nekkid!!

Heyos everyone!
really have nothing much to report.
this past weekend, I spent some time w/ a few co-workers and my boss at a traditional jimjilbang.
I was pretty psyched for it and scared Danielle L. with my screams of
"LET'S HAVE SOME NEKKID FUN!!!"
in the staff room haha
or my comments of : "c'maaan! let's go and have some non sexual nekkid fun"
in the end, it was an entirely new experience minus the nudity of everyone.
We all just went into the uniforms and went into these awesome sweat log huts.
There was one room w/ a salt rock filled floor and we lied on it for awhile.
I think i have a salt rock bruise on my left rib.

It was really relaxing.
Also, we caught a few flicks this past week.
One was 10 000 B.C. ...it wasn't too bad, although the ending..and the non-ending of one particular character's life kinda ruined it for me;
In addition, "the other bolweyn sister" starring eric bana, natalie portman, and scarlette johannson (yeah, i spelled her name wrong, i don't care).
It wasn't too bad...but not really something that good...despite my bias towards historically based flicks.

As for work, it's not too shabby.
Today, i had fun w/ my supervisor by making her squirm when she told me I had another new student in my class and that I would have to photocopy part of a book...again.
This was a minute before class started,
So i gave her my "Whuh?!" o_O look and didn't say anything.
She just started squirming and saying "what?...what?!?! what?!?!" in a whiny tone.
And then after 2 minutes, I told her I was just joking and that it was okay,
lol she started whining more and saying that she hated me in a joking manner.
haha

Joey and my supervisor has also named me something like.."dogdochun" or something of that like,
to me, it sounds like they're just calling me a dog..or "doggy"
but apparently, it means genius or smart person...
i'm not too fond of it mostly b/c it still sounds like "dog".
Every time they call me that, i just feel like running to them, panting like a dog.
But they call me this b/c i've been their technical support with their computer issues and random things that I just happen to know... due to the random knowledge i've accumulated from gawd knows what.

As for my baby, she got her period...she's becoming a woman :*)
so as any Asian mother would do..i have imprisoned her in my place for fear of her getting pregnant until i neuter her.
I refuse my daughter to be one of those illegitimate child bearing girls.
the shame she would bring to our asian family..SHAAAME!!
lol



Cont. of the Closer-esque moment:
I knew once I woke up in the middle of the night...
I turned towards the person sleeping next to me.
I caressed her face with my fingers and covered her exposed shoulder with the comforter that we shared and unconsciously wrestled for,
and the feeling overcame me.
I spoke the words as it simultaneously came to my mind, soul, and entire body:
"I don't love you"
and that was when everything tied together.
I turned around and faced the wall, closed my eyes,
and fell asleep.
That was one of the best sleep i've ever had.

Runaway Train

and I'm the conductor....crap?

Right now, i'm just chugging along, not really having much downtime to actually write a post.
At the moment, i feel like i'm going on this predetermined path that I have no idea of..but i'm just here for the ride, whether i like it or not.
I'm using this analogy simply because the runaway train analogy popped in my head a few minutes ago while taking a shower.
It's an analogy that pops up quite often as i just mull around in my memory.
I believe it came up while studying Descartes' First Meditations.
Oddly enough, I remember that it was my first time doing summer courses at UT..
it was a pretty small class...3 hours... and as usual, a few intimidating classmates.
We had a very important French philosopher watching over our lesson that day, as he was our lecturer's supervisor for his/her final stamp for her phD.
I know i wanted time to look over a few things, but of course in the education system, you really don't have time.
So now i'm digesting it and applying it.

Back to the present:
I feel like I have a destination i'm getting closer to.
The anxiety deep inside of my mind and heart is telling me so..
I'm sure i could have gotten significantly closer to it by now..
but instead, i vied for the scenic route (I always preferred the scenic route)
at the expense of a few years...and at no expense of my mental, emotional, physical and *gawd* knows what...which would have been the cost if i had gotten to the most direct route.
As for my destination, I have no idea but hey! I might as well enjoy the ride.

I know a handful of you want me back home,
but you know i can't, not yet.
I do have very good reasons as to why returning prematurely, from my perspective, would not be conducive towards my entire whole as a person.
Despite being scoffed at by my Jungian professor when I answered a personal question of hers that I was planning to "find myself",
It's not that i'm "finding" as if i've never seen myself..
but more of having lost myself in what i had to do, such as finishing up my studies and well...surviving..
I'm just trying to get myself back together, after many individuals' attempts to mold me into something that they seemed fit..
and to learn and get to know myself better.
It's extremely difficult to do so in an atmosphere in which there is a very strong idea of what one believes or thinks I am.
If you treat a person like they're an idiot...after awhile, they'll begin to believe it and act accordingly, despite previously obviously not being anywhere near the treatment imposed on that person.

I'll just end this post now,
the pup's telling me i'm neglecting her..
so i'll just share this song that i've been jamming to and have had on constant loop for the past few days.
Also, i'm pretty stoked that I will be attending Ne-yo and Chris Brown's concert this coming April 6th with a Kickass Korean, Jiny and my other co-workers.
I'm extremely stoked.

bow shicka bow bow (?)

Here's a little somethin' somethin' that pops up in my head
while i'm just walkin' about








haha, the latter one..by vgcats especially messes me up.
And, it's by a fellow Canuck :)

But I would say..PBF definitely beats VG cats for the humour.

_______________________________

Lately, i've been thinking about an issue that has been constantly bugging me.
When i play the concept in my head,
I don't mind it...
but as I further put myself in such a situation...
I get a panic attack.
Seriously, I panic and want to run.
However, when i'm actually in the situation,
I act accordingly..but *Gawd* the feeling of being chained down is dominant.
Hence, I shall continue on what I've been doing.

I'm sorry, but I have way too many things to do
I really don't have the time or the energy to deal with the shit that would be brought upon me.

FYI

my ass is burning from the heated floors...
that is all

Good, life is

Right now, I have my beautiful, floppy puppy on my lap...
drinking a strawberry-banana smoothie I just made from my 16 dollar smoothie machine...
Just returned from the gym...
still stuffed from the free dinner I got from my bosses, which included various kimbaps, smoked meats, and kimchi...

life.
is.
good.

I have a decent amount of money in my wallet and bank account,
I have my own place,
I have some good friends, who are also my neighbours around me.
And although work has been hectic and disorganized..and...plenty,
it's tolerable
and my bosses and co-workers are cool with me.

Currently, I know many of my friends are suffering from papers and exam cram time...
and I absolutely do not miss it..at ALL.
I love this change of pace,
not being broke or starving...
and being stuck.

Lately, i've been frequenting a Jimjilbang near my place.
It's a great way to relax.
For 6 bucks, I have unlimited hours and access to it's spas, saunas and so forth.
I'm planning on going friday night and staying overnight.
It's a great way to get to know ppl and to just chill.

In addition, I've been attending a Korean class with Lauren and Shella.
I went in on the 2nd day and they were going pretty fast,
but I was on the ball, to my surprise,
considering I really suck on picking up languages...
seriously....10 years trying to learn Cantonese and still nuthin'
Although, as my defense: Cantonese is hard! it's essentially learning 2 languages in one!
Speaking and Writing are almost entirely different...
and there's no alphabet!!
it's all memorization!!
C'MAAAAN!!

Of course, I'll be keeping my growing knowledge of Korean on the down-low w/ my parents...
as they would kick my arse if they ever found out that I understood/spoke more Korean than Cantonese..
which would be sad and "shameful" indeed.

And okay, fine, there's no excuse for my terrible terrible french.
I just suck.

I apologize for the lack of updates, but...I really don't want to be dependent on the web.
Also, I know i'm probably the worst correspondent ever,
I don't know why,
I used to be good and consistent..
but..I think after so long...I've drifted away from really replying
Perhaps after SEC, in which I was tied to my e-mail and so forth.
I just need a break, hence being here.

Alright, I"m gonna spend some quality time w/ the pup..
I'll try to update a tad more often.