the ego has landed? freud? jung? anyone?

yeah...thinking now...observing...
it was an ego thing.
it was the potential and realization of failure...
and obligation.
damn the stubborness
damn the ego
and yet, the two keep me going..
higher and higher

*ah* to be Jung again

At the moment i'm extremely peeved.
I received two complaints regarding 1. how i used a Korean phrase in the classroom which kind of meant "do you want to die?" (mainly used to say: stop doing that, i don't like it)
Despite having caught my kids saying that statement while in the midst of teaching the class about what 'idioms' were.
So i told the kiddies i knew what that meant and to not to use it...however since I was teaching about idioms, i said that to a foreigner, that sounded like an actual threat, instead of what it's really meant as "stop that"
but they knew it wasn't...and that was what an 'idiom' meant...
a phrase that means something but if taken literally, means entirely different...or incomprehensible.
But of course, i had kids, after leaving my class saying how cool i was for knowing that korean phrase...saying this infront of my boss...and then i get in trouble.
Basically i was spoken to, saying i should never use such a phrase in my class...
that teachers don't use that in their classrooms.
I was extremely peeved b/c they didn't know in what context that phrase was used.
They just automatically assumed i splurtted it out.
Of course, this complaint came after I was taken out of the middle of class by my supervisor informing me that my boss didn't like me playing scrabble with my class after their lesson was done...
b/c the boss didn't like it
and then later informed that a parent complained saying how their kid said that what they did in class all day was play scrabble.
peeved? just a tad.
but also, dammit, the things i have to teach is so little and i have to extend it into 2 lessons (nearly impossible)
My supervisor informed me that i should give more questions, debate, or make worksheets...
and in my head i'm thinking: "damnit, i don't even have enough time to do my daily paperwork, how the hell am i going to have enough time to make worksheets?!"
and as for debating...yeah...like that's gonna work...
i'm teaching kids that don't give a crap...
wonderful.
So now i gotta figure out what to do.
I'm thinking about teaching them how to write an essay...
that's right, make them kill the little fucker who complained to their mother.
I'm gonna make'em suffer...b/c i have to suffer lol.
Well, there's nothing else I can do,
i can't play games with them,
and scrabble was the most appropriate game, instead of pictionary and hangman
b/c it dealt with spelling and it was challenging...
so now I gotta add some other lesson to their usual one b/c there is no way I can stretch a very sparse lesson into 2 forty minute classes...
not with these kids, who are the top kids in the school.
So more writing it is...more stress and work for the kids and no games.

Blargh, alright, complaining is over.
I'm very happy for my brother.
Today, he informed me he passed his engineer credentials
very proud.

Also, today, Shella and I checked out the 2 local gyms near our place.
They both had the machines I used...so i'm tempted..
the closest gym to us..for 3 months, 120 bucks....
i dunno...i'm thinking about it.

This past weekend, i hanged with Lauren and went to a public bathroom,
also, went for a facial..it was gooood.
Felt mucho refreshed and relaxed..and I needed it.
This month and upcoming months have and will be BRUTAL.

I'm also somewhat being phone stalked by a korean boy trying to pick me up,
despite getting another korean to msg him informing him that I am taken/engaged.
*huzzah* another pseudo-engagement for moi!

*sigh* work has been rough and tomorrow will be my supervisor's last day (she's extremely pregnant)
I've somewhat met...or more of: observed, the new supervisor....i'm scared.
She doesn't seem too talkative (including speaking much of English),
and probably won't like my jokes..unlike my present supervisor who laughs and jokes around with me.
But, thank gawd Joey will be the head teacher...so at least i'll have someone on my side.

Alright, enough updating for now.
Really rough day and just want to spend some time with my special girl....and L

"I can't see anyone not liking you, seriously" - Shella
"I hope my daughter will be as smart as you....but not as sarcastic"- Fiona

[kid points to picture of the ugly duckling]: "you, teacher!"
"Why, YES, i AM a beautiful swan, thank you"
"Yes you are" says Mary.

"How can a Korean speak such English?!" - Amy, new supervisor not knowing that I am not Korean.

strangely aroused

still up right now trying to finish writing up tests...
still have..3 more to go :*(
I'll be finishing it up this weekend..cuz there's no way i'm meeting the due date..
which was about.....3 hours ago haha.

many strange events have occurred these past few days
including my very pregnant supervisor saying that she hopes she gets a daughter as smart as me although not as sarcastic...
the guy who set up my new cellphone plan trying to pick me up
and text messaging me poorly translated pick up lines...
office drama and so forth that caused a very poisonous atmosphere that included a 6 year old asking a preschool teacher what "bullshit" meant....
although on a good note: i get more money (but sadly, that's the only good note)

One of my favourite and cutest student is leaving for China for four years tomorrow
and i'm extremely saddened.
She gave me a going away present which included very expensive foot and hand creams.
I was so shocked, that i actually offered and gave her a big hug
and Joey and I will be making a photo album for her by this evening...
*sigh* why do all the good ones leave...and all the crap ones stay?!
lol


Alright, so tired...but at least it's friday.
Hopefully i'll have time to post up everything and do a decent post.

I'm currently trying to make a comic-instruction leaflet on how to deal with an elephant in the room.
yup...
nites everyone,
i gotta shove L over so i can squeeze into my bed...
i really wish i had a bigger bed...like my good ol' queen sized one back in toronto.

By the way: the needy bitch opening has been taken, please apply for another position.
thank you.

What UT has taught me:

To just give up and helplessly take it in the rear

My school currently has a new elementary teacher, one who has replaced Adam ( :*( )
Her name's Shella and she's from Australia.
Lauren and I have been playing tour guide for her for the past week...
Today, we took her to LotteMart (a large supermarket-department store)
During this trip, Shella noticed how many times ppl mistook me as Korean...
and I, having mastered the art of pretending I understood.
I've given up trying to clarify the misunderstanding...
and it just takes far too long and too much energy to continually explain to ppl that (and in this exact order):
1) I do not know Korean
2) I am Canadian
3) No, I am not Korean
4) Yes, I know i look Korean, but I'm not

I believe the count was about 8 ppl within that hour of shopping
that approached and spoke to me.
One in particular,
an old woman,
came up to me in the aisle and spoke to me in Korean...
this was an encounter in which i couldn't feign understanding
b/c she asked me a question...that will be..like for the most of me being here, will never know..
I had to say in my limited Korean that I did not know Korean
and that I am Canadian..
she said something to the likes of
"oh...hahaha..you look Korean, that is silly of you to not know..."
and walked away laughing
at the end of the aisle
(i forgot to add: she was using a cane)
She keeled over and started laughing WITH cane in hand
laughing at me..
probably thinking how retarded of a Canadian Korean I was.

But the fact that she keeled over
an old woman..
keeling over out of laughter from me..
hurt.
just a little.

But I suppose my day was done. My life's mission complete...
bringing happiness to someone...if not for a brief moment -_-""


Anyways, tonight, i made dinner for Lauren, Shella and I (I love entertaining)
After cleaning my entire apartment (thanks to Shella willingly taking Soph off of my hands for a little while),
and getting chlorine in my eyes (which burned for oh so long...well, at least i know it works)...
oh, and giving soph a shower with some nice smelling blueberry shampoo that I believe I will continue using on her.
The menu of the night was:
rice,
seaweed,
mussels (a pound purchased for $1.90 "what!??!") in a garlic, butter, and wine reduction,
bulgolgi,
and for dessert: chocolate fondue with strawberries and bananas.
After, we talked and watched the Nanny Diaries on my comp.

Not too shabby day.
Had a bunch accomplished...
although I failed to go to Uijeongbu to get a cell...
since I have decided to ditch my extremely broken cell phone and its annoying pay as you go plan (where I have to continually refill minutes every month or else it'd be cancelled...despite having a plenty on the damn thing)
and I shall be switching to another company that isn't as annoying...
boo...more money wasted.
but at least i'll be saving a bundle for not going to Malaysia/Thailand/Vietnam during the Lunar New Years (All airlines were booked full...or so high that i just couldn't justify paying for a trip that would be significantly cheaper had it not been one of Asia's biggest and most busiest holidays)...
so I suppose it's a good thing.
So I guess i'll be chilling at Seoul with my Xbox360, Soph and Shella during the Lunar New Years holiday coming up...
hopefully we'll get the chance to go and chill and a gimgilbang (a sauna place) during our holiday, cuz I want to check that out fo' sheezy.

I have lots of pictures to post up..
but alas, i've been quite busy these past few weeks...
and utterly exhausted from all the errands
but soon...soon...they shall be up!

brb

RE:

i suppose i was just tired of always being there..
when all i wanted was to be somewhere else but there.
does that make sense?

i was a reluctant participant of the whole thing.
I was merely filling in a position that needed filled...
or simply just doing it until a competent person came around.
But no one came
and i filled that void for such a long time that i became utterly miserable

So there, can't find me now.
can't depend on me anymore.