tip on how to deal with me when i'm pissed or extremely upset:

Don't talk to me.

I don't want to share what i'm thinking at the moment.

When i'm damn ready, i'll bring it up.

If you want to talk to me, don't talk to me about the possible subject that's upsetting me,

talk to me about another topic. I would be fine.

If you talk to me about the subject, i'll get even more upset....

*Argh*

Now my supervisor's cowering away. Because she knows i'm pissed..

and she's sending her minions to approach me.

wonderful.

I know I wasn't the best coordinator or executive director at SEC...

but i'm pretty certain that i'm considerably better than my current supervisor.

Keywords: constructive criticism...and stop playing the blame game

.....

2008-05-22T00:45:00.002+09:00

....you bastard!
THIS is what i get when i save my password in my comp..
and fall asleep in front of the laptop *Sigh*

nothing much to report...
I received a package from my parents, and yet again,
most of the things were for sophie...
they care for her more than for me..and they haven't met her yet
*le sigh*

funny story:
While walking around Downtown Uijeongbu to kill time so that we (Lauren and I) could pick up Sophie for the doctor,
Lauren had to really go to the washroom..
so we decided to go to the closest cafe..buy a drink and then use the washroom.
There was a place saying "cafe" so we went...
it was oddly in the basement.. (1st sign something was wrong)
It was dark and..a familiar, yet mysterious stench emanated through the air (2nd and 3rd thing wrong)
We sat down at a table and looked at the drinks that had no prices...
There were a bunch of shady looking women staring at us..
and the tea and coffee that we ordered were the instant stuff....

What we found out after (and to my suspicions) was that we entered one of the infamous prostitution cafes... aka "da bang" (da=[i forgot] bang=room)
that's right...a prostitution cafe
awkward? indeed!

no wonder they were looking at us weirdly...
and when we came out, a bunch of men hanging outside were flustered.
but yes, *whoops* an honest mistake, i swear.

*blargh* i'm so tired i'm going to go to bed.

HACKED!!!!

2008-05-20T02:00:00.001+09:00

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Re:

2008-05-15T00:23:00.003+09:00

To answer your question:
my daily routine is dependent on well...what occurs in the morning or the night before.
If i did not sleep at 3 or 4am or awaken to the sound of my phone ringing with the other end informing me to go online and webcam so that a) they can show me something or b)that i'm not cheating on them;
I wake up at around 10:30am and go straight to the gym
Work out for an hour,
come back, drink a strawberry, banana and ginseng smoothie;
walk the dog,
feed the dog,
then go straight to school by 1pm.
I do some paperwork until 1:30pm and then I eat lunch.
2pm, class
4:30pm, i have a break and eat a snack while doing paperwork or get out of the school for some fresh air.
9:20pm, school ends, get back home
have dinner (on Wednesdays, I go out to eat with Lauren)
and then right after, if I am not totally exhausted from the day or if dinner hasn't gone past 10:45pm, I go to the gym for an hour of working out.
When I get back home, I spend some TLC with my special individual and/or socialize with Shella/Lauren/Danielle,
watch TV for a little while, do some house chores;
take a shower,
read and then go to sleep...around...2am.
Then I do it aalllll over again.

Happy now?

Presently, i'm contemplating looking around for some cool places to go around Korea.
Another long weekend is coming in a few weeks and Sarah (a cool Korean teacher), Lauren, and I are planning to go on a one day trip just to enjoy the scenery...go to a cafe..go to the beach and to talk.
Sarah's really cool and random.
During one of the meetings, there was a disagreement between my supervisor and I regarding why I should be forced to eat later and Sarah..in an attempt to support me said:
"Well, she's Chinese Canadian. Food is very important to them"
I just had to stop with my mouth open...I was both offended and amused.
But I LOVE that explanation now.
Sarah was totally embarrassed and explained that one of her Chinese friends informed her about the importance of food to the Chinese and she informed her friend about what she said..and he told her how stupid her comment was.
But it amuses me now and I try to use that excuse as much as possible,
not to embarrass her, mind you, but b/c i absolutely LOVE it now.
her randomness and eccentricities are great and I really enjoy her company.

Speaking of Korean teachers, one awesome Korean teacher, who's a preschool teacher really reminds me of one of my favorite highschool friends: Brenda Ham.
They look, act and talk almost exactly the same.
They just make me smile.
So everytime I talk or look at her, I always see Brenda, and it brings a smile to my face.
I spoke to Brenda a few weeks ago online.
We haven't spoken to one another for a few years,
it was pretty cool learning about what she's been up to.
She surprised me though with a comment she made regarding me...
that despite not having seen or spoken to her for a lengthy amount of time,
she thought of me as such after learning I've been travelling and plan on travelling for the next few years:

brenda says:
yeah, a person like you with so much passion, u need to explore the world

this comment resonated in my head for the following days.
It surprised me because I couldn't believe she saw that and thought of me like that...
It made me happy.

Alright, i'm ending this on a good note.
Adieu and goodnight...or to many: good morning

my bad

2008-05-12T22:57:00.003+09:00

i apologize for the lack of updates.
I know i have been terrible posting.
I can't help it.
I just love not having to be tied to the computer.
It's absolutely....freeing (notice my diminishing vocabulary? *sigh*)
I've been tied to the computer and my cellphone for so long that it's been absolutely amazing to no longer have to be obligated to be around it.
Of course it has been terrible for communication with friends and family
as it is limited to whenever i do feel necessary to go online..but...
hey! i'm happy and still alive!

I've done numerous things including rafting...getting lauren to shave her unshaven legs at the cost of me painting my toenails....going out of seoul for a vacation...causing havoc with my boss....taking small steps to officiate my second year here... and so on and so forth.
but of course, like the bastard that i am, I won't be going into specifics about it.
Actually, what's been getting to me lately is this:
I've realized how much i've missed back in the Canadas..and it makes me wonder about a lot of things..and the constant question has been
"what happened?!" "why?!" and "what were you thinking?!"
but of course, they won't be answered.

i'll try to update more.
i'll try to write more...but i'm just having way too much fun experiencing instead of writing about said experience.

by the way: i'm addicted to the tv show "Pushing Daisies" it's morbidly funny.
i highly recommend it.

P.S. a crapload of pictures can be found here.
I'm too lazy to edit and copy and paste every link:
password: immaho

pictures galore!

got my fingers burned

2008-04-11T23:31:00.002+09:00

these past few days were a tad trying..
although last night, my Uncle Lucas came over to Korea for a 2 day tour.
I met up with him after work.
It was great...it was finally nice to talk to and spend some time with someone who came from..well..home.
Although he thought i just finished my first year of university and was just taking a break....
man, if i was still in my first year of uni, i'd kill myself.

I heard this song on my mp3 player while walking the sophster.
the Hoju intro'd me to this singer and i'm really loving this song

a double take

2008-04-10T01:05:00.004+09:00

During the one hour lunch break at my workplace.
A preschooler that I teach science to once a week (yes, yes, lets overlook the fallacy of me teaching, out of all the subjects to teach: science, to anyone or even to anything) saw me walking through the hallway.
She yells "Alicia Teacher!!!"
runs to me with open arms
I wave and say 'hello...' (trying to avoid saying her name since I could not remember her name)
She hugs me and doesn't let go.
She stays there for 5 minutes grabbing on to me..as I pat her back, trying to think about ways to be released out of her kiddie grasps..and how awkward this was.
Shella comes by and says "awww...whose maternal instincts are kicking in?!"
The girl lets go as I redirect her attention to another teacher/victim she could grab onto..
and then I immediately check my pocket where my wallet is located to see if it was still there.

Maternal instincts indeed.

The other night:
Shella "OH MY GOSH! YOU HAVE A G-STRING!!"
me "WHAT?!"
*shella picks up "g-string"*
me ".........
dude, that's my sports bra"
shella "....."
me "my arse is not that big"
shella "well...i gotta go now..."

Last week:
In my younger elementary class in which I have vehemently and repeatedly indicated to them that I am not Korean but Chinese-Canadian;
one of the girls came up to me at the end of class and said
"Teacher, I know you're not Korean because you're beautiful"
I didn't know what to say...b/c I didn't know which one to address first:
1) the error of me being beautiful or
2) The fact that she believes Koreans are not beautiful
so I just smiled to her and thanked her for her innocent, yet all too revealing, compliment.

Yesterday, I had 2 male younger kids grab my right boob (yes, JUST the right)
one grabbed it and yelled "MILK!"
and the other, grabbed it and I immediately grabbed his wrist and almost twisted it off until i realized that he was just a child...
and there was CCTV...

Also, today, while correcting one of my elementary kid's homework,
her assignment was to write a letter to one of her friends and to tell him/her how much she appreciated them.
She wrote one to me and wrote down how happy i made her
and that she loved me.
I was really touched.
I'm glad I make her happy...b/c *Gawd* knows i have so many miserable children who make me miserable and in return, I make them even more miserable.
*ah* such a vicious cycle.

I can't wait until this weekend.
I'll be going to a traditional show-buffet with a few co-workers.
It's called "Korea House",
i'll also hopefully fill my gullet with a big juicy burger, thanks to Melissa who will be giving me access into her army base...
and then sunday, i'll be attending the cherry blossom festival.
GLOOORIOUS!!
and then next May..i'll be in a new semester (*YES* no more 2 horrendous classes)
and there will be two long weekends back to back.
One long weekend will be spent w/ co-workers at either a spa or somewhere else out of seoul...paid by by our boss (accommodations and so forth).
^_^ V *yeeeeeee*

things are looking good.

By the way: Where the F**K are my letters?!?!?!?

Better in Time

2008-04-08T00:44:00.003+09:00

Would I get better in time?
well....depends how i spend that time.
It's all about quality, not quantity.

An awesome thing happened,
despite being fuming with anger this past sunday, thanks to a certain brat messing with my stuff,
My good ol' pals, L&D, purchased me my first ever Birkenstock s!!!
I couldn't go with them to Uijeongbu because I had to clean up the mess,
so while they went, they remembered that I mentioned i really wanted the Birkenstocks I saw the other week b/c I've never had them and I needed some casual flip flops/sandals.
So...what did they do?! They bought it for me!
They're so awesome and comfy!!
that really made my day.

I've noticed that lately, a few of my younger students have been quite attached to me...
they've been hugging onto me and i've been having difficulty prying them off of me,
so i've been having to drag them around as I teach.
Or, when we have a little bit of free time, they do their word searches or coloring pages,
And while I'm helping one student, one or two either sits on my lap, hugs me, or rests their head on my head.
I'm glad that they're comfortable with me, but I fear the attachment...
and what my supervisors might say if they saw me like that.
I'm also happy that one of my worst students who rarely paid attention or did his homework started to do his homework and participate.
Apparently, he enjoys my class and enthusiastically does my homework and more than what was assigned.
I'm slightly touched by that, his mother called and thanked me for my hard work and patience with him..
The other day, he told me to go close up to him so he could whisper something.
He said he had something for me,
and I was worried it was some insect, frog or whatever disgusting thing that children just love to collect...i've heard stories about these things from the other teachers...
But in the end, he gave me an entire pack of these delicious yogurt flavoured caramels..or candy-gummyish things that I am now currently hooked on.
That made me happy,
not because, like many children, he has discovered my kryptonite is food...but that he willingly gave me a gift without it being a special occasion..and knowing that what he gave me was essentially like gold to him.
I gave him a big hug,
he shied away a bit, but he definitely loved my innocent affection.
It's odd, but I'm hitting it off better with the younger children than with the older ones, although it takes out more energy out of me to deal with the young'uns.
I've been informed by Lauren that when I speak to the younger children, I sound like i'm talking to Soph...
Although, really, it's not to demean them, but I need a friendlier voice to the younger ones, so they know once I drop my voice (aka my usual voice), I mean business.
And okay, I'm faking enthusiasm...
as many know, i'm not the most enthusiastic person in the world,
it's just not my thang.

Alright, gonna end this entry,
I gotta wake up a tad early to go to the gym, walk soph, and do whatever chore that must be done before I go to work.
I apologize for the lack of updates, but I have been busy..and I've been tired after work..and when i'm not, i'd go to the gym.
My mission is to regain my abs, build up my obliques, and to strengthen my extremely weak lower back.
I've been so unhealthy for the past few years that it's absolutely ridiculous,
and since I have the finances now, I'm training myself to pick up some good habits i.e. getting off of my arse and feeling good.

At the moment? I'm feeling goooooooooood.

Adios.

The countdown begins!!

A more in depth look of our conversation:

2008-04-06T23:26:00.003+09:00

Disregarding the definition of what 'love' is:
CAN a person love two people, knowing that the split love are hurting deeply because of the knowledge of the love for the other?
If the answer is 'yes', does one really love another when their love is hurting the beloved more than not having the love at all?
Or, is this all a 'no' and that the whole 'monogamy' argument is valid..
and that one should or is only in love with one person, excluding every other possibility (disregarding all the possibilities that may arise...just to avoid any arguments regarding that part)

hmm....

511

nekkid!!

2008-03-31T23:59:00.002+09:00

Heyos everyone!
really have nothing much to report.
this past weekend, I spent some time w/ a few co-workers and my boss at a traditional jimjilbang.
I was pretty psyched for it and scared Danielle L. with my screams of
"LET'S HAVE SOME NEKKID FUN!!!"
in the staff room haha
or my comments of : "c'maaan! let's go and have some non sexual nekkid fun"
in the end, it was an entirely new experience minus the nudity of everyone.
We all just went into the uniforms and went into these awesome sweat log huts.
There was one room w/ a salt rock filled floor and we lied on it for awhile.
I think i have a salt rock bruise on my left rib.

It was really relaxing.
Also, we caught a few flicks this past week.
One was 10 000 B.C. ...it wasn't too bad, although the ending..and the non-ending of one particular character's life kinda ruined it for me;
In addition, "the other bolweyn sister" starring eric bana, natalie portman, and scarlette johannson (yeah, i spelled her name wrong, i don't care).
It wasn't too bad...but not really something that good...despite my bias towards historically based flicks.

As for work, it's not too shabby.
Today, i had fun w/ my supervisor by making her squirm when she told me I had another new student in my class and that I would have to photocopy part of a book...again.
This was a minute before class started,
So i gave her my "Whuh?!" o_O look and didn't say anything.
She just started squirming and saying "what?...what?!?! what?!?!" in a whiny tone.
And then after 2 minutes, I told her I was just joking and that it was okay,
lol she started whining more and saying that she hated me in a joking manner.
haha

Joey and my supervisor has also named me something like.."dogdochun" or something of that like,
to me, it sounds like they're just calling me a dog..or "doggy"
but apparently, it means genius or smart person...
i'm not too fond of it mostly b/c it still sounds like "dog".
Every time they call me that, i just feel like running to them, panting like a dog.
But they call me this b/c i've been their technical support with their computer issues and random things that I just happen to know... due to the random knowledge i've accumulated from gawd knows what.

As for my baby, she got her period...she's becoming a woman :*)
so as any Asian mother would do..i have imprisoned her in my place for fear of her getting pregnant until i neuter her.
I refuse my daughter to be one of those illegitimate child bearing girls.
the shame she would bring to our asian family..SHAAAME!!
lol

Cont. of the Closer-esque moment:
I knew once I woke up in the middle of the night...
I turned towards the person sleeping next to me.
I caressed her face with my fingers and covered her exposed shoulder with the comforter that we shared and unconsciously wrestled for,
and the feeling overcame me.
I spoke the words as it simultaneously came to my mind, soul, and entire body:
"I don't love you"
and that was when everything tied together.
I turned around and faced the wall, closed my eyes,
and fell asleep.
That was one of the best sleep i've ever had.

Runaway Train

2008-03-27T00:50:00.002+09:00

and I'm the conductor....crap?

Right now, i'm just chugging along, not really having much downtime to actually write a post.
At the moment, i feel like i'm going on this predetermined path that I have no idea of..but i'm just here for the ride, whether i like it or not.
I'm using this analogy simply because the runaway train analogy popped in my head a few minutes ago while taking a shower.
It's an analogy that pops up quite often as i just mull around in my memory.
I believe it came up while studying Descartes' First Meditations.
Oddly enough, I remember that it was my first time doing summer courses at UT..
it was a pretty small class...3 hours... and as usual, a few intimidating classmates.
We had a very important French philosopher watching over our lesson that day, as he was our lecturer's supervisor for his/her final stamp for her phD.
I know i wanted time to look over a few things, but of course in the education system, you really don't have time.
So now i'm digesting it and applying it.

Back to the present:
I feel like I have a destination i'm getting closer to.
The anxiety deep inside of my mind and heart is telling me so..
I'm sure i could have gotten significantly closer to it by now..
but instead, i vied for the scenic route (I always preferred the scenic route)
at the expense of a few years...and at no expense of my mental, emotional, physical and *gawd* knows what...which would have been the cost if i had gotten to the most direct route.
As for my destination, I have no idea but hey! I might as well enjoy the ride.

I know a handful of you want me back home,
but you know i can't, not yet.
I do have very good reasons as to why returning prematurely, from my perspective, would not be conducive towards my entire whole as a person.
Despite being scoffed at by my Jungian professor when I answered a personal question of hers that I was planning to "find myself",
It's not that i'm "finding" as if i've never seen myself..
but more of having lost myself in what i had to do, such as finishing up my studies and well...surviving..
I'm just trying to get myself back together, after many individuals' attempts to mold me into something that they seemed fit..
and to learn and get to know myself better.
It's extremely difficult to do so in an atmosphere in which there is a very strong idea of what one believes or thinks I am.
If you treat a person like they're an idiot...after awhile, they'll begin to believe it and act accordingly, despite previously obviously not being anywhere near the treatment imposed on that person.

I'll just end this post now,
the pup's telling me i'm neglecting her..
so i'll just share this song that i've been jamming to and have had on constant loop for the past few days.
Also, i'm pretty stoked that I will be attending Ne-yo and Chris Brown's concert this coming April 6th with a Kickass Korean, Jiny and my other co-workers.
I'm extremely stoked.

bow shicka bow bow (?)

2008-03-19T23:32:00.006+09:00

Here's a little somethin' somethin' that pops up in my head
while i'm just walkin' about

haha, the latter one..by vgcats especially messes me up.
And, it's by a fellow Canuck :)

But I would say..PBF definitely beats VG cats for the humour.

_______________________________

Lately, i've been thinking about an issue that has been constantly bugging me.
When i play the concept in my head,
I don't mind it...
but as I further put myself in such a situation...
I get a panic attack.
Seriously, I panic and want to run.
However, when i'm actually in the situation,
I act accordingly..but *Gawd* the feeling of being chained down is dominant.
Hence, I shall continue on what I've been doing.

I'm sorry, but I have way too many things to do
I really don't have the time or the energy to deal with the shit that would be brought upon me.

FYI

2008-03-07T00:24:00.000+09:00

my ass is burning from the heated floors...
that is all

Good, life is

2008-03-06T00:22:00.002+09:00

Right now, I have my beautiful, floppy puppy on my lap...
drinking a strawberry-banana smoothie I just made from my 16 dollar smoothie machine...
Just returned from the gym...
still stuffed from the free dinner I got from my bosses, which included various kimbaps, smoked meats, and kimchi...

life.
is.
good.

I have a decent amount of money in my wallet and bank account,
I have my own place,
I have some good friends, who are also my neighbours around me.
And although work has been hectic and disorganized..and...plenty,
it's tolerable
and my bosses and co-workers are cool with me.

Currently, I know many of my friends are suffering from papers and exam cram time...
and I absolutely do not miss it..at ALL.
I love this change of pace,
not being broke or starving...
and being stuck.

Lately, i've been frequenting a Jimjilbang near my place.
It's a great way to relax.
For 6 bucks, I have unlimited hours and access to it's spas, saunas and so forth.
I'm planning on going friday night and staying overnight.
It's a great way to get to know ppl and to just chill.

In addition, I've been attending a Korean class with Lauren and Shella.
I went in on the 2nd day and they were going pretty fast,
but I was on the ball, to my surprise,
considering I really suck on picking up languages...
seriously....10 years trying to learn Cantonese and still nuthin'
Although, as my defense: Cantonese is hard! it's essentially learning 2 languages in one!
Speaking and Writing are almost entirely different...
and there's no alphabet!!
it's all memorization!!
C'MAAAAN!!

Of course, I'll be keeping my growing knowledge of Korean on the down-low w/ my parents...
as they would kick my arse if they ever found out that I understood/spoke more Korean than Cantonese..
which would be sad and "shameful" indeed.

And okay, fine, there's no excuse for my terrible terrible french.
I just suck.

I apologize for the lack of updates, but...I really don't want to be dependent on the web.
Also, I know i'm probably the worst correspondent ever,
I don't know why,
I used to be good and consistent..
but..I think after so long...I've drifted away from really replying
Perhaps after SEC, in which I was tied to my e-mail and so forth.
I just need a break, hence being here.

Alright, I"m gonna spend some quality time w/ the pup..
I'll try to update a tad more often.

half year mark

2008-02-24T00:11:00.002+09:00

this past thursday was my half year mark being here.
who knew...who knew...
this week has been quite trying.
I was unfortunately suffering from a terrible cold and some other type of illness that caused all of my joints stiff and aching....muscle weakness...and my frontal lobes all numb (brain-wise, that is).

monday was the worst day, i was mostly delirious and unable to really walk,
I really needed to go back home but one of my co-workers was already sick
and the head teacher was covering for her.
My new supervisor is..well...new, so she had no idea how and what to teach my classes and was freaking out.
So i sucked it up and went through with the classes.
And i do not remember anything that i taught and my daily report notes were pure scribbles.

The next day, i was a little bit better, but still not good enough.
I blacked out a few times during mid sentence in my classes.
So for the most of the week, i've been trudging around school...
but friday i felt back to normal
and now, i'm much better.

On another note, today is fatman's bday celebration.
I can't believe i'm missing it.
For the past few years, i've been there preparing and planning his parties...
and now i'm not.
i've somewhat begun to reminisce about the people and life i've left behind back in toronto.
It feels like i'm back in highschool all over again
and as many people who knew me back then and after:
I hated highschool.
well, not all of highschool but the majority of it.
I worked so hard to avoid as much as any life similar to highschool as possible..
and what happens?! i fly across an ocean and i land right into it.
wonderful. just wonderful.

Do you know what gets me down?
not work, not money.....it's people.
When ppl try to pull you down with them to their crap attitude.
Honestly, a girl just wants to get by with a pretty decent attitude and perspective... and here people are trying to muck it up.
Of course i'm not saying i'm willfully blinding myself from issues and problems,
but seriously, there are so many ways and approaches to do things.
Such as an aptly titled short story: 100 ways to skin a cat
And i'm just picking one where the killer doesn't have to do much work.... and the cat is as high as a kite...before quickly passing away.
And 'no', i would not use hemlock.

blah, i'm tired and i'm utterly tired from passing the entire CoD4 on my own.

So last words:
I have been extremely accommodating towards many things.
I've changed and shared many things with friends, strangers, and lower.....
but there are certain things that I refuse to budge on
and THIS is one of them.
I own this.
I am the one in full control,
and it shall stay that way.

this made my day

2008-02-12T01:42:00.001+09:00

we have to correct journal entries every week
Usually, the students don't know who's correcting which journal.
And i've intentionally made my identity as unknown as possible while correcting.
Today, I was correcting one of my Pre-Middle school's students' journal and look:

It basically reads (after editing):
My Heroes
I would like to introduce to you my heroes.
My heroes are Daniel Radcliffe Jae jung Kim, Geng Young Hy and Alicia teacher.
Daniel Radcliffe is my actor hero.
He has a tall body, high nose and has beautiful coloured eyes
Jae Jung Kim (so amazing)has the nickname = "Hero Jae Jung"and I tink he is lie (?) Heros.
Geng Yong Hu is my crazy hero.
He said his IQ is 430! and made pan moom jum (I don't know spelling!)
Alicia teacher is my Joking (or Kidding) Hero.
She calls me - "Koala Kate"

awww...i'm finally feelin' appreciated.

so-sigh-it-tee

2008-02-11T00:08:00.000+09:00

It was just last night did remnants of my desire to further study return to me.
It's been a long time. I still feel extremely jaded by my education system, but my desire is stronger.
However, I'm still digesting the concepts i've learned at an amazingly fast pace.
I feel a mental indigestion.
And now, my increasingly diminishing vocabulary is leaving me unable to express said concepts.
Last night, I was able to talk about things that I really wanted to talk about.
Things that were silenced from numerous relationships.
Things, that in a way, people tried to render inappropriate or unfathomable.
I was finally able to talk and play with the concepts of the noumena, Phenomena, Buddhist thoughts, Marxism and so forth, to a willful ear.
It was a relief.
A desire long unfulfilled.
And bittersweet, for it shouldn't have been silenced that long.
Sad, because it should have never made me feel ashamed for thinking, inquiring, and speaking.
I felt angry.
Angry for allowing that to happen.
I shouldn't have felt ashamed, I shouldn't have felt like I was looking or sounding too pretentious, because I wasn't.
Prentention means to act like something one is not.
And my inquiries and thoughts were and are genuine.
It was never to sound smart, not at all. I just..want to know.
That's what keeps me up at nights.
So why...why did I let it happen? To allow others to feel comfortable, rendering myself not?
That's the question..isn't

Synthesis
/ \
Thesis----Antithesis

Say Whuh?!

2008-02-08T01:41:00.000+09:00

What i'll be putting on my candygram:

"if i can't hit your g-spot, i might as well hit your sweet spot"
or
"If i can't hit your g-spot, I might as well hit ONE of your sweet spots"

and

"roses are red
my testicles are blue
stop being a bitch
cuz i really like you"

and now *drum roll please!*
a Korean attempting to pick me up via txt msging and his crappy phone translator:

"take the liberty of rudeness letter"

me: "who's this?!"

"I'm a korean
Do you have a honey?"

me: ......errr?
*gets a korean co-worker to help me*

*ah* the romance! just *swept* me off my feet!

of course, before all of that, when i was getting my phone activated,
he was already trying to hit on me by typing something on his phone and showing it to me

screen: beautiful, pretty, nice
*guy points to me..to him and then to me*
me: uhh....(thumbs up) thank you?

*guy types something in and shows screen*

screen: single, uncoupled, alone

me: uhh....no...anio (Korean for 'no')

*guy types something in and shows screen*

screen: sad, unhappy, down trodden
*points to self*

me: uhh....o...k.....
*walks away quickly*

the ego has landed? freud? jung? anyone?

2008-01-31T01:32:00.000+09:00

yeah...thinking now...observing...
it was an ego thing.
it was the potential and realization of failure...
and obligation.
damn the stubborness
damn the ego
and yet, the two keep me going..
higher and higher

ah to be Jung again

2008-01-30T22:53:00.000+09:00

At the moment i'm extremely peeved.
I received two complaints regarding 1. how i used a Korean phrase in the classroom which kind of meant "do you want to die?" (mainly used to say: stop doing that, i don't like it)
Despite having caught my kids saying that statement while in the midst of teaching the class about what 'idioms' were.
So i told the kiddies i knew what that meant and to not to use it...however since I was teaching about idioms, i said that to a foreigner, that sounded like an actual threat, instead of what it's really meant as "stop that"
but they knew it wasn't...and that was what an 'idiom' meant...
a phrase that means something but if taken literally, means entirely different...or incomprehensible.
But of course, i had kids, after leaving my class saying how cool i was for knowing that korean phrase...saying this infront of my boss...and then i get in trouble.
Basically i was spoken to, saying i should never use such a phrase in my class...
that teachers don't use that in their classrooms.
I was extremely peeved b/c they didn't know in what context that phrase was used.
They just automatically assumed i splurtted it out.
Of course, this complaint came after I was taken out of the middle of class by my supervisor informing me that my boss didn't like me playing scrabble with my class after their lesson was done...
b/c the boss didn't like it
and then later informed that a parent complained saying how their kid said that what they did in class all day was play scrabble.
peeved? just a tad.
but also, dammit, the things i have to teach is so little and i have to extend it into 2 lessons (nearly impossible)
My supervisor informed me that i should give more questions, debate, or make worksheets...
and in my head i'm thinking: "damnit, i don't even have enough time to do my daily paperwork, how the hell am i going to have enough time to make worksheets?!"
and as for debating...yeah...like that's gonna work...
i'm teaching kids that don't give a crap...
wonderful.
So now i gotta figure out what to do.
I'm thinking about teaching them how to write an essay...
that's right, make them kill the little fucker who complained to their mother.
I'm gonna make'em suffer...b/c i have to suffer lol.
Well, there's nothing else I can do,
i can't play games with them,
and scrabble was the most appropriate game, instead of pictionary and hangman
b/c it dealt with spelling and it was challenging...
so now I gotta add some other lesson to their usual one b/c there is no way I can stretch a very sparse lesson into 2 forty minute classes...
not with these kids, who are the top kids in the school.
So more writing it is...more stress and work for the kids and no games.

Blargh, alright, complaining is over.
I'm very happy for my brother.
Today, he informed me he passed his engineer credentials
very proud.

Also, today, Shella and I checked out the 2 local gyms near our place.
They both had the machines I used...so i'm tempted..
the closest gym to us..for 3 months, 120 bucks....
i dunno...i'm thinking about it.

This past weekend, i hanged with Lauren and went to a public bathroom,
also, went for a facial..it was gooood.
Felt mucho refreshed and relaxed..and I needed it.
This month and upcoming months have and will be BRUTAL.

I'm also somewhat being phone stalked by a korean boy trying to pick me up,
despite getting another korean to msg him informing him that I am taken/engaged.
*huzzah* another pseudo-engagement for moi!

*sigh* work has been rough and tomorrow will be my supervisor's last day (she's extremely pregnant)
I've somewhat met...or more of: observed, the new supervisor....i'm scared.
She doesn't seem too talkative (including speaking much of English),
and probably won't like my jokes..unlike my present supervisor who laughs and jokes around with me.
But, thank gawd Joey will be the head teacher...so at least i'll have someone on my side.

Alright, enough updating for now.
Really rough day and just want to spend some time with my special girl....and L

"I can't see anyone not liking you, seriously" - Shella
"I hope my daughter will be as smart as you....but not as sarcastic"- Fiona

[kid points to picture of the ugly duckling]: "you, teacher!"
"Why, YES, i AM a beautiful swan, thank you"
"Yes you are" says Mary.

"How can a Korean speak such English?!" - Amy, new supervisor not knowing that I am not Korean.

strangely aroused

2008-01-25T02:21:00.000+09:00

still up right now trying to finish writing up tests...
still have..3 more to go :*(
I'll be finishing it up this weekend..cuz there's no way i'm meeting the due date..
which was about.....3 hours ago haha.

many strange events have occurred these past few days
including my very pregnant supervisor saying that she hopes she gets a daughter as smart as me although not as sarcastic...
the guy who set up my new cellphone plan trying to pick me up
and text messaging me poorly translated pick up lines...
office drama and so forth that caused a very poisonous atmosphere that included a 6 year old asking a preschool teacher what "bullshit" meant....
although on a good note: i get more money (but sadly, that's the only good note)

One of my favourite and cutest student is leaving for China for four years tomorrow
and i'm extremely saddened.
She gave me a going away present which included very expensive foot and hand creams.
I was so shocked, that i actually offered and gave her a big hug
and Joey and I will be making a photo album for her by this evening...
*sigh* why do all the good ones leave...and all the crap ones stay?!
lol

Alright, so tired...but at least it's friday.
Hopefully i'll have time to post up everything and do a decent post.

I'm currently trying to make a comic-instruction leaflet on how to deal with an elephant in the room.
yup...
nites everyone,
i gotta shove L over so i can squeeze into my bed...
i really wish i had a bigger bed...like my good ol' queen sized one back in toronto.

By the way: the needy bitch opening has been taken, please apply for another position.
thank you.

What UT has taught me:

2008-01-20T02:18:00.000+09:00

To just give up and helplessly take it in the rear

My school currently has a new elementary teacher, one who has replaced Adam ( :*( )
Her name's Shella and she's from Australia.
Lauren and I have been playing tour guide for her for the past week...
Today, we took her to LotteMart (a large supermarket-department store)
During this trip, Shella noticed how many times ppl mistook me as Korean...
and I, having mastered the art of pretending I understood.
I've given up trying to clarify the misunderstanding...
and it just takes far too long and too much energy to continually explain to ppl that (and in this exact order):
1) I do not know Korean
2) I am Canadian
3) No, I am not Korean
4) Yes, I know i look Korean, but I'm not

I believe the count was about 8 ppl within that hour of shopping
that approached and spoke to me.
One in particular,
an old woman,
came up to me in the aisle and spoke to me in Korean...
this was an encounter in which i couldn't feign understanding
b/c she asked me a question...that will be..like for the most of me being here, will never know..
I had to say in my limited Korean that I did not know Korean
and that I am Canadian..
she said something to the likes of
"oh...hahaha..you look Korean, that is silly of you to not know..."
and walked away laughing
at the end of the aisle
(i forgot to add: she was using a cane)
She keeled over and started laughing WITH cane in hand
laughing at me..
probably thinking how retarded of a Canadian Korean I was.

But the fact that she keeled over
an old woman..
keeling over out of laughter from me..
hurt.
just a little.

But I suppose my day was done. My life's mission complete...
bringing happiness to someone...if not for a brief moment -_-""

Anyways, tonight, i made dinner for Lauren, Shella and I (I love entertaining)
After cleaning my entire apartment (thanks to Shella willingly taking Soph off of my hands for a little while),
and getting chlorine in my eyes (which burned for oh so long...well, at least i know it works)...
oh, and giving soph a shower with some nice smelling blueberry shampoo that I believe I will continue using on her.
The menu of the night was:
rice,
seaweed,
mussels (a pound purchased for $1.90 "what!??!") in a garlic, butter, and wine reduction,
bulgolgi,
and for dessert: chocolate fondue with strawberries and bananas.
After, we talked and watched the Nanny Diaries on my comp.

Not too shabby day.
Had a bunch accomplished...
although I failed to go to Uijeongbu to get a cell...
since I have decided to ditch my extremely broken cell phone and its annoying pay as you go plan (where I have to continually refill minutes every month or else it'd be cancelled...despite having a plenty on the damn thing)
and I shall be switching to another company that isn't as annoying...
boo...more money wasted.
but at least i'll be saving a bundle for not going to Malaysia/Thailand/Vietnam during the Lunar New Years (All airlines were booked full...or so high that i just couldn't justify paying for a trip that would be significantly cheaper had it not been one of Asia's biggest and most busiest holidays)...
so I suppose it's a good thing.
So I guess i'll be chilling at Seoul with my Xbox360, Soph and Shella during the Lunar New Years holiday coming up...
hopefully we'll get the chance to go and chill and a gimgilbang (a sauna place) during our holiday, cuz I want to check that out fo' sheezy.

I have lots of pictures to post up..
but alas, i've been quite busy these past few weeks...
and utterly exhausted from all the errands
but soon...soon...they shall be up!

brb

2008-01-15T00:26:00.000+09:00

RE:

2008-01-15T00:06:00.000+09:00

i suppose i was just tired of always being there..
when all i wanted was to be somewhere else but there.
does that make sense?

i was a reluctant participant of the whole thing.
I was merely filling in a position that needed filled...
or simply just doing it until a competent person came around.
But no one came
and i filled that void for such a long time that i became utterly miserable

So there, can't find me now.
can't depend on me anymore.

sarang hae yo, yeah yeah

2007-12-30T00:52:00.001+09:00

tonight, i'm making it a quiet night.
I've decided not to go out clubbing and chilling in the HK centre...
today's already been a tiring day with relatives and I kinda just want to reflect
and take everything in from my experience in HK.

While on the ferry from HK to Discovery Bay,
i looked at the island...and it made me remember my grandpa
and how that was his place..
how much i missed him
and how much i really love him.
My grandpa was the first person that really made me feel special
and that i mattered.
It's not that my parents did not love me when i was growing up.
But they were busy with their own shit and trying to keep things afloat.
And well...i will admit that my brother is probably more lovable and charming than me...so I can see how i could be hidden by his shadow.
So it makes me even more special for the fact that he noticed me
and actually saw something in me (despite having so many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren)
He cared about me and got out of his way to help me a lot of times...in secret too.
I'll be forever grateful to him.
And I guess as a way to repay him...i'm going to try to live along the lines where if he saw me, he would be proud.
I'm going to try to be a good person.
I'm going to try to be honourable.
I'm going to try....

I've created a few monologues in my head...
but..they're still seedlings and i'm just not going to showcase it here just yet..

pictures posted up here

Full picture gallery here

Putting the "Ho" in "Hong Kong"

2007-12-26T13:36:00.000+09:00

here i am...sitting on a 4 story patio,
having my brunch served by a full time maide...
overlooking the discovery bay, in the distance, disney land...a beautiful beach..
and eagles flying in the sky.
life. is. awesome.

I'm really loving hong kong..actually,
it's not quite hong kong since i'm quite far from the city...
which makes it even more awesome.

So far, i've been chillin' and filling my gullet with wonderful wonderful chinese food.
I've been consuming almost everything in sight that is of Chinese and childhood resemblance
and so far...all of it has been GREAT!
went a little shopping and will be doing more
prices? AWESOME!
bought a pair of jeans for 20 bucks cdn
what?!
lol

I'm feelin' a tad guilty right now because i have yet to call my relatives (who i don't think i've ever met)
but i will...soon...eventually..
it just means that when i do, i have to meet up with them in the city,
which i don't want to do b/c it's so damn busy and crowded.
And as many of you know:
i HATE crowded places...
too claustrophobic...too much shoving...b.o..rudeness...touching.. and so forth.

I'm having an amazing time
and i'm loving the company of eva,
b/c i know really do appreciate good company and good friends..
and...well..just the familiar..
Also, i discovered that my cantonese hasn't fully faded
and it's not as bad as my relatives have teased me about.
My understanding is actually above the level of an average CBC (Canadian born Chinese)
so...*yeee* SUCK IT! you blasted bastards who tease me!

Anyways, i'm gonna enjoy the rest of my day.
Happy belated x-mas...
or Happy Holidays to all!

Here are some pics of my HK trip so far..

Final note:
I think so far, my experience overall has been very humbling..
and grateful for the things and people that i do have...and extremely grateful for the things and people that i don't.

2007-12-21T21:09:00.000+09:00

Still at school right now.

Last night was amazing.

My co-workers and boss went out for dinner as an early Christmas party.

Yet again: unlimited food and drinks.

After, we went to a place right across from the restaurant we went to

and my bosses ordered expensive seafood...and bottomless drinks.

I was so stuffed....

and my co-workers were pretty smashed that we started to sing random songs out loud.

Finally, despite being 1am and having to go to work the next day,

we all went to a noraebang...where we sang our voices away till 2am....

plus unlimited drinks lol

We ended the night with a singing of "hey Jude"....

Did i tell you my bosses were with us throughout this entire time?

and that the majority of time, they coaxed us on? haha

*gawd* i really love my employers.

My bosses were smashed and so cute..

at the noraebang, my boss serenaded his wife (my other boss)

and they danced...very cute.

The wife started doing this cute dance and playing with my face....

take into account that she's usually very distant and conservative..and seemingly cold.

So it was a pretty interesting and fun atmosphere.

I had an awesome time.....although we may have celebrated our winter vacation a tad too early...

as today, many of my co-workers had hang overs lol

Obviously, i didn't b/c:

1. i didn't drink that much

2. i don't get drunk

3. i know my limit :P

I think that's what i like about hanging with my co-workers and bosses:

they know their alcohol limits and don't go insanely drunk that they start puking

or becoming a public nuisance...or embarassing.

They only reach a point where they're more talkative and open...

I like that.

Well, as i mentioned before: I'm still at school.

Why? i'm waiting for Sarah to get off work so we can go out to have dinner and a movie.

also, i'm really hoping Lauren will be alright.

She got really sick last night and the doctor scared her today be saying she had appendicitis...

which is SO not what it is because if it were, she would be in a lot of pain...

and probably not be able to move or speak, due to the pain.

But i'm still worried, b/c right now, she's at the emergency room (not that big of a deal here) with Joey and Mrs. Kim.

*crosses fingers* i really do hope she's okay.

As for me...i'm STOKED for Hong Kong! i'll be leaving Sunday

But i really need to clean my place (damn sophie)

B/c once i come back, I'll have a guest, a family friend, Carmen, housing with me for a week.

I'm excited since she's the closest thing to home I have right now..and i'm taking whatever I can.

I also need to buy a 'thank you' present for Eva's parents..for housing me at their place while i'm at HK.

Also have to do a whole bunch of errands....

and reserve a day to see some relatives i don't ever recall meeting, at HK (b/c i'm forced to by my parents).

So yeah...i have a LOT to do before i leave for HK...

i STILL haven't packed yet *eep*

whatever, it's X-mas holiday!!!

Pictures will eventually follow once i get the time to upload everything and post it.

I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday (yeah, i'm being PC about this) and Happy New Years!

This may be one of the best X-mas and new years i've ever had in my life...for now :)

Hey DJ, play my song!

2007-12-14T00:21:00.001+09:00

This is for you, baby..
i'm groovin' to this and thinkin' about you.

Kylie Minogue - All I See lyrics

"It's fried rice! You PLICK!"

2007-12-12T23:09:00.000+09:00

ooo..another update!!
just a few random photogs.
I have this thang with keepin' my bathroom extremely neat..clean..and hygenic.
So here's what i've been doing with my toilettries

look! it matches!
i love these knick knacks i've discovered over my shopping escapades.
Here, I can hang my cup, tongue scraper, razor, my toothbrush AND my toothpaste tube.
I <3

Here's a pic of some delicious food I had with lauren.
From left to right:
a bottle of cider (asian 7-up); an egg drop soup that is absolutely amazing..and i have yet to learn its name, the customary kimchi, Kimchi chun (kimchi pancake..SOOOO GOOOD), and finally, coke in its wonderful original packaging of it being in a glass bottle (you can definitely taste the difference...and it's AWESOME!).

Finally, here's a pic of my favourite spot near insadong.
It's a starbucks, 2nd floor..where i get to people watch and comfortably read and write.
It's great.

and that's it for now folks...some random pics can be found here

last words for tonight

2007-12-12T00:20:00.000+09:00

I forgot to mention:
if you can get your greasy little fingers on Kylie Minogue's new cd
DOOO EEEET!
it's hawt, fun, and definitely something to groove to.
Though all the songs on the CD are not cohesive..
there are a lot of great singles.
LOVIN' IT!

blorg blorg blorg

2007-12-11T23:29:00.000+09:00

The day immediately after i mentioned on my blog that i would be counting the days that my school doesn't put up my photo...
they call me out to take a pic of me and then a day later, put it up.
*pfft* 4 days...i shall have that ingrained in my mind...*glares* lol

It's so weird, despite being thousands of miles apart...and being 23..
i'm STILL being lectured by my mother.
this past saturday night, i webcammed with my mom
and she lectured me about..i dunno...breathing?
something that was obviously true.
And as usual, i just gave my bored look or watched t.v.
while reluctantly agreeing.

A follow up on my Matt meeting this saturday.
it was GREAT!
he looks skinnier and he brough me to myondong...
a place in Korea known for its fashion.
We had some amazing lunch..which was chicken and noodles
it was extremely spicy, despite specifically ordering for it not being spicy..
AND we decided to do something new for the both of us:
we went to a cafe shop with a fortune teller
and he told us our fortunes (with Matt translating for me...of course)

The fortune teller said a lot of things that really hit the mark.
My past relationships..and how my character and aspirations are.
I was surprised b/c what he told us was definitely not open for interpretation.
It was extremely specific.
There was one about relationships..
which totally depicts what has occurred in my past
and has sorta set a sturdy foundation of a decision i've been wavering upon.

Another thing is that he said i had a high ego
and would never be satisfied.
Once he said that..i thought: *oh gawd* not another lecture about my big ego,
and restlessness
however! he followed it with very positive messages.
He indicated that because of my big ego, i'll be rising high in my career...
although i'll never be satisfied everytime i reach an extremely high position.

I don't mind that at all.
Sure, i'm restless....but i'm kind of living by a saying a wise person said..from where? i do not know, but it was a long time ago and it just..well...stuck:
When an artist finishes a painting and says that it's his best work,
then he should just quit and not paint anymore..
because there's nothing else to do.
That was his best and nothing can surpass the best.

I don't think i ever want to stop.
And when I do..it'll be when i die.
I want to keep on improving and changing and doing something in life.
Contentness=no progress.

Speaking of death..he said i'd die around my 90s....
yeah....i don't plan on living that long
c'maaan euthanasia!
lol

There many other interesting (and extremely bone chilling) revelations said by the fortune teller...
but i take it with a grain of skepticism...
a minute hopes of it being false
and also a big chunk of knowing when not to reveal all my cards.
So there was much more..but that's all i'm going to reveal for now.

Lastly, last week, I scared the shit out of one of my classes
and made one non fragile student go into tears.
No, i did not threaten to strip infront of them XP
but i was so peeved that he had made my partner korean teacher upset and wanting to quit..
and was doing the same trick on me that I just had a "talk" with him infront of the entire class.
My eyes stared him and the other offending parties down..
and my voice went an octave lower...with a hint of rage.
The entire atmosphere of the class changed....
it was AWESOME!
I dislike it when my cool korean partner teachers are bothered by students,
and I especially will not allow any student taking advantage of my laidback, attempts to make class fun ways...
so they felt the wrath of the HO!
MWAHAHAHHAAHAHA!!

I apologize for not updating as much as i should,
but errands have taken up my life at the moment...
something about writing too many x-mas cards,
taking advantage of my dog not being at home to wash the floors...
and succumbing to lethargy.
I'm extremely excited for my upcoming trip to HK.
I'm stoked to go to a place where I at least know the majority of what people are saying...
and seeing familiar faces e.g. Eva!!
woot!
aaaaand....CHINESE FOOD!!! *drools*
so another time

Whether I fall

2007-12-05T02:08:00.001+09:00

I'm loving this song

I love her voice (i dislike this amateur video..but just listen to the song)

today, i had dinner with joey, jiny and lauren.
It was great, lots of good convo.
After, we went to a Hof and had some cool traditional korean drinking snacks and so forth.
We plan on going to a beijing tour during the korean new years vacation
*woot**woot*
I'm really lovin' my co-workers (well..the elementary school ones, anyways)
it seems really niche...but what can you do.

I picked up my sunglasses today, it's awesome.
Joey forced me to show it off to my bosses, supervisor and the other co-workers.
So i did, with a cheesy smile and the double finger guns.
After, my korean boss said i was a "poonsu"
meaning: a cute jokester..or something to that like.
:)
I'm glad my bosses like me...
although i'm still peeved that they have yet to post my pic on the "Thank you teachers" wall.
4 days...4 days... i'm counting how long they will post up my pic
that's right...i'm building a grudge XP

Sometimes I wish there was a contrapment that hooked up to my mind and recorded everything I thought.
The thing is, I think a lot about what i want to write..but sadly, my mind goes faster than my fingers can write/type.
It gets frustrating...and I do always have quality stuff that i concoct in my mind...
but just never the time or means to jot it down :(
*sigh* d'ah well.

I'm so exhausted now and the sophster's with me now.
So it's time for our bedtime.
i hope everybody's doing good, despite the snowstorm back at home.
I apologize for not speaking to many of you, but i have and will be busy for the next few days...
aaaaand...i'll finally be seeing Matt, my ex tutoree from Korea this saturday!
*Excited*
i haven't seen him for...2 or 3 years?
insane.

pic(k)s

2007-12-03T01:15:00.001+09:00

here's some pics, as promised.
I decided to be kind to my slower connected/computered friends
and have made an account with LJ solely for my pics and its lovely rich cut option

http://sucklingpigpics.livejournal.com/

Here's some direct links to it:
Sophie pics with her new do...*Sigh*
http://sucklingpigpics.livejournal.com/762.html#cutid1

and here's some school pics i took
http://sucklingpigpics.livejournal.com/836.html#cutid1

pics of my mountain hike and snowboarding shall be coming up soon...

fun in the....sun (?)

2007-12-02T02:35:00.001+09:00

This past weekend has been pretty awesome.
the first package my parents sent me FINALLY came...so that means...
i am well supported....
by BRAS!!!
WOOOOT!!!
Also, last weekend, i finally bought my parent's x-mas present
and i FINALLY bought a camera for myself....
an awesome camera.
However, I still have yet to pick up my laptop from ange,
so you'll just have to wait for pics in due time.
One awesome thing that happened was that last night, immediately after work,
I went to learn snowboarding with my korean co-worker, joey.
We skiied till 5am...and i eventually came back home at around 7:45am.
It was insanely cheap...basically cost me $40 for rentals and ski lifts.
It was really weird....you can rent a snowboarding/ski suit too!
lol ridiculous
another ridiculous thing is that i picked up how to snowboard after 1 1/2 runs down the hill.
yup, that;s right! in about 2 hours, i picked up how to snowboard (not well, mind you..but i did)
*ah* stubborness...the times when you are of assistance to me.
Joey's friends, who were trying to teach me how to snowboard despite not knowing how to speak English,
was duely impressed and teased Joey about me being better than her, despite it being her 2nd time snowboarding..and it being my first.
It was an amazing experience! and Joey's bf hooked me up with some sweet schwag..
like a van dutch toque and some warm gloves (he's a retail supplier).

Another thing that happened this past week was that the damn dog wrecked my glasses :(
she scratched up my lenses and my frame...
so I had to go to the glasses place with joey in tow to translate and haggle for me.
In the end, I decided to just keep my frame with new lenses (i like my frame...it's versace lol)
aaaaand...i got prescriptioned giorgio armani sunglasses!! YEEEEE!!!
both together cost? 150$
BOOYAH!!
thaaaank-you korea!!
I shall be getting my sunglasses this coming tuesday..and i'm so stoked.

So as you can pretty much figure...it's been an extremely expensive past week with everything...
but i'm happy
and in the end, that's all that matters.

aites, time to enjoy the absolute ridiculousness of "the 40 year old virgin" on tv.

pictures shall come soon, hopefully tomorrow.

i want a hango oh mah too :(

2007-11-25T00:38:00.000+09:00

damnit, wish i had a korean sugar momma too

today, i went mountain hiking-climbing with my boss, his friends, lauren, and her friend, melissa.
It was awesome and a definite change from my other weekends.
We went onto sampeon-san; an easy mountain that's next to dobongsan.
I was definitely not prepared.
I had my timbaland boot...a roots toque...mitts..and my snowboarding jacket...
i was both overdressed and underdressed -_-""

I was DYING going up the ascent.
and my boss' friend, who's also my school's building manager was pawing over me..
and kept on tricking me to go to the more difficult route with him...
which i naively did..
but i did enjoy it b/c i got to mountain climb.
The view was AMAZING and pictures will come up soon once i receive them from my boss.
Also, the descent was great and i wasn't tired at all,
in comparison to my fellow hikers.
The hike took about....4-5 hours.
During the ascent, melissa and i had to pass out on this flat rock,
to the amusement of a korean lady who was resting on the rock.
I literally fell to my back and did not want to get up...telling my fellow climbers to go one without me.
The poor lady was cracking up and saying something in korean..to the likes of:
oh you poor, unhealthy thing. I am amused by your sufferings.
lol (sometimes it's more fun to not know what ppl are saying to you)

During our descent, near the end, we went to this family restaurant that gave us a table right by the mountain stream.
It was amazing.
We had fresh chicken (and i mean FRESH! we picked out the live chicken lol) soup
with rice.
OMG! SOOOO GOOOOD.
it was GREAT!
and i'm definitely going to do it again.
....hopefully with the appropriate equipment.
ALthough the weather today was amazing because it's the beginning of winter...
therefore, no bugs and not too hot and not too cold (for a Canadian)
so in the end, i just hiked with my long sleeved shirt and pants most of the way.
With the occasional putting on my thin coat.
I also love my boss.
During my welcome dinner, my boss and his wife informed all of us that my boss wasn't allowed to smoke
and if we caught him, to take a picture of him and show it to his wife.
Once she left, he informed us that he'll pay 50 dollars for each picture we take of him (and to erase it)
so...i took the opportunity today to take the picture...
as he ran away.
hahaha so funny.
for the rest of the trip, he tried to make a deal with me and to promise him not to show his wife.
hahaha.
so i eventually agreed to erase it for a free dinner (i was just joking anyways)

Also, last night, lauren and i went for some pizza at our neighbourhood pizza place that is a 1 minute walk away from our building.
The pizza guy knows me.
Everytime i walk by, he always says 'hi' to me and if i don't go there for awhile, he probably says in korean that he hasn't seen me for awhile.
Anyways, we ate at the pizza place and there was a tv there.
We decided to change the channels to an Englishchannel (Chicago)
despite being the only English speakers there.
I put the volume really low so that it wouldn't bother anyone.
Later on, the pizza guy turned up the volume up for us b/c he knew we couldn't hear it.
It's so awesome, to have these ppl to be cool with us and be kind.
I'm loving my experience here.
And i think i've become a mountain hiking-climbing fan.
I might go mountain climbing soon...
so stoked.

ANways, tomorrow will be a busy day for me.
I gotta go and pay for my flight ticket for x-mas...
go to yongsan to buy my parents their x-mas present (and maybe get my own..if i can get a good deal...
and i still have to make a test for monday.
Gonna be an expensive and exhausting day.

i hope everyone's having a good day
and i will hopefuly be able to write and send some x-mas cards...
cuz i purchased some awesome and cute holiday cards these past few days.
:)

ho say "whuh?!"

2007-11-22T01:27:00.000+09:00

yesterday, I took my pup to the vet...
and to my surprise, they said that they would shave her down.
WHen i returned, I was in shock!
They gave my dog a very asian dog hairstyle...with BOWS on her EARS!!
BOWS!!!
I loved how my dog looked before...
how she resembled an ewok
it was awesome...
but now...she's so.....GIRLY!
it's gonna take some time to get used to
Although she DOES smell much better.

Anyways, I'm trying to avoid office politics as much as possible.
I dislike politics
and thank gawd I don't understand the majority of what they're saying (them speaking korean, that is)
that I can just assume that everything is fine.
Whether it is or not (which is most likely not), I won't know for sure or exactly what.
*ah* ignorance! how i've missed you!

I've finally received package from my family.
It being the 2nd package they've sent me...and it being the first package i've received.
So you do the math.
I'm concerned about the 1st unarrived package because it has some important things i need in it...
i.e. closet organizers and...well...bras.
Really sucks that it's not here yet.
But i'm stoked that i finally did receive a package...or even mail from Canada.
My dad put in some cool snacks and goodies.
I e-mailed my parents immediately after I received the box at work
and my dad responded with the cutest of smug responses:
"You know I know the best!"
oh dad...

It's going to be a full few days ahead of me.
Alotta things happening including going back to Insadong to get my watch batteries in....
mountain hiking with the bosses...
and hopefully having enough time to go to yongsan so I can get a camera for the folks...
and perhaps dongdaemun to get some shoes and a good knock off purse for my mom....
and also a sweater for my now semi-nude dog.
yes, that's right...i've become one of THOSE people.
But i can't help it, these things are so cheap here and have so many designs...
and 2 days ago, it SNOWED!
SNOWW!!!! i was so happy.
it's finally feeling like it's winter
although i'm still wearing my hoodie w/o a winter jacket
cuz dude...i came from Canada, this is *nothing*
(well, it IS something...it dipped to zero degrees celsius...but that's NOTHING!)
also...my jacket's at the dry cleaners (6 bucks! woot!) so i don't really have a choice.

Alright, enough of this entry.
I gotta eventually wake up tomorrow, although it'll be an easy day...
cuz it's my FAVOURITE time of the month!!
*dum dum DUUUUUUM*
TEST DAY!!
which means: handing out tests and doing crosswords/wordsearches/suduku while those poor poor children stress over their tests....
oh..and eventually marking them (which takes so little time for me)
Now I know why my teachers loved giving out tests.
Although at times, it is a tad depressing b/c some of my classes nearly fail the tests,
but it's not due to my inadequacies as a teacher
but b/c they're terrible students!
My other classes who i get along with: EXCELLING!
the terrible ones?!
to HELL!

alright... time to go to bed before the sophster wakes me up

finalement

2007-11-18T23:13:00.000+09:00

i apologize for the delayed post.
It seems i've been quite busy and reluctant to post.
In the past week, i've yet again, gotten suckered into going to another "Asian night out" bar/clubbing for Erin's belated b-day celebration.
We went to Hongdae.
I got a sexual proposition by some guy from India
and had to feign being engaged to a man in Canada.
With the help of Marie, the story was complete.
I really didn't want to go that night.
I was actually contemplating ditching the group of people and taking the subway home at around 11pm.
But...it was Erin's celebration and the consequences of my actions would be that Erin and Ange would be peeved.
So i followed...with Erin's korean co-worker in tow, Tee.
She glued herself to me due to the mutual yellow-asian skin.
Despite her being in her...30s.... Both her and I agreed that these type of things were not our "thang" and that we were just too old for this crap...
as we watched sad and desperate attempts of ppl trying to pick other ppl up..and public drunkeness.
At 2am, i REALLY wanted to leave and contemplated taking the taxi back home...
due to the crap music being played...
the terrible sight of desperation and drunkens..
and the need for room and space (being in crowded clubs/bars),
which caused me to just hang outside of the club w/ Tee for a good hour or 2.
I should have left with Jemz and Natalie,
I could've been sharing a posh hotel room with them...
*damn* me.
Anyways, at around 3am ish...the gals were tired of the crap club
and we all decided to go to a noraebong (a karoake place) to sing out our energies until the subway opened (5:30am)
and so we did.
It was great!
and i was amazed by the large selection of good English songs there were.
I eventually lost my voice and could not sing.
So I became the designated song chooser.

I alo enjoyed the complimentary jangles they gave us.
At 5:30am, we headed off.
Poor Ange was going to collapse, so Ange, Erin, Tee and I decided to just split a Taxi.
I was the last person to be dropped off...
and Tee, Ange and I found out from the Taxi driver that he did not know where my stop was....so I said "screw it", due to pure exhaustion,
and stayed at Ange' place for the night.
It's weird, I haven't shared a singles' bed with another person for awhile.
And yet again, I share the bed with a person who hogs the damn blankets.

Anyways, these past 2 weeks, i've been getting quite frustrated with some of my co-workers,
especially the English Speakers.
Mostly b/c i know they dislike me, due to my eccentricity and just trying to make things around less dreary...
and b/c they're bitter and homesick.
But i really don't think they should take it out on me.
It seems the many ppl who are homesick tend to take it out on innocent victims.
And I think that's utterly childish.

Speaking of childish:
Despite the many who are older than me (age-wise)
somehow, i'm still the more mature one.
despite my periodic immaturity (e.g. sexual innuendo).
Sure, i may talk the talk..but i definitely do not act utterly inappropriate.
I also don;t outright offend an entire culture,
just b/c they're different from the culture one is originally from.

These things are just getting to me.
And it's embarassing and causes me to lose respect for these people.

Either way, i'm still happy I chose to come to Korea,
I'm enjoying my financial freedom.
Even today when I woke up and was in my sleepy daze...
i realized:
I'm in Korea! This singles apartment is mine!
and happiness and freedom just crashed upon me.
I just had to have the biggest smile on my face.

Another thing that make me excited is my Hong Kong trip coming soon...
and a possibility that Eva might be coming to Korea for 3-12months next year.
I'd be extremely happy if she did.
I'll have someone who i could really connect with and go shopping with.
In addition, we've been talking about me joining her in China after my Korea stint.
And i definitely would not mind.
I should try to pick up some of my mother tongue.
And it'd be a new experience.
Hell, I have nothing really that concrete waiting for me in Canada.
I can't get a decent job and decent pay...
although i really do miss my collection of friends.

I've weeded out all the crap people and have found wonderful, priceless friends that i can connect with.
and now, being here...i gotta start all over again.
I think that's something that sometimes gets me down:
to have to start all over again with finding quality people to hang with...
and who have the essential quality and traits I need to have a decent friendship.
But I know the friends that i have at home are still there.
And that they do exist.
I know i'll be seeing them again
and I know they understand that my travelling is something that I need.
Even my family understands this.

So there you have it...
hopefully i'll get a camera soon...
so i can post hundreds of pictures on here.
But until then, I will attempt to post more regularly.
Quality posts are not guaranteed

home

2007-11-07T23:19:00.000+09:00

currently, i'm watching a program on the discovery channel regarding the JFK assassination.
*ah* brings back memories of my last year of uni
about conspiracy theories..focussing on the JFK assassination conspiracy theories.

Anyways, this past weekend, i finally said some bittersweet words
that i didn't want to say out loud, but I did..b/c it slipped..but:
"I won't be home anytime soon"

It still puts a lil' pang on the ole heart..
but a sense of freedom and happiness as well.
To be honest: I don't know when i will be back in Toronto.
There really is no good reason to go back and to settle.
And i just don't like settling..
especially when i'm no longer shackled down.
I love living out on my own.

To the many who know me and have witnessed the disaster of my room:
My place is immaculately clean.
That's right!
I'm a clean person.
Back in Toronto, my helplessness exuded through how i kept my room.
I just didn't care and i gave up.
But here, i actually care.
I actually care how i live and what i eat.
I care.
And that is something.

One more note:
I am ABSOLUTELY not fit to teach children.
I'm just too easy going and laid back
I just don't care.
Some kid swore?
"What did he/she say? *woah* that was a good one. How do you say it again?"
"He pushed you? so? push him back then, I don't care"

And to teach children (and even puppies...) i would have to be very strict and consistent w/ my punishment,
and i'm not.
I think i can only really get along with a living being that has fully established its own sense of being.
A finished product.

I'll have to keep that in mind.
For future use.

Now I Know why I'm so attracted to this

2007-11-05T22:17:00.000+09:00

Artist: Robin Thicke
Song: The Stupid Things

Lyrics :

Just charge it to my account
I hope I haven't gone over my limit
With interest rates so swift
No need to scream and shout
No doubt if women are from Venus now
I'll get to them somehow

All I want to do is please you
Please myself by living my life too

And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on How I feel about you
How I feel about you
All the stupid things I do have absolutely no reflection on
How I feel about you
How I feel about you yeah

Oh yes I recall
Skipping on breakfast to play basketball
Then feeling two feet small
Sometimes you read like William Shakes
Your scent is sweet like Betty Crooker bakes
I'd love to have your cake and eat it too

All I want to do is please you
Please myself by living my life too

And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on How I feel about you
How I feel about
All the stupid things I do have absolutely no reflection on
How I feel about you
How I feel about you yeah

And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on How I feel about you
How I feel about
Oh how I feel about you
How I feel about you yeah

music soothes my soul

2007-11-04T01:20:00.000+09:00

I wanted to write an entry,
to inform about my week...
how i informed my mother that I have a pet dog...
about halloween..
about how much i missed the good ol' Church st. halloween party...
about people who are not unnerved by my eccentricity...
and about my thoughts on why perhaps i tend to disappear...
but at the moment, I just want to share this song...
To my surprise, hedwig and the angry inch was playing on t.v.
but then i realized: korea has been, so far, the only place where i've seen so many men in dresses...more than pride.

I've been humming to this tune ever since.

hyphenated-reality

2007-10-30T23:52:00.000+09:00

that word has been constantly running through my head
thoughout my time in Korea.

How is it that wherever I go,
I have to constantly prove
either my asian-ness
or my western-ness

in Canada,
to the Asians, I had to prove how more Chinese I was
and to my employers and collegues, my North American liberalness..

And now, in Korea,
I have to constantly prove how North American I am.

Currently, at my school,
I am constantly on edge...
having to prove how Western I am...
having to hide my Chinese roots..
and constantly in fear that my students would drop,
simply b/c my skin is yellow.
Despite my level of English and abilities as a teacher,
I will lose my school's business b/c of my skin...
in an Asian country...

It's unavoidable, isn't?
yes, I am Chinese
yes, I am Canadian
and here, the hyphen resides:
Chinese-Canadian.
Thank you Wayson Choy.

I live in a hyphenated reality.
My skin tells the world that I am of an Asian descent
My way of thought and way of communication, North American.
And yet my practices, perspective...is the mixture of those two worlds.
Why is it that the societies that i reside in must always make a distinction between the two?
That I must either be Chinese OR Canadian.

Right now, I have to be Canadian
and I must hide my Chinese roots.
Sure, I can hardly speak any Cantonese...
but I grew up with a strong Chinese influence (food, traditions)
but I also grew up in Canada... with its own traditions.
Can they not work together?
Can't I show the world both without having to overcompensate one over the other?

Yes, it's true a Chinese perspective is different from a Canadian one...
but it works
the hybrid of the two exists and does not contradict one another.
I know, because I am that hybrid.

And now, this hybrid is at risk of losing a job
b/c a society deems her not good enough to teach English
b/c of her skin.
Despite having a greater grasp of English than the rest of her other co-workers.

so that's what's on my mind as of late.
Sure, things happened throughout the week
but i prefer writing this down.
b/c it's been bugging me.

Right now, i'm really feelin' and playing on constant loop:
Apologize - Timbaland ft One Republic

just a number

2007-10-21T16:57:00.000+09:00

after last night's escapades...
it has solidified my thoughts of myself about
just being too old for all of these late night parties.

i can do with the gambling....
and i can even do with the clubbing...
but i can't do this to my body anymore.
And the club scene really isn't for me,
except just to hang with friends.
Sure, getting random strangers attempting to pick you up
and telling you you're hot
or making out with ex-models just for the sake of it
feeds the self-esteem/ego
but...that really doesn't do it for me.
despite being 23, and technically still "young" or a "baby"
to my co-workers and peers,
i know who i am,
i know what i want..
and i can distinguish the difference between a superficial appreciation and a quality appreciation.
the latter is what i want.
and the former is the one that i just brush off my shoulder or just to simply nod to.

Besides, i don't think i'd really want to meet anyone under those conditions.
just not something i'm looking for when i'm in there.
i just want to have a good time w/ friends.

i know i am young, age-wise
and i can act like a kid most of the time....
but deep down inside,
i'm older than the ones who are three or four times my age.
Life may bring people experiences and knowledge,
but until you actually use it and apply it to your life,
one will never attain wisdom and growth.

I guess i should be thankful for the crap that i had to go through
in order for me to get a grasp on different perspectives
and knowledge.

Final note?
know what your limit is and when to say "that's enough"

as promised:

2007-10-17T23:46:00.000+09:00

pics!
at the 63 building's crappy sea world.
I couldn't help but do this...for the sex ed. counsellor in me.
..and the konglish
haha

at a korean Lush! (yeah, i'm as surprised as you are)
with...KONGliSh!!!
the koreans have a tendency to switch 'l's and 'r's...
mostly because of their language's switching of the two.

here's me terrified as we got to the fireworks grounds an hour early...
a sea of koreans...
possibility of losing me in this sea of asians?
and me getting lost with the inability to communicate that i'm lost?
99.5%

here's my russian whor...err...i mean...Angela and I waiting in line to get up to the observatory.

here's us being goofs..
with the photo ops section.
it's suppose to look like we're climbing up the 63 building

here's me taking the last parachute as erin falls to her bloody death
bwahahhahaha!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaand...here's my msn pic currently:

Korea: where you can have your dog and eat it too

2007-10-17T00:43:00.000+09:00

this past saturday,
i went w/ a group of comrades to the 63 building (Korea's tallest building)
and to check out the international fireworks competition.
the 63 building was *meh* but the photo ops were absolutely hilarious.
(which shall be posted soon)
As for the fireworks?!
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!
and i've seen many fireworks in my days...
but these were absolutely ridiculous,
and like in Korean fashion:
absolutely over the top, unnecessary, but visually pleasing.
I was extremely satisfied and in awe.

Also, during the fireworks display,
the realization that:
"Gawd, i'm in Korea! i'm REALLY in Korea! on my own!"
had hit me.
and i felt so humbled.

Another humbling thing that occurred was that on monday...
I GOT PAID!!
WOOT!
working for about a month and a half...
with the 500 000 won advance...
i wanted to dance in my bank when i checked my balance..
but when i was in mid breakout dance.. an old lady was staring at me,
so i quickly walked away
with the biggest smile on my face.
i can't believe how decently paid we are here, based on our benefits,
the type of work we do...
and the living expenses..
it's absolutely insane.

today, while walking the sophster,
i had an interesting...encounter...
which now leaves me to come up with a decision
before i receive a certain call.
and lemmie tell you:
i'm EXTREMELY tempted..

talkin' and drinkin' with the SLP crew

2007-10-13T00:34:00.000+09:00

I just returned from an AMAZING night...
with my bosses and the pre-middle schooler teachers.
Tonight, our bosses took us out for dinner and drinks as a belated welcome party for the new teachers for the night crew.
I was one of those welcomees.
We had amazing fresh seafood (and i mean: AMAZING)
i tried some of the different seafoods i saw at busan..
and i tried the soju that's fermented in a bamboo..
which tastes like an apple flavoured vodka...
and it went down smooth
I was very impressed.

But we had awesome conversations...
and my bosses are amazing and are absolutely entertained by me
and how i interact with many of the teachers.
It was great.
I got to learn a lot about my bosses and my co-workers...
and had fun too.
Even before we went for dinner,
lauren, adam, sunny and I finished early before the other teachers,
so we took out a game of scrabble.
fun stuff.
My supervisor was going to join us, but she thought she would have a great disadvantage against us foreigners (with the exception of sunny).

It was a great day.
and seeing my bosses smashed was insanely entertaining.
And the food and drinks just kept on coming.
It was like an endless stream of seafood, soju and beer.

I'm loving my employment,
and it seems (to my relief) that my bosses are cool with me.

I'll even be hiking with my bosses and a few of my co-workers next saturday on one of the thousands of mountain in Korea.
....i'm screwed
lol

alright, time to do some late night laundry.

the brighter side

2007-10-12T00:00:00.000+09:00

it's not that i'm lazy about blogging...
it's more of: i'm too busy enjoying what i'm doing...
or, i'm going to work and there's really nothing much to talk about.

however, I do have something to write now.
This past monday,
I was at my kindergarten class teaching science..
now usually, i hate these classes b/c the science projects i'm teaching
are way over the children's heads...
i have to take care of 12 screaming pre-schoolers that speak an entirely different language...
and i have to do their individual science experiments all at the same time as the rest continue to scream and whine
"help me teacher, why aren't you helping me?!"

But at the beginning of this kindergarten class...
the cutest little korean girl grabbed my arm
(mind you, many korean kids grab onto you...i have been sexually molested by many of them continuously...)
she patted my arm...
and then kissed it.
She then backed away with the most innocent of eyes.

I think i just melted when that happened and brightened up my day.
That was the most innocent thing I think i have ever experienced.
the act of well...appreciation with no strings attached.
and it just occurred out of nowhere,
since i just entered the class with an armful of science materials.
And that very scene has just been playing in my mind for the past few days.
b/c it's rare that i receive such...honest affections.

Anyways,
despite being in Korea, I still celebrated Canadian thanksgiving.
I got hooked up with a 20 lbs bird called "turkey'
and paid 20 bucks for it
*score*
However, I was given the task to cook the turkey...
in a small convection oven...it took about seven to eight hours to reach the end result:

now imagine you trying to cram a massive 20 lbs turkey into a small-sized convection oven...
cuz lemmie tell you...i didn't have to.
I had to cut the ribs open and smash it into the turkey,
take off the wings and legs in order to fit that damn thing in.
It was a 2 1/2 hour wrestle, to the amusement of my co-worker.
But it was no lighter..since I had stuffed the turkey with various vegetables.
In the end, the end product, I must say..was not too shabby:
the turkey with the gravy (all homemade with the very limited ingredients i had)

and the rest of the spread:

here are the ppl who feasted (without erin, since she was taking the pic)
do mind my scrabby look since I had less than 5 hours of sleep
and for the most of the day was cooking a massive turkey,
sweating, cleaning, and hauling that mo' fo' to and fro

As for my trip to the traditional Korea village this past saturday...
here are a few pics:

me trying to work the ancient grinder...
and apparently "failing epically" (by erin)

foraging for some food...cuz as always: "so hungeee"

sneaking into a field of some crop for a photo op

Aaaaaaaand getting punished accordingly for trespassing, korean style

Also, there was an international museum at that place
and lemmie tell you:
it was like they went to the cheapest souvenir shops all over the world
and just put them on display.
It was hilarious and scary at the same time.
Since it was mixed with racist and just utterly incorrect.
hell! they even got China wrong!

alright, time to go to bed.
i would love to receive mail from people *hint**hint*

sometimes i surprise myself:

2007-10-09T12:08:00.000+09:00

ho - is missing her moobs and the things attached to them says:
you're the date that craps

ho - is missing her moobs and the things attached to them says:
but not the crap date

Derek - CONGRATULATIONS!!! (you moron) says:
lol

Derek - CONGRATULATIONS!!! (you moron) says:
um

Derek - CONGRATULATIONS!!! (you moron) says:
what's the difference

ho - is missing her moobs and the things attached to them says:
the date that craps merely has to go to the washroom once in a while....

ho - is missing her moobs and the things attached to them says:
while the crap date makes me want to be in the washroom all the time

Derek - CONGRATULATIONS!!! (you moron) says:
LOL

Derek - CONGRATULATIONS!!! (you moron) says:
i see

Derek - CONGRATULATIONS!!! (you moron) says:
subtle but big difference

ho - is missing her moobs and the things attached to them says:
indeed

a revised Nat King Cole song

2007-10-07T02:51:00.000+09:00

forgettable.
a bittersweet realization.
sweet b/c the evidence and regrets, lost.
bitter b/c my worth to you, revealed.

today i went to Suwon with Erin and met up with a new girl from England, Marie.
Cool time.
Went to the korean traditional village...
not bad, but it was too commercialized..kinda like Pioneer Village back at home.
I prefer Busan better.

Erin forced me on a rollercoaster-like ride.
Throughout the entire time, I grabbed onto her yelling:
I HATE YOU SO MUCH, ERIN! I HATE YOOOU
as my bowels and organs flew up and down within my body

went back to my area and helped find and move a new couch for Erin
*woot* free stuff.
It was an amazing modern couch..and essentially in mint condition.

Also, Lauren hooked us up with a 20lbs turkey....for 20 bucks!
we'll be having our own little canadian thanksgiving over here...
and why not.

i should go to bed asap.
I'll be waking up at 8am to start cooking a 20 lbs turkey
:*(
pray for leash

Lessons Learned:

2007-10-06T10:10:00.000+09:00

don't cook bacon and eggs.....

when you're semi-nude.

excuse me as i medicate my 2nd degree burns
all over my.....
well, too much information (in public, that is)

serenity prayer

2007-10-03T21:45:00.000+09:00

after hearing this song from a LeAnn Rimes' concert,
I fell in love with this song.
Of course I could only get it...4 months later :(
but it's finally out.
It's off of her new album "Family"
and..well...i absolutely adore it
b/c it's essentially a musical version of a prayer that i try to live by.

What I Cannot Change
LeAnn Rimes

I know what makes me comfortable
and to know what makes me tick
And when I need to get my way
I know how to pour it on thick
Cream and sugar in my coffee
Right away when I awake
I face the day, and pray to God
I won’t make the same mistakes

All the rest is out of my hands
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, yeah I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

Yeah I don’t know my father
Or my mother well enough
It seems like every time we talk
We can’t get passed the little stuff
The pain is self-inflicted
I know it’s not good for my health
But it’s easier to please the world
Than it is to please myself

All the rest is out of my hands
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, yeah I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

Well I know I can’t care about how everyone else really feels
I have enough hurt of my own to heal

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, yeah I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

i love options

2007-10-03T20:47:00.000+09:00

hmmm....a year in shanghai/beijing to teach and/or to study?!
mmmmm......i love options
and i love how i can just get up and leave.

also, a vacation with fatman to anywhere around the world?!
w/ free hotel stay?!
*awesome*
i love my life.
seriously.

fishing self

2007-10-02T01:03:00.000+09:00

it's interesting how people can easily lose themselves.
i know i've fallen victim to that,
but not for awhile...a long while
and i'm glad of that.
Of course, I have suffered much for swimming against the powerful waves of conformity
but at least i don't have to suffer from those awful moments of realization and regret of actions made out of character.

And we all know: I have character

of course there have been those terrible moments when i've been torn
about how easy it would be just to follow the crowd
or to just follow whatever direction the wind blows....
but then...i would lose myself
and i've worked so hard to be...well...myself
or to even reach a point of knowing and feeling comfortable with myself.
Hence, despite being in a conservative atmosphere...
i'm really not going to hide myself.
I haven't and the people have accepted me that way.
It's not just b/c of my unique character...but it's also b/c my co-workers and peers know that how I act is completely honest
they know i'm not faking or hiding who i am.
I just..well...am.
And they can't really shun me for being...well...me.
You can't get mad at a person who's being entirely honest about themselves to you.
It's not a deception,
so how can you be mad at a person who has no intention and has not decieved you?
you just can't!

Anyways, that's just something that i wanted to write.
On another note, I've been asked if i wanted to continue being a teacher...perhaps as a long time thing.
My answer?
HELLS NO!
at the moment, i am utterly uninspired as a teacher.
Majority of the time, i feel like smacking a few of the kids.
I also don't think i would ever be enthused about teaching children or any individuals that are the likes of the people i'm currently teaching.
Also, the paperwork is extremely tedious and a plenty.
It's sad that the best part of my work would probably be editting my co-worker's works or the journals the children are assigned to write.
But then...this does beat being a filing girl, a physiotherapist's assistant...or a factory worker (and i should know, since i've had said occupations in my past)
And i'm just enjoying the perks of being here.
Including the many paid holidays...and the many holidays, in general
*huzzah* to asia and their numerous holidays, in comparison to the frugal north americans!

i'll end this entry now.
there were a few things i wanted to put down here...
but it's not fully thought out.

sophie says "hello, my lovely audience. Come and play with me!"
*gawd* she's such a whore.
lol

i'm not ready for my close-up mr. deville

2007-09-30T00:51:00.000+09:00

de fine

2007-09-29T22:53:00.000+09:00

"...you still defended her without question. That's loyalty if I've ever seen it"
- Dominic Deegan

Well dominic, you've never seen loyalty,
because that's not loyalty, you idiot.
Loyalty means having the ability to stand by a decision or person
and having the ability and willingness to continue with the spirit of the action or decision when the original actors deviate.

loyalty does not mean losing your autonomy or blindly following
that, my friend, would be stupidity, and not loyalty.

A Retarded Entry

2007-09-26T22:31:00.000+09:00

Hey everyone,
I've finally returned from Chuseok (Autumn festival..5 day PAID holiday)
WOOOT!
I went to Busan/Pusan during the holidays and had the most awesome time w/ my trip mates, Lauren and Erin.

Also, the days before the Chuseok holiday, my computer refused to turn on,
so i had to send it over to the ASUS company to get it fixed
and...yeah...i finally have my computer back AND have the time to make a post :)

well, for the days inbetween...a lot happened,
including being yelled at by a korean man b/c i didn't speak korean...
assuming he thought I was korean
was not fun.
I was quite upset and depressed...
and so....Erin and I bought a dog;
Sophie Juliet Kelly-Ho.
We're both sharing her.
She's an insanely smart puppy who's already learned how to pee and poop on the newspaper...in less than 2 days!

But...i was never the best writer in summing up my adventures,
so here's Erin's blog of our days...of both
the days before Busan-Chuseok and Busan

Random pictures:
and.....here's Lauren and I being silly w/ the Hanbo

Me at a temple in Busan that was on a large mountain...
beside the temple lied a stream of fresh cold moutain water.
I climbed up the rocky stream and just sat there..
enjoying nature...the silence...just, everything
I absolutely adored that spot and i really didn't want to leave.
Erin took a pic of me at the moment of just....tranquility

I realized after that day of climbing up all those rocks...
the ease that i had with my extremities...
I will be trying my hand at rock climbing.
Cuz I climbed up that river and mountain quite fast..and i must admit, it was quite exhilarating.

Another realization I had while at Busan is this:
I'm forever grateful I chose Korea over staying back at Toronto.
I somehow felt imprisoned in my situation there and now...
my eyes are so open to new sights
and this thirst for new experiences and perspective is slowly being indulged.
My entire body, mind, and spirit has been re-energized.
I'm enjoying my time travelling..
and i'm not sure when I'd want to return now
thinking of what options there would be for me in Toronto,
and the absolute freedom and endless sights being at the other end of the world is giving me.
But don't you worry, my dear friends.
I shall return...
but i just can't tell you when.
Because I really just don't know.

At the hotel, we watched "the hot chick"
and it was JUST so wrong when we were watching the korean mom parts...IN KOREA!
hahaha "nigga prease"
*best part* i <3

lots of pics will follow...
once all of them have been uploaded

put it on your damn post-it note

2007-09-14T11:41:00.000+09:00

ok.
it stops now.
no more.
you got it?

STOP IT NOW!!!!

i'm serious.
you got the msg.
stop it.

it's about pride, isn't?
or some type of ownership or control.
well, no more.
it's unnecessary harm for you
and unnecessary harm for me.
enjoy what you have right now
because that is more than you could have ever asked for.

stop.
you know this isn't doing any good for anybody, especially for you.
so stop.
please, stop
for the sake of everyone.

i'm begging you, please...stop

as i sit here in darkness

2007-09-13T00:44:00.000+09:00

hello everyone,
currently, i'm sitting at the foot of the bed of my co-worker's.
just keeping her company till she goes to sleep...
where i'll somehow attempt to maneuver myself in her apartment in pitch darkness to make my exit and down to my apartment...
while attempting to be stealthy......
in my flip flops, pajamas, and jeans...
i sense doom in this mission.

Although, she has graciously allowed me to mooch off her internet
due to some unknown reasons...i have no access to the internet at my apartment..
except for msn messenger.
weird indeed.

to seek company when one is upset.
how intriguing...
something that i, personally, avoid...
but whatever works for others is all fine with me.

Lately, i've been appalled by my surrounding's lack of proper senior care.
the individuals doing menial jobs, such as garbage collecting..a la carting a large cart around the city picking and sorting garbage, by foot, might i add!; cleaning rooms; farming; handing out pamphlets on the streets and so forth
are senior citizens!
i also just recently found out Korea lacks any decent senior care/long term care...
some government assisted funding and so forth.
I find this quite appalling not simply b/c i come from a society with somewhat of a different approach to senior care,
but the fact that this place is supposedly based on Confucian teachings
where one should respect and honor one's elders.

the thing is:
some of my values, especially this particular attitude towards senior care, IS somewhat derived from Confucian teachings.
I did grow up in a somewhat conservative family
and the value of seniors was constantly pounded into my head
as i interacted with my grandparents, older relatives, and so on.

This has slightly reignited my need to improve senior care at home (if not the world).
my proposal and project has been on the back burner since convocation.
but it has still constantly be at the back of my mind.
This...realization and experience has angered me...
but also rejuvenated me to strive to really complete my personal project.

...who said anger never led to anything productive!

what it said:

2007-09-11T00:06:00.000+09:00

i'm in love with an ideal
that no one can live up to.

i disagree.

McChesty

2007-09-10T02:27:00.000+09:00

*Grumbles*
it seems i'm a little too large for Korea...
in the chest area, anyways.
After buying the largest size possible at the markets,
the bra was still too small.
So it seems, i must get my parents to send me some from Canada :*(
this really sucks
and does not allow me to get away from being teased by certain individuals about my chest size >:,

In other news, i'm coming closer to a decision on a big decision in my life.
I'm leaning towards one side,
mostly based on my present state and what is available and waiting for me all the way in Canada.

I just don't think i'll be finished yet,
this part of my life.
and...really...what IS there...at the moment...it's not something that big in my life that can't wait till i'm ready.

Also, tonight, i've been mistaken as Japanese...
i have officially covered all asian races upon my mistaken asian identity.

wunderbar!

k pop

2007-09-09T00:31:00.000+09:00

songs that are stuck in my head and that i'm lovin' as of late.

Poor Love - Kim Jong Wook
A great ballad.
I don't know what he's singing about, but i like it.
And it sounds really sad.

and
Lies - Big Bang
This damn song's English part has been stuck in my head for the past week.
and i can only say the English parts and then attempt to say the Korean..then give up and hum.
sad.

g(l)ut-tony

2007-09-06T21:40:00.000+09:00

mmmm..some of the amazing inventions/re-inventions of the koreans is:

ice cream in a squirt bottle, great for when you just need ice cream on the go
or just don't want to do your dishes

i'm loving it.

and the intimidating, but very delicious:
fries on a stick! It's like a corn dog..except, instead of corn batter around a hot dog...it's a mound of fries...and did i mention...IT'S ON A STICK?!?!?!

here we have the infamous engrish.
mmmm....delicious marine products.....
I did later go to another restaurant and ordered the chives and marine products pancake haha
i just couldn't help it

Another infamous dish that i had was dog....

......... haha! i'm just kidding....
I have yet to try the dog dish (or yet to see one)...although i have seen those roasted bugs/maggot "snacks"
the smell's...interesting
and no, i did not and am not planning to try it.
This dog, on the other hand, is safe from the chopping block (literally)
we found him roaming around his owner's store and we thought he looked awesome..
like a lion. a canine leo
yeee

And some misc. pictures from my past weekend with Lauren and Erin (yes, some of my promised pictures)

A little girl in traditional garbs, ruined by the modern ice cream haha

Here's Lauren and I, yet again, misinterpreting another Korean's attempt to communicate a message.
But I must say: the demand for freedom and interpreting it as "look up there!" is somewhat close....

here's Erin, Lauren and I desecrating a Korean national treasure by our presence:

Here's Erin and I getting a little more raunchy while Lauren jumps out of the way b/c she had something called "self-respect" ...while the surrounding Koreans laughed at our ugly, yet strangely erotic affections.

Funny story:
While walking around Insadong, we heard a commotion,
so we went over to the crowd and found a bunch of people doing some traditional Korean dance and drumming...
we thought the old man, who was dancing in the middle of the circle as part of the show....
Until we saw some security guards grab him.
haha, he really did look like part of the scene.
And he was jammin' like it was 1999...err...i mean...999(?)

We later asked if we could take a picture of him
and he gladly obliged our request by posing

Another drunken friend of his demanded we take a picture of him too...and...
as you can see... we couldn't quite say 'no'

So yes, an entry without much substance
but with much visuals.
A think it's a decent trade off :)

i yam what i yam

2007-09-03T22:27:00.000+09:00

i've been getting angrier with my students lately.
especially on last friday.
I had a terrible headache, in which it affected my neck, back;
and everytime i moved my head, i would be dizzy.
It also didn't help much that i had to cover for another sick teacher.
So i basically had no break for the entire day.

My first class of that day was the worst.
It was kindergarten kids and I had to teach them science.
All of'em, just screaming in my ear...
fun.

a few classes later on, i had to further clarify why
although both from Canada,
why a previous white-skinned teacher and I look different.
YOU try to teach multiculturalism to a bunch of 9 year olds
whose first language isn't English.

The next class, while teaching them what a "wife" was,
a student said something about a "husband" and how a "husband" must have a wife.
The lil' ol' Canadian that I am, corrected the student and said that a "husband" does not necessarily need to have a "wife" but could have a "husband"
and same goes for the "wife".
Yes, that's right, i taught a bunch of conservative ten year olds about same-sex marriages.
I didn't think it was that big of a deal until i told one of my English co-workers about it and she was just speechless...just for awhile.
i honestly don't think it was that bad.
I didn't make a big deal out of it,
I simply corrected the student like how I correct their spelling--
by saying they were in the wrong and non chalantly said the correct answer
and quickly moving on

my last class involved me yelling and lecturing a class of 4,
and kicking out one of the students for 5 mins.

Anyways, today, I had to punish and really yell at another boy.
After so much bad attitude and korean jokes...
my last nerve was when he said "teacher crazy"
I kicked him out of my class,
assigned the rest of the class work
and then went out and yelled and lectured him at the halls.
I realized how pretty bad my punishment was when it was my break
and my co-worker informed me that she heard me yelling
and then later, she informed me that she had that class after mine and the student was crying.
because he felt so bad.
I felt so damn guilty...
but really, that was my last straw.
And at least it was effective.
After i sent him back into the class, the entire class calmed down and did whatever i said.

But with all honesty, i've been really patient with them
but after so much, i'm not gonna let them walk all over me.
And i'm not gonna merely send them to another person to deal w/ my problem,
that's not a long term plan.
that indicates that i can't deal with them..
and i damn well can.

Besides work,
I enjoyed my weekend.
Saturday was chore day.
Sunday, had an amazing time exploring insadong and itaewon with erin and lauren.
had amazing street food, food, and cool stores.
I got complimented by an old lady who was selling hats.
I bought a hat after she knocked a 1000 won b/c i was Canadian and she liked my face :)
she could've been sarcastic and just really blind,
but she got me.
And i liked the hat.
My pimp hat
haha.
when we were leaving insadong, at the subway station,
a creepy old man started talking to erin in korean and started putting his hand on his crotch.
I tried to help her, but he spoke to me in korean and started rubbing his crotch again.
After i said "no no"
he started yelling at us and I had to pull erin away and hide.
haha man...if only I knew what he was asking.

after, we met up with hannah and later, janelle for dinner.
I haven't seen those two since we left the airport.

it's funny, it's now my 2nd week in korea
and yet it feels longer.

also, some issues are happening back at toronto
and i wish i could be there to assist in resolving the issue...
like i usually do.
but i can't now.
and can only hear what's happening :(

hopefully once erin posts up the pics of our trip sunday,
i'll post it up here.

things that make you go "ha-ha"

2007-08-31T11:43:00.001+09:00

"i'm like herpes, you'll never get rid of me"
- an mtv show

"a classy fart"
- 'replication' ; the lot

see-nile

2007-08-30T23:02:00.000+09:00

it's not that i have a really bad memory.
yes, it's true i at times forget my name,
people, things, history, facts....
but it's not that i lack a decent memory
or that i find those forgotten pieces of information insignificant/unimportant.
It is definitely not that.

The thing is...i may not remember the details of events and individuals...
but i do remember something else.
Some people are great with names; some are great with minute detail.
I, on the other hand, have a great memory of how something felt.

that's right, my memory is based on emotions.
so, I may not remember the details of how someone pissed me off, betrayed me, or absolutely won my adoration...
but i do remember how i felt.
I remember every aching moment of how i felt during those moments.
And once those moments are experienced through my memory...
the details begin to follow...
and more feelings/emotions follow...
and so on and so forth.

It does seem weird...but it is believable.
think about the existence of IQ and EQ...
how some people are better at math, the other languages..and another, art.

Why must memory be any different from intelligence?
is it not from the same source?
our minds?
so if people's intelligence can be different,
why can't one's memory, or ability to recall memory, be different as well?

so there you have it, a short explanation of my supposed memory.

we are all the same and different at the same time
-a semantic contradiction...but then again, it's just semantics

so do understand...
i don't forget.
i remember.
I remember the feelings/emotions i felt when events occurred
and majority of the time, it wouldn't be consciously brought up.
So i could forgive...but i will never forget.
not even if i tried.

Medusa v.1

2007-08-29T23:36:00.000+09:00

We all went to her for salvation, from the heartache and emotions
We went to her willingly, begging for assistance.
And she, like the emphathetic woman she was, agreed.

We were never her victims,
she was our saviour.
she turned us into stone
so that we may not have to feel the pain;
the utter torment we felt every second of the day from the tyranny of the ones we had once and for some, still, love.

She took away our burdens and turned us into stone
so that we once again stood tall and strong.
She made us immune to our wearies
and allowed us to face the world again.

But they would not have it.
Those individuals and gods;
they thrived on our pain;
enjoyed our tears and cheered on our burdens.
Their sadistic appetites called out for more,
and she, a hindrance to their joys

They sent a fool, a coward to be rid of her.
murdering her as she slept
because he lacked any galls

Her potion immediately left us;
our stone shield disappeared.
Our bodies, minds and soul, bombarded by the fears;
the pain overcame us and weighed us into a dark abyss.
We cursed the gods for what they did
for forcing us to have to feel the things we did not have to.
They watched with amusement, licking their grinning lips,
while we suffered and died from the wounds that were once not there.

Medusa was our saviour
she turned us into stone
we were eternally thankful
because we never had to feel alone.

doubled edged

2007-08-28T22:46:00.000+09:00

something's been bothering me.
A statement made by a friend of mine.
It went along the lines of how people who went overseas to teach were simply losers
or rejects of their own country.
And i think to myself:
"wait a sec! i'm ONE of those!"
and from the people that i've been meeting, many have been great successes.
take for instance, a co-worker of mine from Australia.
She has a masters in nutrition.

Most importantly, I am NOT a loser!
whatever i've put my heart into, i've succeeded.
and somewhat popular
and i'm definitely not a reject of my own country.
I've merely done this to travel and to experience a different culture without putting a dent in my pocket
and i'm sure many others are doing the same.

No, I do not want to be a teacher,
but this was the best way for me to really go out and do something on my own,
make money while saving some for my future endeavours
and to travel.
so XP

NOT a loser.
I actually think i'm more of the winner over the other options i had.
Such as working in Canada...being stuck in my old situations;
or slaving away at grad school...being broke as hell.

I'm contemplating another year over here
or perhaps trying a different country...
i just want to travel and to find my home.
not that my country rejects me and hence, does not make me feel at home...
but b/c i just need to find out what makes home
for me.
and i'm starting to get a better idea of it...
and that's something that i could never have found out if i had stayed within the education system and back at toronto.

twitch

2007-08-28T21:45:00.000+09:00

*argh* my left eye's lid has been twitching for the past 2 days.
it's friggin' annoying.
it looks like i'm nervous or...twitchy,
which i'm not.

on to another topic:
i'm loving korean mtv.
the music's pretty good...
and everyone's so pretty...
EVERYONE...including the boys
prettier than thou :*(
*pshaw* at least i'm more handsome!!
*sigh*...i'm taking anything that i can at the moment....

I've also noticed that on tv, men have a tendency to cross dress...
and my gaydar's constantly blipping while watching some of the korean shows and commercials...
and it's not due to the metrosexual and effeminate men...
*gawd* "see no gay, hear no gay, speak no gay" is definitely full in effective here.
so...yeah....

presently, i haven't had much time to think and reflect...
i've been too busy with establishing everything and work that i've only had so little minutes for some down time.

but...i have been torn about some certain topics...
and some thoughts and realizations have been quite painful to swallow and take...
but i suppose that's life and that shit happens
and it's going to continue to happen
so i might as well learn from them.
It just stinks. :P

Anyways, I don't know if anyone knows about this...
but i'm a WHORE when it comes to the olympics.
i'm already psyched about it.
last night and the night before, i was watching the discovery channel till 2am.
It was about some olympics related topic, like the buildings and how athletes trained.
*gawd* i can't wait until the olympics are on.
i'll be checking the stats as much as i can
and i'll be cheering on Canada and China on there respective events (although i'll be rooting for China more...b/c they have more of a chance during the summer olympics than Canada... i'm brutally realistic, not unpatriotic :P)

alrighty, i'm gonna take a rest. i had to teach and work 7 horus straight without a break today.
i hope everyone's doing well...
and if anybody has some cool songs to share, please do inform me.
i've been quite disconnected from the north american pop culture :*(

things that make me go "hmmm..."

2007-08-27T22:51:00.001+09:00

"you are what you love and not by what loves you"
-adaptation

"what loves you defines you"
- another movie

so which is it?

this little piggy went to the market...

2007-08-26T12:05:00.000+09:00

yesterday, a co-worker of mine, matthew, who's from b.c. canada, took me to itaewon to get me a t-money card.
the subway system's amazing and so clean.
I especially adore the subway vendors who sell random things on the subway.
It's weird, cuz usually the people screaming out on the ttc are usually the mentally disturbed individuals.
there was one particular vendor who was like an old lady.
she was selling a vegetable cutter that cut things such as cucumbers into really thin slices.
She would demonstrate by slicing up a cucumber.
the slices would be so thin that she would just stick it on her face.
I was tempted to purchase it, just b/c she looked so damn adorable with cucumber slices on her face.

On our arrival to Itaewon, i had found out i lost my transfer ticket, and i tried to sneak past the gates, but to no success as the gates closed on my crotch.
but the ticket guy was a bit understanding ad didn't make me pay for the entire trip again as I was new and was planning to buy a subway card (t money card).
damn, ttc should really adopt this system.
Matthew had to go to a travel agent to check out the pricing for any trip out of korea during the harvest holiday that's coming in a few weeks.
While there, i thought i might inquire about the cost of a ticket to HK during the x-mas holidays.
around 450 000 won, not bad! that's about....550 cdn!
round trip.
i'm contemplating...although i know i should save up.
but i can't help it, i want to take advantage of as much travelling as possible.

after the travel agent, matthew took me to a cool used bookstore.
i was mightily impressed by the selection. And! they sold neil gaiman books
and comics! *awesome*
another interesting thing was that the bookstore was located on hooker hill.
perhaps on my next trip, i might get up the courage to inquire about the pricing of said russian hookers...besides...a russian sex worker on the street brings back memories of home :*) lol

After, matthew took me to dongseungmun.
apparently, it's the world's biggest market.
for all you shoppers out there: picture toronto.
And in every nook and cranny of space, including the alleyways,
vendors, stores, and booths of people just selling anything and everything.
It was insane.
We spent over 3 hours walking around that area...
getting lost, but also just stumbling on interesting things.

eventually, we got back to the subway station and went back home.
I had to go shopping for a cooking pot and other utilities and food stuff i forgot to purchase in the morning.
Lauren (another white co-worker who's from the US) took me to the Lotte shopping market that's about a 20min walk away.

I'm still dreading taking a shower and going to the washroom at my place.
It's still really out of my comfort area...
but when you've been sweating so much, due to the humidity and heat...
and you *just* really have to do your business,
taking a shower and going to the bathroom just trumps comfort levels lol

alright, i shall end this entry and perhaps finish up my lunch...
and maybe see if i can purchase a cellphone and maybe go to the electronic market today.

(by the way, i'm 13 hours ahead...so the date on blogger isn't correct. but i'm too lazy to figure out the korean on here to change the time zone. It's a sunday early afternoon for me over here)

I gots SEEOOOUUULLL

2007-08-22T22:13:00.000+09:00

apologies for the delayed entry.
Yes, I am currently in the South Koreas.
I landed at 2:30am, Korea time, having spent 14 hours on a plane and being mistaken as korean and the given bad looks when i give a blank stare, assess the situation and apologize for not understanding but I only know English (A foreshadowing of what is to become of me once i land, I assure you)
Janelle, Hannah and I spent a good hour watching the slow, mind-numbing baggage revolver. It took us an extremely long time to finally see our baggage.
F-ing baggage claim.

Anyways, after arriving at my place at 5am, I had to immediately settle down and be ready to be picked up by my supervisor at 12:30pm.
From then on, it's been quite busy since I was suppose to be at the school last week, so now the teacher that i'm replacing has left after my first day.
But my school has allowed we to observe and learn the rings of the trade for two days, before I take on the classes Friday.
Trial by fire? indeed.
But so far, the co-workers and employers that I have seem to be very accepting and cool.
Also, it seems I am the only native speaker who is of asian descent.
It's like my philosophy class all over again *le sigh*.

I apologize for the lack of pictures of my new digs;
but i lack any camera...except for my webcam, but i'm just too exhausted to really take a pic of my place.
It kinda sucks that my work day ends at 9:20pm, but cool that it starts at 1pm.

The weather currently is extremely hot. I've been cranking my a/c up everytime i'm at home.
Thank you to the person who invented the a/c.
And thank you employer for giving me a place that has an a/c.

It's a little sad.
The first time i wanted to take a shower at my place,
it took me a good 2 hours to figure out that there was no shower stall
and that my entire washroom was really the shower in itself.
Perhaps the mold on the door and floor should have indicated that...
but i was in deep denial.
But what's even more sad is that I still have yet to figure out how to open my washing machine.
I've spent over 5 hours just trying to figure out at the washer.
It taunts me everytime i look at it...and the thing is: it's right at the foot of my bed, so it's not like i can't look away and not be bothered that despite having a $30 000 degree, i cannot figure out how to friggin open a gawd damned washer!!
*Argh*

Anyways, i'm exhausted from my day and i'm still suffering from jet lag.
I've finally attained internet at my condo, so I'll be able to post more now.

If anyone wants to know, i'm 13 hours ahead of the majority of you.

hopefully i'll get into the flow of things sooner and settle everything soon

Because you can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter"

2007-08-17T07:23:00.001+09:00

wonderful wonderful perry bible fellowship
and
vgcats

I've been busy these past few days packing and trying to tie up some loose strings...

almost done, but not quite

*dear gawd* i'm worried about my 18 hour flight....18 hours!!
what happens if i gotta do my...dirty business?!
i can't possibly do it on a plane!!
*sigh* anyways, i gotta go...still have to do errands until the very last minute i leave.
STRESS!!!!

devirginizing

2007-08-15T10:39:00.000+09:00

welcome to my new blog.
I've changed locations for my online journal for a few reasons:
- my previous journal's site had begun to randomly delete my lovely posts

- i have a terrible memory and my journal is meant to remind me of events that i have written down. By randomly deleting my journal entries, it leads to the decay of my already vanishing memory of past events.

- it's a new beginning; hence the change of my usual "brainfart" titled journal into "suckling pig".

Why "Suckling Pig"?! why not? Aren't we all just young piglets who've suckled and nursed ourselves upon the teats of our Mother (Knowledge)? And while getting all plump and nurtured by this, aren't we all being succumbed to the fires of experience and life...roasting our poor selves into delicious pieces of succulent...... ..... ....

ok, that was a lame attempt to provide reasoning behind the title "Suckling Pig".
The title is absolutely random with a hint of jack assness....but i'll just let all wonder, while the victim(s) of my aptly titled journal be taunted.

Please do be patient, I am in the process of drastically changing my life and location that it may take some time to write or actually have access to the internets.

So let the Suckling of the Suckling Pig begin!