I'm still working on my ultimate goal.
I just don't know how to reach it.
How can I get a solid foundation of experience and education
with the conditions that I am limited to due to my current situation?
How can I improve the life of senior citizens?
How can I become part of the forefront in the end of life treatment movement?
how can I become a bioethicist;consultant; advocate for ones near the end of their life?
How can I assist in the realization of a safe, nearly unexploitable process for euthanasia?

My goals must be realized.
I really just don't know how.
But i'll try, i'll try.

Sorry, busy with travelling, errands, adventures, my brother's short visit, a possible move and oh...right, work.

I will report with pictures soon once everything settles.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

We took some big steps a year ago,
and look at us now.
Accomplishing so many things and achieving the many goals we've set for ourselves.
And I know there's no one better than you that I could have shared these experiences with.
Here's to another year!


Also, about 75% complete. It's looking awesome.
Still no regrets.
And still feeling good about it.

Here's a song by Big Bang called "Haru Haru" a translation is "Day by Day"
I fell in love with the song the first time i heard it.




Yeah, what can I say, i'm delving more into the Korean Music scene and falling out of the North American music..
something about not having access to it and all...
if only my friends could send me some good music *hint**hint* XP.

So, this Saturday, I'll be going to visit North Korea...yup, if I don't return, find a hot blonde chick and use her as part of your negotiations to get me back from the grasps of Kim Jong Il...cuz the man is so rone-ry.

I'm getting slightly sad that Shella, my wonderful Hoj, will be leaving me soon.
Next Sunday *sigh* that really sucks, but I swear, I WILL visit her at Australia *nods*
i SHALL go to Australia sooner or later.

Speaking of going to another country, in a few weeks i'll be in Malaysia..
soaking in that sweet Malaysian island sun, waters, culture, and most importantly, FOOD!
yeeeeeeee
What can I say! My kryptonite!

I'm just so glad that i've chosen this route,
instead of dying out in the land of academia..
I was so burnt out that I just could not form a decent sentence anymore.
Despite having to be surrounded by broken English or another foreign language,
my English has not disappeared as much as if I had gone through more schooling.
And what do I have now?
A passport that's been accumulating stamps from other different countries;
a puppy that is currently trying to pry one of my bras away from me;
a freezer-filled with discount ice cream;
a savings account somewhat filled with money;
an accumulation of memories and experiences;
a slowly growing wardrobe;
and so on and so forth.

I'm feeling more confident about myself and my abilities
as I continue to survive on my own, as well as being in a foreign country where I basically understand nothing around me.
I'm loving this whole exploring and experimenting thing,
and I really hope I can continue on for awhile.
And if certain situations occur, I may not be going home for an extra few months,
as I hang around Singapore for awhile,
keeping company with my wife..
although...i'm not quite sure what I would do with the sophster if that were to occur.
*meh* that's a year away.
Not as far as FC's wedding cruise that will be happening soon.
*woot* florida, here i come!!
and to see Fatman, Geek, and the whole bunch... so excited!

aites, another entry, another round.

Re: Underage Chinese Gymnasts

I'm not saying that China did cheat by using underaged gymnasts for the Olympics
nor am i disagreeing with the claims.
However, I would like to take note that while I was growing up
(being fully Chinese and all) I always looked younger than I was.

My height, weight, and physical maturity was definitely delayed for quite some time.
I don't think i got boobs until i was 15..and my height was definitely not trying to be stunted by my family and doctors,
rather quite the opposite, with all the junk i had to take and do. (I am 5"3...my tallest ever at the moment..sad sad days)
In regards to the small teeth....I have small teeth!
I have compared my teeth to the children that are losing theirs around me..and it's nearly the same size as my ADULT teeth!
....with the exception of my only 2 normal sized teeth...my two front teeth *sigh*

Sure, seeing Chinese girls next to Americans definitely would make one suspicious...
but seriously, if you put me beside an "American" girl who was of the same age as me (or even one who was significantly younger than me),
she'd tower over me too...
boobs..ass...height and all.
Hell, even last year, when I was studying for my finals..for my LAST YEAR in university..coming from the last OACs (meaning: I was 22 going on 23),
I was mistaken as a highschool student by a multiple of highschool teachers and highschool students.
They forced me into their group that was touring my campus and the only way I could get out of their grasps
was to argue and show 2 pieces of my ID that proved that I was a student of the university and my age.


In addition to the claimed physical evidence of how the Chinese gymnasts are underaged,
there are the claims of their multiple birth dates that are published on news sources and websites.
Cuz clearly, news sources and websites are reliable........
.......................
..............
.......
...
sarcasm? of course.
As a person who has competed in a few sports that do publish one's profiles online and on paper..
and a person who has been interviewed and been profiled by a multiple of news sources..
I am a multiple of ages, genders, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and names(?!)
I must admit that these sources are not prone to being reliable sources for information.

But this is simply from my personal experience.
And it definitely does not mean that I believe that the Chinese gymnasts are not underage..
but while reading the articles and "evidence" of said issue,
alarm bells were just ringing in my head.

Either way, I'm sure there are some valid reasons,
especially since China did kick America and those other countries' arses in gymnastics..
but i'm not too sure I would really want to prove that they are underage..
to think my arse got kicked by young'uns
and sure, they'd be more flexible...
but they definitely would not be mentally mature enough to handle the pressure an Olympian must be in;
and the training that any athlete must go through.
Yet again, there are pros and cons for a young vs. mature athlete.
And I think in the end, it gives a mature, experience-filled athlete a tad more weight than an immature young athlete.

But yet again, we may never know the truth due to our skepticism towards the legitimacy of the inner workings of China

*awkward*

the hoj while wrapping me in saran wrap (for health reasons):
"you know..i can see how people can sexualize saran wrap"

me: "...........let's just hurry this up here....."




I apologize for the delayed update.
It has been busy over here with vacation and so forth.
I went to Nagoya, Japan..and it was...okay.
If anyone wants to go to Japan, I believe Osaka and/or Tokyo would be the place to be if you're on a budget.
Also, those places gives you more options to see a bunch of things within a time limit..
because public transportation is damn expensive.
And well..Japan's pretty expensive (but of course it's magnified even more if you come straight from Korea).
After, I went to Jeju Island, S.Korea.
It was okay as well. The main stuff were at Jeju-si,
while i was at the other end of the island, Segwipo.
So if anyone's going to Jeju, Jeju-si will be the place to go and stay.
Pay the extra money to stay at Jeju-si, cuz in the end, it'll save you money on travelling around the island.
In addition, Lauren and I were recommended to an awesome Indian restaurant.
When we got there, it was really busy, so we sat at the bar.
The girl beside us was eating and we inquired about the food.
We found out she's a regular customer and she recommended us the butter masala.
So we ordered that.
When we finally got our table and ate our delicious food,
I saw the girl stand up and I waved and thanked her for the excellent recommendation.
She replied by recommending us the milk tea...and dyamn
she was right again!
The milk tea was excellent, with a hint of ginger, cinnamon and another.

We also stumbled onto this awesome place where we got to dye clothes with ripe persimmons.
We got lost while trying to go there so we called her up.
She graciously picked us up from an intersection.
Her English was amazing and we found out that she used to live in New York.
She studied and graduated from Parsons Design School (the place where they film Project Runway!)
it was really cool.
She gave us a discount because we travelled so far to get to her place.
Her place was a school that was converted into a house and workplace for her designs and factory for making her persimmon dyed products.
She also taught us how to make an old school asian button out of simply tying knots on a string.
It took me alotta tries, but I eventually got it...while...surprise, surprise, Lauren, the art major, got it on her first try.
When we were about the leave, she inquired where we were going and we said that we were planning to go into Jeju-si to find some paper making place.
She had no idea where that was but said that she would soon be making errands into the city and that she'd drop us off.
She was so concerned about us that she drove us to the main tourist information place and asked for us information as to where we wanted to go.
She eventually left us once we found our destination and ride.
We also promised we'd visit her once she visits Seoul for one of her numerous exhibitions.
Man..I love it when I stumble onto great people while i'm just aimlessly going about.

My next trip shall be Jakarta, Malaysia...oooo...
although, I am slightly getting tired of asian countries, but maybe it's because I've been travelling to many places that are about the same as Seoul Korea.
So Malaysia will probably be a change of pace.

As for my present life,
When i returned to work, Shella and Double D surprised me by getting me a b-day present.
Shella got me some cool gift certificates for movie theatres and restaurants...
while double D got me an Olympics keychain of one of my favourite characters from her China trip.
I was so happy! and double D also treated me to a hot date at an indian restaurant on a Sunday.
She's so sweet :) I'm so glad she's here.
I also received numerous b-day cards and letters from friends in Canada and from other countries.
That was a great day.

As for this past weekend, I finally got what i've wanted for a long time this past saturday.
L went along with me just to make sure i'd be okay. It took about 3 hours to complete the 1st half of the session.
Melissa B dropped by and was entertained by me during the most of the session.
It was really nice of her to stick around and to visit.
She's a really cool gal. I'm very glad i met her.
But this friday, everything shall be finished.
I can't believe i did it and i have no regrets.
It's turned out better than i've expected it.
I'm pretty aware that it will make things a little harder on me and that i'll probably be judged straight off due to the explicitness of what i've done but "meh" it's not like it's something I haven't had to face before...sadly.

uhh...as for anything else, i...don't...know....
besides being a lazy arse on posting....
uhh...hoj is leaving soon.
she'll be leaving at the end of the month.
I'm going to be so sad.... :(
but i can understand why she's leaving soon.

If my readers feel any better...i talk less to my family than i post here.
Yeah, i'm a bad person, I know.
I can't help it.
I have a tendency to drift,
but the people who know me know that i'll always come back after i get everything out of my system.

Alright, I will attempt to write a better post next time.
and within a reasonable time.

bon soir

me, myself, and my wallet...cry

today, i've just finalized and fully paid my plane tickets to a multiple of destinations.
So..within 3 months, i'll be travelling to 3 destinations, not including my november trip to Fred's wedding in Florida.
i will now avoid my bank account statement...

i don't think, in my wildest dreams, i could be travelling so much during this time in my life.
I mean...less than a year ago, i was living in utter poverty..
having travelled nowhere out of north america that's within a day or two driving's distance.
I envied the individuals who were able to even afford flying to vancouver or down to south america.

But now, within these past few months and upcoming months, i would have touched into more countries i've ever gone to than the number of countries i've gone to for my past....23 years?

It's just unbelievable and i'm extremely grateful for having this opportunity to do the travels i've been thirsting to do for the most of my life.

Within 3 months, i shall be visiting Japan, Jeju Island (a S.Korean Tropical Island), and Malaysia.
The destination after Malaysia and Fred's wedding, I think, might be Vietnam..cambodia..mangolia...bali... i don't know, I haven't decided yet....
and i LOVE it! THIS is the type of indecision i absolutely love!

These past few days, i've also realized that my birthday is coming up.
It also took me a few minutes to realize that i was not turning 22...but rather, 24.
Where shall i be during my birthday?
In Japan.
Yup, i plan on finding some serene area in Japan and to..well...
be in awe of what has happened to me this past year and to feel excited for the upcoming year.
yeah, boring for you..i get it XP
i really don't feel anything special during my birthday.
It's just like any other day.
I just like to spend that day either mulling over another wasted year and what is to come or to just reflect what i'm supposed to do with my life....
and...i'm going to be f***ing 24!!
i don't even FEEL like i'm 21!
it's absolutely insane.

Lastly, tomorrow, i'll be joining the SLP food club (my bosses, Elisa, Evelyn, D.b., and i) on a trip to one of the best beef places in Seoul/Korea.
I'm stoked!
Elisa and I were complaining on Friday about how this week should be done with and how we need some friggin' beef in us pronto.

A lot of things will be happening in these upcoming months
and i'm absolutely exhilarated, i *just* can't wait!
And i haven't felt such exhilaration and excitement for....
well....since i was 7, when my family still went on fishing and skiing trips.
(i was such a little geek...i would sleep with all my clothes on so once the time arrived, i'd just run straight to the car)





Thank you for understanding that this is what I need to do
and not a 'want'

tough love

things are failing you now.
what you've become is total, utter shit.
It's really sad.
Before, I saw so much potential in you;
you could have done such amazing things;
risen to great heights...
and what have you done?
you've wasted it and ruined something that could have been so beautiful and satisfying b/c you just had to dive too much into hedonism.
You're pathetic
All now that i can do is watch from afar and shake my head.
Before, I used to feel that i was responsible for your failings,
but then i realized, i could only do so much.
I can only nudge you to which path you should have gone,
i'm not the one who actually chooses and walks down it.
It wouldn't have worked if i dragged your ass down the path you should have gone
b/c it would have benefited none.
Besides, I am not you, I am not your parent (even though a parent shouldn't have such a responsibility as well)

You're an utter waste.
Until you realize and change your ways,
you will be one of the most pathetic individuals i have ever met;
to have had so much and thrown it away due to your own damn ignorance and pessimism of yourself.

Congratulations on being your own saboteur,
now start becoming your own savior
instead of waiting for someone or something that will never come.
Help only comes to a person who helps themselves.

Hurtful? good.
Deal with it by getting yourself out of your self-made crap hole
and finally become that person you were suppose to be YEARS ago.

mission

currently i'm in a starbucks at jong gak.
I've intentionally lugged over my laptop here just to at least make a quality post...
and to later read.

These past few weeks have been interesting,
for the better and the other thing.

On Friday, it was Evelyn's birthday, so after work, we went to VIPS (a spiffy all you can eat place near work and my place).
I splurged (actually, these past weeks i've been splurging...despite the cries of my bank account) on a whole rack of ribs.
maan...was it good!
We had fun talking and joking around,
and it was my first time actually interacting with Evelyn outside of the school/workplace.
We all went home with our guts a hanging and sooner or later, our toilets a clogging.

Saturday (yesterday) we, Me, Lauren, and Hoj, met up with Melissa and she gave us access to the army base at Yongsan.
I dragged hoj with me to get a back massage, while Melissa and Lauren got their pedicures and facials.
Hoj got a haircut too, which kinda resembles my new do.
As for the back massage, it was good and brutal at the same time.
The first thing the lady did on me was to stand on my hips and then step on certain parts of my spine...
and then knowing my neck and upper back is extremely tensed, she put extreme pressure on those points...
as i muffled my screams of pain.
Hoj, on the other hand, muffled nothing.
Lately, she's been having a lot of back problems and I thought perhaps this might assist her...
even with a little touch on her back by the lady, she yelled in agony.
The lady informed me that not only was hoj's back all tensed up..but her arms, and legs as well.
Not good..not good at all. Although, Hoj has been and is going through an extremely stressful time and has been supposedly sleeping on a broken mattress.
*aie*

Anyways, back to the day, my back massage and face waxing only cost me 24 bucks...
awesome.
After our little pampering, we went to a pretty fancy restaurant on the base, called Dragon Hill.
While Melissa, Hoj, and Lauren went for the lunch buffet, i opted for the special of 2 maine lobsters for 49 dollars.
I couldn't help it. I haven't eaten lobsters for the longest of times, AND it was MAINE lobster.. it was soooo delicious and i ate 2 somewhat largish lobsters all by myself, we later ordered creme brulee that had way too much creme in it although it was an extremely generous portion.
I ate only half of that and yes, I do realize how gluttonous I am.
I'm trying to do a little detoxing today and this coming week...
to compensate for my piggish ways these past few days.

After our lunch, in which all of us pried ourselves off of our comfy seats and waddled our way out of the restaurant and base,
we made our way to the Korean National Museum.
We all got into a taxi and told our taxi driver (who was a woman! my first time ever) to go to the Korean National Museum...
she did not understand...and started to make her way to Itaewon (An area known for foreigners) So we tried calling the "free interpreter" number, and the lady did not understand me (what?!) and hanged up on me.
So in the end, i called up Sarah (one of my korean co-workers and friends) to interpret it for us.
Sarah had no idea what we were talking about and with much discussion, she deducted that the strict translation for "Korean National Museum" does not exist and therefore, the museum we wanted to go to must have been called something else in Korean.
She figured that it was a museum called Seoul..something something in Korean..that I don't remember. Either way, i gave the phone to the lady taxi driver and she drove us to the place.
The entrance fee was...FREE!! yay!
and the museum was absolutely magnificent, large, and beautiful.
However, i must say that the organization and the use of space was...something to be desired (where's an interior designer when you need one?! ;) )
From the post before, you should have seen a few pictures of my little trip.
It was mostly good fun. I bought a few knick knacks for my family to send back home.
one of'em is this really cool..plastic bag thing that's in the shape of a vase.
It's really neat and practical to put in flowers,
which i'm sure my parents will thing is pretty nifty too.

Near the end of our museum trip..it kinda got a little dramatic between Melissa and Lauren b/c they had a tad of a ....disagreement.
And in the end, Lauren and the Hoj left on their own.
However, Melissa and I had some fun before we realized the exit of the other two..
including a running joke of us repeating in an overly dramatic voice:
"the power of the turtle dragon!!"
we were making ourselves look like total fools...and really didn't care as we
keeled over laughing from our stupidity.
But now we have mad respect over the...POWER OF THE TURTLE DRAGON!
We eventually left and went back home.
I immediately collapsed into my bed and slept until 10 something.

Today, I was suppose to go to LotteWorld with L and her friend, Greg,
but i was way too sleepy to wake up any earlier than 1pm..
and i needed to buy myself a wallet from the same store i bought my old one (that in the end, i found out they no longer sold my old wallet..so i had to buy a different one)
had lunch and now..chillin' at starbucks.

These next few weeks and months shall be financially...draining, but absolutely fun.
With my summer vacation coming up, going to Japan, Jeju, finishing up my SCUBA open water certification; after my summer vacation, there's the OLYMPICS...that i'll be watching from the TV :*( well, at least there's no time delay..being that i'm close to Beijing (bittersweet..so close yet so far); i'll be getting my artwork done; then a few weeks later, Chuseok! where i'll hopefully be visiting Bali or Vietnam..and then immediately after...one of the best things will happen...MY BROTHER WILL BE COMING TO KOREA!! yay!!!
stoked? just a tad.

Alright, i'm gonna end this entry...this has been taking me far too long
and i'm chatting with E at the moment,
her grandma has passed away and E's overseas..*Sigh*
i'm just glad i was there when my grandpa passed away..
or else i'd be in worse condition than i already am.

06091915-010706
love you

the POWER OF THE TURTLE DRAGON!!!!

Trip to the Korean National Museum

Pictures of my trip with blog coming eventually

password is: immaho

Chivalry...you do not have, Korea

here I am, w/o an umbrella...it begins to rain heavily
I'm obviously lost and now i'm getting all wet from the rain..
and i'm waiting at an incredibly long stop light.
A man with an extremely large umbrella walks beside me,
looks at me, stares infront..
and takes two steps AWAY from me.
thanks arsehole, thanks a lot.

Happy Pride and Canada Week/Day

this really sucks, I've been bothering L with my groans of missing out on Pride week.
I've been reading up on the events and been watching the newsbits about it.
What. the. hell!
i miss out on, so far, Pride's biggest parade?!
and did the rainbow flag get longer?!
WHAT THE HELL!!?!?!
why does everything change for the better when i'm gone!
i swear there's some conspiracy!
I do really miss it,
but after talking to Anna,
there are some things that i don't miss...
the weeks of preparation for the event with whatever organization i would be involved in...
the drama that occurs when some event as large as this happens...
the restlessness and anxiety for last minute prep,
the exhaustion from marching and high emotions...

*ah* the pros and cons.

Anyways, this past weekend, i cleaned up my entire apartment.
damn mold in the bathroom!
i bought a mask, rubber gloves, scrubbers and de-molders...
a party indeed.
On the sunday, I went back to Hongdae to check up on my art work...
i was a tad hesitant...but i'm going to have to trust the artist about this.
So that means...August 9th, 2008, at 2pm, I will be getting my b-day present.
Yes, I have preplanned my birthday present in advance...and it'll cost me $300.
most.expensive.present. i've ever purchased.
but it'll be worth it (hopefully)
no regrets...no regrets.
Unfortunately, Melissa B was too busy to meet up with me, but it was ok.
The hoj and L came along with me.
After my little meeting with the artist, we stumbled onto a nice little French cafe.
It was awesome. Hoj got a delicious ham and cheese quiche...
I ordered a ham, bacon, cheese galette (also delicious) with a side of roasted potatoes (so very heavenly) and Lauren ordered a delicious mixed berries crepe.
So delicious.
After, we pampered ourselves by stumbling into a chocolatier.
Though the chocolate was expensive, it was absolutely delicious.
I got myself a moist, chocolate brownie..mmm.....
Later on, we wandered around hongdae and the artist's alley,
hoj bought a few ballet pumps (which I too am contemplating on purchasing b/c they're cute and comfortable, on my next trip there)
and I was looking for a specific type of pants...but failed :*(.
After a few hours, we were exhausted from the entire trip.
Right before I entered the subway, Juhan called me up to meet up with me.
Unfortunately, i just couldn't stay any longer b/c i was far too tired...
that i couldn't even go to Insadong to purchase a replacement wallet.

I'm anxious about my bday gift,
I'll be losing a large chunk of money this month and early next month
*aie* a tear falls from my eye as I assess the amount of money i'll be spending within these next two months...
on my final certification for SCUBA,
my summer vacation trip,
my present,
and so on and so forth.
*sniff*

On a lighter note, I plan on celebrating Canada Day, despite being in an entirely different country.
I'll be wearing the ol' red and white and telling my kids about Canada Day.
I miss Canada in a way but also not.
However, I'm not ready to go home just yet.
Although the thought of why i signed up for another year at the same school does pop up in my head a few times...or often at times -_-""

*sigh*
I hope everyone's having a Happy Pride, please do post up some pics and tell me any fun adventures/drama...
and Happy Canada Day!

bob it like it's hot

*ah* such an eventful weekend.
I first started it off actually on the friday night.
Went to a jimjilbang to get myself all clean and relaxed with a nice book.
I was eventually getting really tired and went back home,
turned on the tv to get some background noise and stumbled onto a movie about Johnny Cash.
So...I stayed up way too long than i was suppose to because I had to wake up relatively early (in my terms) to meet up with S&L to go to Apujeong, a supposed rich, yorkville-like place with nice shops.
Last week I went there and there really wasn't anything (including little boutiques that I just adore)...
however, S knew a great place although it was about a 20min. walk away from the station.
In the end, the place she brought us too wasn't too shabby.
I got my haircut there and now I am a new owner of a bob.
That's right, i got bobbed.
It's ass sweat hot out here so having long hair just wasn't practical for me.
The place that i went was pretty classy.
Instead of the 8 dollar haircuts I could've easily gotten around my place,
i went for the 35 dollar one.
I had 2 people cater to me.
One cut my hair while the other had brushes and sponges to prevent any hair from getting into my face and tried to make me as comfortable as possible.
One of the best 35 dollars i've ever spent.
And i didn't even have to tip them...or rather, I couldn't.

After, L got me one of the most amazing egg tarts i've eaten in my life because she promised she would get me one after my haircut.
It was orgasmic *licks lips* man....it was so good,
I just sucked that puppy up.
After, we bid adieu to S and went back home to watch a movie we had purchased weeks before (realizing that 3 of them had no English subtitles....oops)

Today, I met up with Melissa B, who I had met at Scuba lessons at Hongdae.
She took me to the artist that I am planning to purchase his artwork from.
I'm stoked.
I can't wait.....some of my goals are planning to come to life...to LIIIIFE!!!!
after the little meet and greet, Melissa showed me some cool little nooks around Hongdae and then I left.
Right now, i'm about to leave to watch Kung Fu Panda with Double D (hehe~~)

As for my whole wallet thing, no one returned it, so I'm still in the process of getting my replacement things now *sigh*

here's a pic of bob:

"sthuffering sthuckatash" - Sylvester the Cat

I'll just get my aggravations out first:
I F***ing left my wallet in a taxi!!!
ARGH!!!!
so i'm waiting a few more hours before I report my visa card stolen and have to go through an entire process and canceling and getting replacement cards.
My alien card, visa, bank card, and ontario driver's license were in there!!!
ARGH!!!!
After finding out about 15minutes later that I had left my wallet in the taxi,
I came out and searched around the taxi stands, hoping perhaps my taxi driver was still there.
After awhile, a man came and tried to help me find it.
He didn't know any English and he heard from Lauren that I was Chinese...
so he called a bunch of people he knew that knew how to speak Chinese so that they could communicate with me...
and yes...not overlooking the flaw of my inadequate Chinese,
the Koreans only know Mandarin, not Cantonese (which I am somewhat aware of).
So it was all a loss.
However, he was nice enough to call the police for us to report my stolen wallet...
and so...here comes my adventure..
ATTENTION EVERYONE!
I rode at the back of a police car in Korea.
That's right.
With flashing lights and all.
In the end, i had to get Joey on the phone to translate stuff for me,
I left my name and then they dropped me back at the place they picked me up from...
but the important part...
I RODE AT THE BACK OF A POLICE CAR....
not once...but TWICE
lol

I found it absolutely hilarious that they made such a huge deal.
What I really wanted was just to report it lost and just go back to my day as planned...
but...why not get pseudo arrested?


So yes, at the moment, it's extremely frustrating to play the waiting game...
and to anticipate all the things I have to do to resolve the officially lost wallet.
I also had a pretty sum of money in my wallet... *argh*


Alright, besides my lost wallet,
I watched the movie "Sex in the City"
My review? Way too long...way too sappy.... and the realization that ultimately, nothing much changed.
However, it had an interesting take on the resolution of certain issues...
but still...waaaaay too long.
I have been watching Sex in the City over here.
Mostly because it's one of the few shows that is on (and in English)
and it's usually on when I'm up and/or available to watch TV.
I've essentially watched every episode of Sex in the City,
so I would like to say my review for the movie is somewhat valid from a person who is well acquainted with the Sex in the City series.

I wanted to watch "Kung Fu Panda" too... but then because of the lost wallet situation, I had no funds to purchase a ticket.
So to home i went.
Surprisingly, I haven't mourned too much about my wallet.
I'm surprised i haven't helplessly, blankly, stared at the wall for hours.
I actually still had a decent day yesterday and somewhat today.

As for my current situation, i'm just slightly anxious about what I must do tomorrow about said missing wallet
and i'm also reflecting upon some issues regarding work.
Hopefully everything will be resolved smoothly, painlessly, and quickly.

Alright, time to get lost with my baby.

Virtual pennies for your thoughts?

So I was about to do a little schpiel about certain individuals who put unreasonable expectations on others despite not being able to do the given tasks themselves...
and I was going to write a rant regarding another individual who sometimes makes me so utterly furious that I feel like breaking people's faces....
but how that individual makes me utterly happy...
*alas* those terrible highs and lows.

However, I stumbled onto an article that I find far more interesting.
Anything that'll deal with ethical issues...
because teaching children isn't the most intellectually stimulating thing in the world, but i've had worse:

Should children be taken away from their parents due to their beliefs?


do tell me what you think.
My reply will be posted up once I've formed some sort of dialogue in my head
but at the moment...i'm going to do some TLC with my baby...and watch the Janice Dickinson tv show (damn you fashionistas for sucking me into this genre!!!!)

"i wish i was an oscar meyer weiner....

huzzah, another post.
i thought i might binge on this to compensate for the lack of posts.
today was a pretty long day,
had to wake up early to take the sophizzle to the vet,
do a few errands and wandered around the Uijeongbu area before school started.

It seems my move to put myself hostage for a certain situation has turned out well,
and so once our goal was achieved, i simply and immediately took myself off of the negotiating tables and into...well...my present situation.

I've realized how much I'll have to do this upcoming weekend *argh*
I gotta book plane tickets, do a bunch of errands, do some personal trips and so forth.
ARGH!!! damnit, time's a ticking and everything's coming all together.

This morning, while chilling with my willing victim,
the feeling of not wanting to settle just yet was extremely prevalent.
I have so much I want to do that it just doesn't feel right to tie myself down with more obligations.
I mean, really, i'm tied by who I am, my status as a daughter, sister, friend, a good partner, my fears, and so forth.
I don't need anything else to tie me down.
So what has this done?!

East Europe!! i may or may not be coming to you soon.
yeah, that's right.
I'm not finished yet.

And as for you,
you shady shady person:
I AM finished with you.

Break it to me

Currently at work during one of my breaks today.

I like Tuesdays because I only have 5 classes, unlike my other ones that have...7 to 8

*blargh*

Alas! I have not blogged for awhile, hence, I am now...

though not the best of times, but it is for me.

Here's the thing: When I am home, I look at my computer and check my e-mails and what not..

and then I think: perhaps i should write a blog or go on MSN or what not to communicate with my fellow humans..

but then i think: NAH! I want to enjoy my day not looking at some electronic screen,

I can go and explore Korea, play with the pup, chill with people in real life, do some accomplishments and so forth.

As many of us knows, sometimes we don't realize how long we have been online until it's too late.

That darned machine does suck up a lot of one's time and energy without knowing.

So that's my excus...err...i mean...explanation for the lack of entries.

So how did my scuba lessons go?

the first lesson was nerve wrecking because I questioned my swimming abilities and the equipment...

when we were diving deep into the water where if I had the need to surface, it was nearly impossible without a respirator,

I was extremely anxious.

My goggles were fogging and so my sight was limited, which did not help myself freaking out.

But in the end, i survived (yes yes, put that champagne bottle back, I have yet to die yet)

This past weekend was my last confined diving lesson,

and it was significantly easier and better that I actually quite enjoyed it.

I dreaded it for the most of the week and chanted to myself to stop questioning my abilities and the equipment

and it worked.

Damn my pessimism of myself, I must work on that, I know, I know.

Either way, I am certified! in the Confined diving..for now...until after my summer vacation, where i'll complete the open water test.

Although, throughout this diving experience, I did realize that there does tend to be an issue with people's misinterpretations of my facial expressions.

As I was silently freaking out, my instructor thought i was happily smiling away while slightly drowning.

Here is the fallacy of my emotions: My mouth is a deception.

My mouth is naturally in a smiling position.

It is not because I am always happy, or up to something mischievious, no no..

it's because my mouth is simply like that, due to my slight overbite.
In addition, when i'm frustrated or not in the best of moods, i have a tendency to tense up my mouth, that does tend to look like a smile...

My emotions are revealed through my eyes.

If he had actually looked at my eyes, he would have seen utter fear and frustration in my eyes as we realized and accepted the fact that I was naturally negatively buoyant (meaning: I sink like...Saved by the Bell's Screech's career).

Another good thing that came out of this experience, besides bringing forth the potentiality of newer experiences, is that I met a girl who will be intro-ing me to this guy who was trained by this artist I wanted to meet to purchase his services.

I'm stoked.

More than a 10 year plan...starting to come into action.

Excited.

Alright, the bell has rung and I must go to my class.

Another time,

At the same Ho place,

Perhaps same Ho time.

priss...diss

The Priss Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLD) Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss. Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy. These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards. You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing. Your exact female opposite: The Playstation Random Gentle Sex Master Always avoid: The Playstation (RGSM), The Peach (RGLM) Consider: The Wild Rose (RBLD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - free online dating | Dating

DISSS!!

i'm stoked for this sunday,
I'll be in some skin tight garbs doing what i've wanted to do...
SCUBA DIVE!! woot woot
by the time i go to fred's wedding, i'll be scuba certified to dive on my own.
*ah* awesomeness.
A long weekend is also coming up and i'll be spending it with sarah out in the country.
It'll be cool.

Today, i had to do some damage control...and also duck away from some certain contracts
it was exhausting..
and then i had an idiotic brat claim that i was stupid and crazy, hence he doesn't have to listen to me,
despite not knowing the majority of things we were conversing about.
yes, wonderful.
It's *such* a smart thing to do to call a person who can pass or fail him an idiot.
*so* smart.
He claims i'm crazy and an idiot because i twist his, unrelated to the topic in class, words and situations.
He's followed by one of those sheep individuals who are not popular or liked themselves,
but follow the one who is supposedly the "popular" ones.
These individuals are also called the "leech" "follower" "brown noser" "sheep" "the bitch" and etcetera.
he's become so confident with his association that he no longer thinks as an individual and uses the "I" but the "We"
Very sad, I pity him greatly.

Either way, I dealt with the situation fairly well, with him having to contain himself and being silent.
And me not having to get into trouble with my superiors by crushing his self-esteem and making him cry...despite wanting to do it *oh so much*
I think if he thinks i'm an idiot, he shouldn't be telling me this,
but to my superior.
Honestly, i'm clearly not the decision maker.
If i was, the little shit would be tortured or no longer be around (as in, no longer study in my school...not because he would be killed...despite a little piece of me hoping for it).
So if really, if my intellect is not up to par with my students, they should definitely bring it up to my superiors.
Of course my superiors would laugh at their absurd claims,
but still:
Why complain or state something to a person who can't do anything with the information?!
Smart indeed.

alas! only the idiot claims to be smarter than everyone else.
i'm not saying i'm NOT stupid or an idiot.
I agree that i am.
The thing that i disagree is that he was less of an idiot than I.
That's what i'm saying.
He also should've taken note that i didn't disagree w/ him about his claims that i was crazy.
Cuz only a crazy person would work in such conditions and deal with little shits with a smile on their face.

*ah* isn't life grand!

time to watch my shows about murder.

*moment*

I just had a:
Holy crap! I'm in Korea
moment.

it's a bittersweet thang..but mostly sweet

I think i have somehow drowned out the Korean language being spoken and written around me...
it's messed up, I know.
At least I no longer wake up from bed and realize that I'm not in Canada in my own bed anymore..
it was a cruel cruel awakening,
waking up to a place you weren't expecting to wake up to.

Speaking of which: The 23rd that just recently passed was my 9 monthiversary
time does fly.

"idiots say 'what?'" "what?" "exactly"

yeah, that's what happens when you deal with pre pubescent, annoying teens

In a good 10 or so hours, I'll be taking a drug test
yup, a drug test.
I shouldn't have anything to worry about
although sadly, my prescription drugs might cause a false positive...huzzah...
*boo* to the lax health confidentiality clauses in Korea.
I'm not a big fan of revealing my entire medical history/ prescription drug history to my employers or to any person, to be honest with you.

anyways, i'll be prodded, x-rayed and gawd knows what....
and then after, i'll go straight to work *le sigh*

speaking of work: i have a fuller schedule and less breaks :*(
however, what has kept me up lately is that I found out one of my students is glad he has me as a teacher b/c he thinks i'm funny...
and an ex-student who is now being taught by Lauren absolutely loves me, despite not having taught her for over 5 months.
She even wrote in her journal that she really wants me back
:*) awww.... she's so sweet.
They made my day, despite having a shite-y day.

I also found out one reason my boss really likes me is that I come from University of Toronto...
well...surely b/c it wasn't b/c of my teaching skills... *le sigh*

Side note: i'm really contemplating leaving if Lauren doesn't stay.
She's my travelling buddy and it'd suck if she's not around.
So yeah...if she leaves, i'm contemplating going to teach at Indonesia and she would join me.
Although, the money won't be as good...but, it'd still be fun,
which is what i'm mostly about.
I don't know.
I've been juggling a lot of 'ifs' and 'buts' lately that my head just numbs itself.

In addition, a few things have been revealed to me as of late
and i'm glad it has.
It gives me a better picture as to what is occurring around me...and without me.
I'm glad i'm seen as someone's very good and close friend
and i'm glad they trust me.
It makes me feel like despite all the wrong things i've done,
i've at least done SOMETHING correctly..
and at least the thing that i've done correctly is considered really important to me.

and with that, i bid adieu.
pictures shall eventually pop up.

Right now, I'm at school.

Extremely peeved...PISSED, to be exact...SEETHING...

I was already in a pretty grumpy mood before getting into the school because I hardly had any sleep due to a puking pooch who got into my teacher's day gifts and destroyed and ate virtually everything.

And then while walking to school, I realize that I forgot to bring Geek's number to call him...

And THEN i get scolded for making a hard to control class do lines,

despite having completed the lesson AND controlled the class.

 

Here's a tip on how to deal with me when i'm pissed or extremely upset:

Don't talk to me.

I don't want to share what i'm thinking at the moment.

When i'm damn ready, i'll bring it up.

If you want to talk to me, don't talk to me about the possible subject that's upsetting me,

talk to me about another topic. I would be fine.

If you talk to me about the subject, i'll get even more upset....

 

*Argh*

Now my supervisor's cowering away. Because she knows i'm pissed..

and she's sending her minions to approach me.

wonderful.

 

I know I wasn't the best coordinator or executive director at SEC...

but i'm pretty certain that i'm considerably better than my current supervisor.

 

Keywords: constructive criticism...and stop playing the blame game

.....

....you bastard!
THIS is what i get when i save my password in my comp..
and fall asleep in front of the laptop *Sigh*

nothing much to report...
I received a package from my parents, and yet again,
most of the things were for sophie...
they care for her more than for me..and they haven't met her yet
*le sigh*

funny story:
While walking around Downtown Uijeongbu to kill time so that we (Lauren and I) could pick up Sophie for the doctor,
Lauren had to really go to the washroom..
so we decided to go to the closest cafe..buy a drink and then use the washroom.
There was a place saying "cafe" so we went...
it was oddly in the basement.. (1st sign something was wrong)
It was dark and..a familiar, yet mysterious stench emanated through the air (2nd and 3rd thing wrong)
We sat down at a table and looked at the drinks that had no prices...
There were a bunch of shady looking women staring at us..
and the tea and coffee that we ordered were the instant stuff....

What we found out after (and to my suspicions) was that we entered one of the infamous prostitution cafes... aka "da bang" (da=[i forgot] bang=room)
that's right...a prostitution cafe
awkward? indeed!

no wonder they were looking at us weirdly...
and when we came out, a bunch of men hanging outside were flustered.
but yes, *whoops* an honest mistake, i swear.

*blargh* i'm so tired i'm going to go to bed.

HACKED!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Re:

To answer your question:
my daily routine is dependent on well...what occurs in the morning or the night before.
If i did not sleep at 3 or 4am or awaken to the sound of my phone ringing with the other end informing me to go online and webcam so that a) they can show me something or b)that i'm not cheating on them;
I wake up at around 10:30am and go straight to the gym
Work out for an hour,
come back, drink a strawberry, banana and ginseng smoothie;
walk the dog,
feed the dog,
then go straight to school by 1pm.
I do some paperwork until 1:30pm and then I eat lunch.
2pm, class
4:30pm, i have a break and eat a snack while doing paperwork or get out of the school for some fresh air.
9:20pm, school ends, get back home
have dinner (on Wednesdays, I go out to eat with Lauren)
and then right after, if I am not totally exhausted from the day or if dinner hasn't gone past 10:45pm, I go to the gym for an hour of working out.
When I get back home, I spend some TLC with my special individual and/or socialize with Shella/Lauren/Danielle,
watch TV for a little while, do some house chores;
take a shower,
read and then go to sleep...around...2am.
Then I do it aalllll over again.

Happy now?

Presently, i'm contemplating looking around for some cool places to go around Korea.
Another long weekend is coming in a few weeks and Sarah (a cool Korean teacher), Lauren, and I are planning to go on a one day trip just to enjoy the scenery...go to a cafe..go to the beach and to talk.
Sarah's really cool and random.
During one of the meetings, there was a disagreement between my supervisor and I regarding why I should be forced to eat later and Sarah..in an attempt to support me said:
"Well, she's Chinese Canadian. Food is very important to them"
I just had to stop with my mouth open...I was both offended and amused.
But I LOVE that explanation now.
Sarah was totally embarrassed and explained that one of her Chinese friends informed her about the importance of food to the Chinese and she informed her friend about what she said..and he told her how stupid her comment was.
But it amuses me now and I try to use that excuse as much as possible,
not to embarrass her, mind you, but b/c i absolutely LOVE it now.
her randomness and eccentricities are great and I really enjoy her company.

Speaking of Korean teachers, one awesome Korean teacher, who's a preschool teacher really reminds me of one of my favorite highschool friends: Brenda Ham.
They look, act and talk almost exactly the same.
They just make me smile.
So everytime I talk or look at her, I always see Brenda, and it brings a smile to my face.
I spoke to Brenda a few weeks ago online.
We haven't spoken to one another for a few years,
it was pretty cool learning about what she's been up to.
She surprised me though with a comment she made regarding me...
that despite not having seen or spoken to her for a lengthy amount of time,
she thought of me as such after learning I've been travelling and plan on travelling for the next few years:

brenda says:
yeah, a person like you with so much passion, u need to explore the world

this comment resonated in my head for the following days.
It surprised me because I couldn't believe she saw that and thought of me like that...
It made me happy.


Alright, i'm ending this on a good note.
Adieu and goodnight...or to many: good morning

my bad

i apologize for the lack of updates.
I know i have been terrible posting.
I can't help it.
I just love not having to be tied to the computer.
It's absolutely....freeing (notice my diminishing vocabulary? *sigh*)
I've been tied to the computer and my cellphone for so long that it's been absolutely amazing to no longer have to be obligated to be around it.
Of course it has been terrible for communication with friends and family
as it is limited to whenever i do feel necessary to go online..but...
hey! i'm happy and still alive!

I've done numerous things including rafting...getting lauren to shave her unshaven legs at the cost of me painting my toenails....going out of seoul for a vacation...causing havoc with my boss....taking small steps to officiate my second year here... and so on and so forth.
but of course, like the bastard that i am, I won't be going into specifics about it.
Actually, what's been getting to me lately is this:
I've realized how much i've missed back in the Canadas..and it makes me wonder about a lot of things..and the constant question has been
"what happened?!" "why?!" and "what were you thinking?!"
but of course, they won't be answered.

i'll try to update more.
i'll try to write more...but i'm just having way too much fun experiencing instead of writing about said experience.


by the way: i'm addicted to the tv show "Pushing Daisies" it's morbidly funny.
i highly recommend it.

P.S. a crapload of pictures can be found here.
I'm too lazy to edit and copy and paste every link:
password: immaho

pictures galore!

got my fingers burned

these past few days were a tad trying..
although last night, my Uncle Lucas came over to Korea for a 2 day tour.
I met up with him after work.
It was great...it was finally nice to talk to and spend some time with someone who came from..well..home.
Although he thought i just finished my first year of university and was just taking a break....
man, if i was still in my first year of uni, i'd kill myself.

I heard this song on my mp3 player while walking the sophster.
the Hoju intro'd me to this singer and i'm really loving this song

a double take

During the one hour lunch break at my workplace.
A preschooler that I teach science to once a week (yes, yes, lets overlook the fallacy of me teaching, out of all the subjects to teach: science, to anyone or even to anything) saw me walking through the hallway.
She yells "Alicia Teacher!!!"
runs to me with open arms
I wave and say 'hello...' (trying to avoid saying her name since I could not remember her name)
She hugs me and doesn't let go.
She stays there for 5 minutes grabbing on to me..as I pat her back, trying to think about ways to be released out of her kiddie grasps..and how awkward this was.
Shella comes by and says "awww...whose maternal instincts are kicking in?!"
The girl lets go as I redirect her attention to another teacher/victim she could grab onto..
and then I immediately check my pocket where my wallet is located to see if it was still there.

Maternal instincts indeed.

The other night:
Shella "OH MY GOSH! YOU HAVE A G-STRING!!"
me "WHAT?!"
*shella picks up "g-string"*
me ".........
dude, that's my sports bra"
shella "....."
me "my arse is not that big"
shella "well...i gotta go now..."


Last week:
In my younger elementary class in which I have vehemently and repeatedly indicated to them that I am not Korean but Chinese-Canadian;
one of the girls came up to me at the end of class and said
"Teacher, I know you're not Korean because you're beautiful"
I didn't know what to say...b/c I didn't know which one to address first:
1) the error of me being beautiful or
2) The fact that she believes Koreans are not beautiful
so I just smiled to her and thanked her for her innocent, yet all too revealing, compliment.

Yesterday, I had 2 male younger kids grab my right boob (yes, JUST the right)
one grabbed it and yelled "MILK!"
and the other, grabbed it and I immediately grabbed his wrist and almost twisted it off until i realized that he was just a child...
and there was CCTV...

Also, today, while correcting one of my elementary kid's homework,
her assignment was to write a letter to one of her friends and to tell him/her how much she appreciated them.
She wrote one to me and wrote down how happy i made her
and that she loved me.
I was really touched.
I'm glad I make her happy...b/c *Gawd* knows i have so many miserable children who make me miserable and in return, I make them even more miserable.
*ah* such a vicious cycle.



I can't wait until this weekend.
I'll be going to a traditional show-buffet with a few co-workers.
It's called "Korea House",
i'll also hopefully fill my gullet with a big juicy burger, thanks to Melissa who will be giving me access into her army base...
and then sunday, i'll be attending the cherry blossom festival.
GLOOORIOUS!!
and then next May..i'll be in a new semester (*YES* no more 2 horrendous classes)
and there will be two long weekends back to back.
One long weekend will be spent w/ co-workers at either a spa or somewhere else out of seoul...paid by by our boss (accommodations and so forth).
^_^ V *yeeeeeee*

things are looking good.

By the way: Where the F**K are my letters?!?!?!?

Better in Time

Would I get better in time?
well....depends how i spend that time.
It's all about quality, not quantity.


An awesome thing happened,
despite being fuming with anger this past sunday, thanks to a certain brat messing with my stuff,
My good ol' pals, L&D, purchased me my first ever Birkenstock s!!!
I couldn't go with them to Uijeongbu because I had to clean up the mess,
so while they went, they remembered that I mentioned i really wanted the Birkenstocks I saw the other week b/c I've never had them and I needed some casual flip flops/sandals.
So...what did they do?! They bought it for me!
They're so awesome and comfy!!
that really made my day.

I've noticed that lately, a few of my younger students have been quite attached to me...
they've been hugging onto me and i've been having difficulty prying them off of me,
so i've been having to drag them around as I teach.
Or, when we have a little bit of free time, they do their word searches or coloring pages,
And while I'm helping one student, one or two either sits on my lap, hugs me, or rests their head on my head.
I'm glad that they're comfortable with me, but I fear the attachment...
and what my supervisors might say if they saw me like that.
I'm also happy that one of my worst students who rarely paid attention or did his homework started to do his homework and participate.
Apparently, he enjoys my class and enthusiastically does my homework and more than what was assigned.
I'm slightly touched by that, his mother called and thanked me for my hard work and patience with him..
The other day, he told me to go close up to him so he could whisper something.
He said he had something for me,
and I was worried it was some insect, frog or whatever disgusting thing that children just love to collect...i've heard stories about these things from the other teachers...
But in the end, he gave me an entire pack of these delicious yogurt flavoured caramels..or candy-gummyish things that I am now currently hooked on.
That made me happy,
not because, like many children, he has discovered my kryptonite is food...but that he willingly gave me a gift without it being a special occasion..and knowing that what he gave me was essentially like gold to him.
I gave him a big hug,
he shied away a bit, but he definitely loved my innocent affection.
It's odd, but I'm hitting it off better with the younger children than with the older ones, although it takes out more energy out of me to deal with the young'uns.
I've been informed by Lauren that when I speak to the younger children, I sound like i'm talking to Soph...
Although, really, it's not to demean them, but I need a friendlier voice to the younger ones, so they know once I drop my voice (aka my usual voice), I mean business.
And okay, I'm faking enthusiasm...
as many know, i'm not the most enthusiastic person in the world,
it's just not my thang.

Alright, gonna end this entry,
I gotta wake up a tad early to go to the gym, walk soph, and do whatever chore that must be done before I go to work.
I apologize for the lack of updates, but I have been busy..and I've been tired after work..and when i'm not, i'd go to the gym.
My mission is to regain my abs, build up my obliques, and to strengthen my extremely weak lower back.
I've been so unhealthy for the past few years that it's absolutely ridiculous,
and since I have the finances now, I'm training myself to pick up some good habits i.e. getting off of my arse and feeling good.

At the moment? I'm feeling goooooooooood.

Adios.

The countdown begins!!

A more in depth look of our conversation:

Disregarding the definition of what 'love' is:
CAN a person love two people, knowing that the split love are hurting deeply because of the knowledge of the love for the other?
If the answer is 'yes', does one really love another when their love is hurting the beloved more than not having the love at all?
Or, is this all a 'no' and that the whole 'monogamy' argument is valid..
and that one should or is only in love with one person, excluding every other possibility (disregarding all the possibilities that may arise...just to avoid any arguments regarding that part)

hmm....

511

nekkid!!

Heyos everyone!
really have nothing much to report.
this past weekend, I spent some time w/ a few co-workers and my boss at a traditional jimjilbang.
I was pretty psyched for it and scared Danielle L. with my screams of
"LET'S HAVE SOME NEKKID FUN!!!"
in the staff room haha
or my comments of : "c'maaan! let's go and have some non sexual nekkid fun"
in the end, it was an entirely new experience minus the nudity of everyone.
We all just went into the uniforms and went into these awesome sweat log huts.
There was one room w/ a salt rock filled floor and we lied on it for awhile.
I think i have a salt rock bruise on my left rib.

It was really relaxing.
Also, we caught a few flicks this past week.
One was 10 000 B.C. ...it wasn't too bad, although the ending..and the non-ending of one particular character's life kinda ruined it for me;
In addition, "the other bolweyn sister" starring eric bana, natalie portman, and scarlette johannson (yeah, i spelled her name wrong, i don't care).
It wasn't too bad...but not really something that good...despite my bias towards historically based flicks.

As for work, it's not too shabby.
Today, i had fun w/ my supervisor by making her squirm when she told me I had another new student in my class and that I would have to photocopy part of a book...again.
This was a minute before class started,
So i gave her my "Whuh?!" o_O look and didn't say anything.
She just started squirming and saying "what?...what?!?! what?!?!" in a whiny tone.
And then after 2 minutes, I told her I was just joking and that it was okay,
lol she started whining more and saying that she hated me in a joking manner.
haha

Joey and my supervisor has also named me something like.."dogdochun" or something of that like,
to me, it sounds like they're just calling me a dog..or "doggy"
but apparently, it means genius or smart person...
i'm not too fond of it mostly b/c it still sounds like "dog".
Every time they call me that, i just feel like running to them, panting like a dog.
But they call me this b/c i've been their technical support with their computer issues and random things that I just happen to know... due to the random knowledge i've accumulated from gawd knows what.

As for my baby, she got her period...she's becoming a woman :*)
so as any Asian mother would do..i have imprisoned her in my place for fear of her getting pregnant until i neuter her.
I refuse my daughter to be one of those illegitimate child bearing girls.
the shame she would bring to our asian family..SHAAAME!!
lol



Cont. of the Closer-esque moment:
I knew once I woke up in the middle of the night...
I turned towards the person sleeping next to me.
I caressed her face with my fingers and covered her exposed shoulder with the comforter that we shared and unconsciously wrestled for,
and the feeling overcame me.
I spoke the words as it simultaneously came to my mind, soul, and entire body:
"I don't love you"
and that was when everything tied together.
I turned around and faced the wall, closed my eyes,
and fell asleep.
That was one of the best sleep i've ever had.

Runaway Train

and I'm the conductor....crap?

Right now, i'm just chugging along, not really having much downtime to actually write a post.
At the moment, i feel like i'm going on this predetermined path that I have no idea of..but i'm just here for the ride, whether i like it or not.
I'm using this analogy simply because the runaway train analogy popped in my head a few minutes ago while taking a shower.
It's an analogy that pops up quite often as i just mull around in my memory.
I believe it came up while studying Descartes' First Meditations.
Oddly enough, I remember that it was my first time doing summer courses at UT..
it was a pretty small class...3 hours... and as usual, a few intimidating classmates.
We had a very important French philosopher watching over our lesson that day, as he was our lecturer's supervisor for his/her final stamp for her phD.
I know i wanted time to look over a few things, but of course in the education system, you really don't have time.
So now i'm digesting it and applying it.

Back to the present:
I feel like I have a destination i'm getting closer to.
The anxiety deep inside of my mind and heart is telling me so..
I'm sure i could have gotten significantly closer to it by now..
but instead, i vied for the scenic route (I always preferred the scenic route)
at the expense of a few years...and at no expense of my mental, emotional, physical and *gawd* knows what...which would have been the cost if i had gotten to the most direct route.
As for my destination, I have no idea but hey! I might as well enjoy the ride.

I know a handful of you want me back home,
but you know i can't, not yet.
I do have very good reasons as to why returning prematurely, from my perspective, would not be conducive towards my entire whole as a person.
Despite being scoffed at by my Jungian professor when I answered a personal question of hers that I was planning to "find myself",
It's not that i'm "finding" as if i've never seen myself..
but more of having lost myself in what i had to do, such as finishing up my studies and well...surviving..
I'm just trying to get myself back together, after many individuals' attempts to mold me into something that they seemed fit..
and to learn and get to know myself better.
It's extremely difficult to do so in an atmosphere in which there is a very strong idea of what one believes or thinks I am.
If you treat a person like they're an idiot...after awhile, they'll begin to believe it and act accordingly, despite previously obviously not being anywhere near the treatment imposed on that person.

I'll just end this post now,
the pup's telling me i'm neglecting her..
so i'll just share this song that i've been jamming to and have had on constant loop for the past few days.
Also, i'm pretty stoked that I will be attending Ne-yo and Chris Brown's concert this coming April 6th with a Kickass Korean, Jiny and my other co-workers.
I'm extremely stoked.

bow shicka bow bow (?)

Here's a little somethin' somethin' that pops up in my head
while i'm just walkin' about








haha, the latter one..by vgcats especially messes me up.
And, it's by a fellow Canuck :)

But I would say..PBF definitely beats VG cats for the humour.

_______________________________

Lately, i've been thinking about an issue that has been constantly bugging me.
When i play the concept in my head,
I don't mind it...
but as I further put myself in such a situation...
I get a panic attack.
Seriously, I panic and want to run.
However, when i'm actually in the situation,
I act accordingly..but *Gawd* the feeling of being chained down is dominant.
Hence, I shall continue on what I've been doing.

I'm sorry, but I have way too many things to do
I really don't have the time or the energy to deal with the shit that would be brought upon me.

FYI

my ass is burning from the heated floors...
that is all

Good, life is

Right now, I have my beautiful, floppy puppy on my lap...
drinking a strawberry-banana smoothie I just made from my 16 dollar smoothie machine...
Just returned from the gym...
still stuffed from the free dinner I got from my bosses, which included various kimbaps, smoked meats, and kimchi...

life.
is.
good.

I have a decent amount of money in my wallet and bank account,
I have my own place,
I have some good friends, who are also my neighbours around me.
And although work has been hectic and disorganized..and...plenty,
it's tolerable
and my bosses and co-workers are cool with me.

Currently, I know many of my friends are suffering from papers and exam cram time...
and I absolutely do not miss it..at ALL.
I love this change of pace,
not being broke or starving...
and being stuck.

Lately, i've been frequenting a Jimjilbang near my place.
It's a great way to relax.
For 6 bucks, I have unlimited hours and access to it's spas, saunas and so forth.
I'm planning on going friday night and staying overnight.
It's a great way to get to know ppl and to just chill.

In addition, I've been attending a Korean class with Lauren and Shella.
I went in on the 2nd day and they were going pretty fast,
but I was on the ball, to my surprise,
considering I really suck on picking up languages...
seriously....10 years trying to learn Cantonese and still nuthin'
Although, as my defense: Cantonese is hard! it's essentially learning 2 languages in one!
Speaking and Writing are almost entirely different...
and there's no alphabet!!
it's all memorization!!
C'MAAAAN!!

Of course, I'll be keeping my growing knowledge of Korean on the down-low w/ my parents...
as they would kick my arse if they ever found out that I understood/spoke more Korean than Cantonese..
which would be sad and "shameful" indeed.

And okay, fine, there's no excuse for my terrible terrible french.
I just suck.

I apologize for the lack of updates, but...I really don't want to be dependent on the web.
Also, I know i'm probably the worst correspondent ever,
I don't know why,
I used to be good and consistent..
but..I think after so long...I've drifted away from really replying
Perhaps after SEC, in which I was tied to my e-mail and so forth.
I just need a break, hence being here.

Alright, I"m gonna spend some quality time w/ the pup..
I'll try to update a tad more often.

half year mark

this past thursday was my half year mark being here.
who knew...who knew...
this week has been quite trying.
I was unfortunately suffering from a terrible cold and some other type of illness that caused all of my joints stiff and aching....muscle weakness...and my frontal lobes all numb (brain-wise, that is).

monday was the worst day, i was mostly delirious and unable to really walk,
I really needed to go back home but one of my co-workers was already sick
and the head teacher was covering for her.
My new supervisor is..well...new, so she had no idea how and what to teach my classes and was freaking out.
So i sucked it up and went through with the classes.
And i do not remember anything that i taught and my daily report notes were pure scribbles.

The next day, i was a little bit better, but still not good enough.
I blacked out a few times during mid sentence in my classes.
So for the most of the week, i've been trudging around school...
but friday i felt back to normal
and now, i'm much better.

On another note, today is fatman's bday celebration.
I can't believe i'm missing it.
For the past few years, i've been there preparing and planning his parties...
and now i'm not.
i've somewhat begun to reminisce about the people and life i've left behind back in toronto.
It feels like i'm back in highschool all over again
and as many people who knew me back then and after:
I hated highschool.
well, not all of highschool but the majority of it.
I worked so hard to avoid as much as any life similar to highschool as possible..
and what happens?! i fly across an ocean and i land right into it.
wonderful. just wonderful.

Do you know what gets me down?
not work, not money.....it's people.
When ppl try to pull you down with them to their crap attitude.
Honestly, a girl just wants to get by with a pretty decent attitude and perspective... and here people are trying to muck it up.
Of course i'm not saying i'm willfully blinding myself from issues and problems,
but seriously, there are so many ways and approaches to do things.
Such as an aptly titled short story: 100 ways to skin a cat
And i'm just picking one where the killer doesn't have to do much work.... and the cat is as high as a kite...before quickly passing away.
And 'no', i would not use hemlock.

blah, i'm tired and i'm utterly tired from passing the entire CoD4 on my own.

So last words:
I have been extremely accommodating towards many things.
I've changed and shared many things with friends, strangers, and lower.....
but there are certain things that I refuse to budge on
and THIS is one of them.
I own this.
I am the one in full control,
and it shall stay that way.

this made my day

we have to correct journal entries every week
Usually, the students don't know who's correcting which journal.
And i've intentionally made my identity as unknown as possible while correcting.
Today, I was correcting one of my Pre-Middle school's students' journal and look:


It basically reads (after editing):
My Heroes
I would like to introduce to you my heroes.
My heroes are Daniel Radcliffe Jae jung Kim, Geng Young Hy and Alicia teacher.
Daniel Radcliffe is my actor hero.
He has a tall body, high nose and has beautiful coloured eyes
Jae Jung Kim (so amazing)has the nickname = "Hero Jae Jung"and I tink he is lie (?) Heros.
Geng Yong Hu is my crazy hero.
He said his IQ is 430! and made pan moom jum (I don't know spelling!)
Alicia teacher is my Joking (or Kidding) Hero.
She calls me - "Koala Kate"

awww...i'm finally feelin' appreciated.

so-sigh-it-tee

It was just last night did remnants of my desire to further study return to me.
It's been a long time. I still feel extremely jaded by my education system, but my desire is stronger.
However, I'm still digesting the concepts i've learned at an amazingly fast pace.
I feel a mental indigestion.
And now, my increasingly diminishing vocabulary is leaving me unable to express said concepts.
Last night, I was able to talk about things that I really wanted to talk about.
Things that were silenced from numerous relationships.
Things, that in a way, people tried to render inappropriate or unfathomable.
I was finally able to talk and play with the concepts of the noumena, Phenomena, Buddhist thoughts, Marxism and so forth, to a willful ear.
It was a relief.
A desire long unfulfilled.
And bittersweet, for it shouldn't have been silenced that long.
Sad, because it should have never made me feel ashamed for thinking, inquiring, and speaking.
I felt angry.
Angry for allowing that to happen.
I shouldn't have felt ashamed, I shouldn't have felt like I was looking or sounding too pretentious, because I wasn't.
Prentention means to act like something one is not.
And my inquiries and thoughts were and are genuine.
It was never to sound smart, not at all. I just..want to know.
That's what keeps me up at nights.
So why...why did I let it happen? To allow others to feel comfortable, rendering myself not?
That's the question..isn't

    Synthesis
    /         \
Thesis----Antithesis

Say Whuh?!

What i'll be putting on my candygram:

"if i can't hit your g-spot, i might as well hit your sweet spot"
or
"If i can't hit your g-spot, I might as well hit ONE of your sweet spots"

and

"roses are red
my testicles are blue
stop being a bitch
cuz i really like you"


and now *drum roll please!*
a Korean attempting to pick me up via txt msging and his crappy phone translator:

"take the liberty of rudeness letter"

me: "who's this?!"

"I'm a korean
Do you have a honey?"

me: ......errr?
*gets a korean co-worker to help me*


*ah* the romance! just *swept* me off my feet!

of course, before all of that, when i was getting my phone activated,
he was already trying to hit on me by typing something on his phone and showing it to me

screen: beautiful, pretty, nice
*guy points to me..to him and then to me*
me: uhh....(thumbs up) thank you?

*guy types something in and shows screen*

screen: single, uncoupled, alone

me: uhh....no...anio (Korean for 'no')

*guy types something in and shows screen*

screen: sad, unhappy, down trodden
*points to self*

me: uhh....o...k.....
*walks away quickly*

the ego has landed? freud? jung? anyone?

yeah...thinking now...observing...
it was an ego thing.
it was the potential and realization of failure...
and obligation.
damn the stubborness
damn the ego
and yet, the two keep me going..
higher and higher

*ah* to be Jung again

At the moment i'm extremely peeved.
I received two complaints regarding 1. how i used a Korean phrase in the classroom which kind of meant "do you want to die?" (mainly used to say: stop doing that, i don't like it)
Despite having caught my kids saying that statement while in the midst of teaching the class about what 'idioms' were.
So i told the kiddies i knew what that meant and to not to use it...however since I was teaching about idioms, i said that to a foreigner, that sounded like an actual threat, instead of what it's really meant as "stop that"
but they knew it wasn't...and that was what an 'idiom' meant...
a phrase that means something but if taken literally, means entirely different...or incomprehensible.
But of course, i had kids, after leaving my class saying how cool i was for knowing that korean phrase...saying this infront of my boss...and then i get in trouble.
Basically i was spoken to, saying i should never use such a phrase in my class...
that teachers don't use that in their classrooms.
I was extremely peeved b/c they didn't know in what context that phrase was used.
They just automatically assumed i splurtted it out.
Of course, this complaint came after I was taken out of the middle of class by my supervisor informing me that my boss didn't like me playing scrabble with my class after their lesson was done...
b/c the boss didn't like it
and then later informed that a parent complained saying how their kid said that what they did in class all day was play scrabble.
peeved? just a tad.
but also, dammit, the things i have to teach is so little and i have to extend it into 2 lessons (nearly impossible)
My supervisor informed me that i should give more questions, debate, or make worksheets...
and in my head i'm thinking: "damnit, i don't even have enough time to do my daily paperwork, how the hell am i going to have enough time to make worksheets?!"
and as for debating...yeah...like that's gonna work...
i'm teaching kids that don't give a crap...
wonderful.
So now i gotta figure out what to do.
I'm thinking about teaching them how to write an essay...
that's right, make them kill the little fucker who complained to their mother.
I'm gonna make'em suffer...b/c i have to suffer lol.
Well, there's nothing else I can do,
i can't play games with them,
and scrabble was the most appropriate game, instead of pictionary and hangman
b/c it dealt with spelling and it was challenging...
so now I gotta add some other lesson to their usual one b/c there is no way I can stretch a very sparse lesson into 2 forty minute classes...
not with these kids, who are the top kids in the school.
So more writing it is...more stress and work for the kids and no games.

Blargh, alright, complaining is over.
I'm very happy for my brother.
Today, he informed me he passed his engineer credentials
very proud.

Also, today, Shella and I checked out the 2 local gyms near our place.
They both had the machines I used...so i'm tempted..
the closest gym to us..for 3 months, 120 bucks....
i dunno...i'm thinking about it.

This past weekend, i hanged with Lauren and went to a public bathroom,
also, went for a facial..it was gooood.
Felt mucho refreshed and relaxed..and I needed it.
This month and upcoming months have and will be BRUTAL.

I'm also somewhat being phone stalked by a korean boy trying to pick me up,
despite getting another korean to msg him informing him that I am taken/engaged.
*huzzah* another pseudo-engagement for moi!

*sigh* work has been rough and tomorrow will be my supervisor's last day (she's extremely pregnant)
I've somewhat met...or more of: observed, the new supervisor....i'm scared.
She doesn't seem too talkative (including speaking much of English),
and probably won't like my jokes..unlike my present supervisor who laughs and jokes around with me.
But, thank gawd Joey will be the head teacher...so at least i'll have someone on my side.

Alright, enough updating for now.
Really rough day and just want to spend some time with my special girl....and L

"I can't see anyone not liking you, seriously" - Shella
"I hope my daughter will be as smart as you....but not as sarcastic"- Fiona

[kid points to picture of the ugly duckling]: "you, teacher!"
"Why, YES, i AM a beautiful swan, thank you"
"Yes you are" says Mary.

"How can a Korean speak such English?!" - Amy, new supervisor not knowing that I am not Korean.

strangely aroused

still up right now trying to finish writing up tests...
still have..3 more to go :*(
I'll be finishing it up this weekend..cuz there's no way i'm meeting the due date..
which was about.....3 hours ago haha.

many strange events have occurred these past few days
including my very pregnant supervisor saying that she hopes she gets a daughter as smart as me although not as sarcastic...
the guy who set up my new cellphone plan trying to pick me up
and text messaging me poorly translated pick up lines...
office drama and so forth that caused a very poisonous atmosphere that included a 6 year old asking a preschool teacher what "bullshit" meant....
although on a good note: i get more money (but sadly, that's the only good note)

One of my favourite and cutest student is leaving for China for four years tomorrow
and i'm extremely saddened.
She gave me a going away present which included very expensive foot and hand creams.
I was so shocked, that i actually offered and gave her a big hug
and Joey and I will be making a photo album for her by this evening...
*sigh* why do all the good ones leave...and all the crap ones stay?!
lol


Alright, so tired...but at least it's friday.
Hopefully i'll have time to post up everything and do a decent post.

I'm currently trying to make a comic-instruction leaflet on how to deal with an elephant in the room.
yup...
nites everyone,
i gotta shove L over so i can squeeze into my bed...
i really wish i had a bigger bed...like my good ol' queen sized one back in toronto.

By the way: the needy bitch opening has been taken, please apply for another position.
thank you.

What UT has taught me:

To just give up and helplessly take it in the rear

My school currently has a new elementary teacher, one who has replaced Adam ( :*( )
Her name's Shella and she's from Australia.
Lauren and I have been playing tour guide for her for the past week...
Today, we took her to LotteMart (a large supermarket-department store)
During this trip, Shella noticed how many times ppl mistook me as Korean...
and I, having mastered the art of pretending I understood.
I've given up trying to clarify the misunderstanding...
and it just takes far too long and too much energy to continually explain to ppl that (and in this exact order):
1) I do not know Korean
2) I am Canadian
3) No, I am not Korean
4) Yes, I know i look Korean, but I'm not

I believe the count was about 8 ppl within that hour of shopping
that approached and spoke to me.
One in particular,
an old woman,
came up to me in the aisle and spoke to me in Korean...
this was an encounter in which i couldn't feign understanding
b/c she asked me a question...that will be..like for the most of me being here, will never know..
I had to say in my limited Korean that I did not know Korean
and that I am Canadian..
she said something to the likes of
"oh...hahaha..you look Korean, that is silly of you to not know..."
and walked away laughing
at the end of the aisle
(i forgot to add: she was using a cane)
She keeled over and started laughing WITH cane in hand
laughing at me..
probably thinking how retarded of a Canadian Korean I was.

But the fact that she keeled over
an old woman..
keeling over out of laughter from me..
hurt.
just a little.

But I suppose my day was done. My life's mission complete...
bringing happiness to someone...if not for a brief moment -_-""


Anyways, tonight, i made dinner for Lauren, Shella and I (I love entertaining)
After cleaning my entire apartment (thanks to Shella willingly taking Soph off of my hands for a little while),
and getting chlorine in my eyes (which burned for oh so long...well, at least i know it works)...
oh, and giving soph a shower with some nice smelling blueberry shampoo that I believe I will continue using on her.
The menu of the night was:
rice,
seaweed,
mussels (a pound purchased for $1.90 "what!??!") in a garlic, butter, and wine reduction,
bulgolgi,
and for dessert: chocolate fondue with strawberries and bananas.
After, we talked and watched the Nanny Diaries on my comp.

Not too shabby day.
Had a bunch accomplished...
although I failed to go to Uijeongbu to get a cell...
since I have decided to ditch my extremely broken cell phone and its annoying pay as you go plan (where I have to continually refill minutes every month or else it'd be cancelled...despite having a plenty on the damn thing)
and I shall be switching to another company that isn't as annoying...
boo...more money wasted.
but at least i'll be saving a bundle for not going to Malaysia/Thailand/Vietnam during the Lunar New Years (All airlines were booked full...or so high that i just couldn't justify paying for a trip that would be significantly cheaper had it not been one of Asia's biggest and most busiest holidays)...
so I suppose it's a good thing.
So I guess i'll be chilling at Seoul with my Xbox360, Soph and Shella during the Lunar New Years holiday coming up...
hopefully we'll get the chance to go and chill and a gimgilbang (a sauna place) during our holiday, cuz I want to check that out fo' sheezy.

I have lots of pictures to post up..
but alas, i've been quite busy these past few weeks...
and utterly exhausted from all the errands
but soon...soon...they shall be up!

brb

RE:

i suppose i was just tired of always being there..
when all i wanted was to be somewhere else but there.
does that make sense?

i was a reluctant participant of the whole thing.
I was merely filling in a position that needed filled...
or simply just doing it until a competent person came around.
But no one came
and i filled that void for such a long time that i became utterly miserable

So there, can't find me now.
can't depend on me anymore.