things that make you go "ha-ha"

"i'm like herpes, you'll never get rid of me"
- an mtv show

"a classy fart"
- 'replication' ; the lot

see-nile

it's not that i have a really bad memory.
yes, it's true i at times forget my name,
people, things, history, facts....
but it's not that i lack a decent memory
or that i find those forgotten pieces of information insignificant/unimportant.
It is definitely not that.

The thing is...i may not remember the details of events and individuals...
but i do remember something else.
Some people are great with names; some are great with minute detail.
I, on the other hand, have a great memory of how something felt.

that's right, my memory is based on emotions.
so, I may not remember the details of how someone pissed me off, betrayed me, or absolutely won my adoration...
but i do remember how i felt.
I remember every aching moment of how i felt during those moments.
And once those moments are experienced through my memory...
the details begin to follow...
and more feelings/emotions follow...
and so on and so forth.

It does seem weird...but it is believable.
think about the existence of IQ and EQ...
how some people are better at math, the other languages..and another, art.

Why must memory be any different from intelligence?
is it not from the same source?
our minds?
so if people's intelligence can be different,
why can't one's memory, or ability to recall memory, be different as well?

so there you have it, a short explanation of my supposed memory.

we are all the same and different at the same time
-a semantic contradiction...but then again, it's just semantics

so do understand...
i don't forget.
i remember.
I remember the feelings/emotions i felt when events occurred
and majority of the time, it wouldn't be consciously brought up.
So i could forgive...but i will never forget.
not even if i tried.

Medusa v.1

We all went to her for salvation, from the heartache and emotions
We went to her willingly, begging for assistance.
And she, like the emphathetic woman she was, agreed.

We were never her victims,
she was our saviour.
she turned us into stone
so that we may not have to feel the pain;
the utter torment we felt every second of the day from the tyranny of the ones we had once and for some, still, love.

She took away our burdens and turned us into stone
so that we once again stood tall and strong.
She made us immune to our wearies
and allowed us to face the world again.

But they would not have it.
Those individuals and gods;
they thrived on our pain;
enjoyed our tears and cheered on our burdens.
Their sadistic appetites called out for more,
and she, a hindrance to their joys

They sent a fool, a coward to be rid of her.
murdering her as she slept
because he lacked any galls

Her potion immediately left us;
our stone shield disappeared.
Our bodies, minds and soul, bombarded by the fears;
the pain overcame us and weighed us into a dark abyss.
We cursed the gods for what they did
for forcing us to have to feel the things we did not have to.
They watched with amusement, licking their grinning lips,
while we suffered and died from the wounds that were once not there.

Medusa was our saviour
she turned us into stone
we were eternally thankful
because we never had to feel alone.

doubled edged

something's been bothering me.
A statement made by a friend of mine.
It went along the lines of how people who went overseas to teach were simply losers
or rejects of their own country.
And i think to myself:
"wait a sec! i'm ONE of those!"
and from the people that i've been meeting, many have been great successes.
take for instance, a co-worker of mine from Australia.
She has a masters in nutrition.

Most importantly, I am NOT a loser!
whatever i've put my heart into, i've succeeded.
and somewhat popular
and i'm definitely not a reject of my own country.
I've merely done this to travel and to experience a different culture without putting a dent in my pocket
and i'm sure many others are doing the same.

No, I do not want to be a teacher,
but this was the best way for me to really go out and do something on my own,
make money while saving some for my future endeavours
and to travel.
so XP

NOT a loser.
I actually think i'm more of the winner over the other options i had.
Such as working in Canada...being stuck in my old situations;
or slaving away at grad school...being broke as hell.

I'm contemplating another year over here
or perhaps trying a different country...
i just want to travel and to find my home.
not that my country rejects me and hence, does not make me feel at home...
but b/c i just need to find out what makes home
for me.
and i'm starting to get a better idea of it...
and that's something that i could never have found out if i had stayed within the education system and back at toronto.

*twitch*

*argh* my left eye's lid has been twitching for the past 2 days.
it's friggin' annoying.
it looks like i'm nervous or...twitchy,
which i'm not.

on to another topic:
i'm loving korean mtv.
the music's pretty good...
and everyone's so pretty...
EVERYONE...including the boys
prettier than thou :*(
*pshaw* at least i'm more handsome!!
*sigh*...i'm taking anything that i can at the moment....

I've also noticed that on tv, men have a tendency to cross dress...
and my gaydar's constantly blipping while watching some of the korean shows and commercials...
and it's not due to the metrosexual and effeminate men...
*gawd* "see no gay, hear no gay, speak no gay" is definitely full in effective here.
so...yeah....

presently, i haven't had much time to think and reflect...
i've been too busy with establishing everything and work that i've only had so little minutes for some down time.

but...i have been torn about some certain topics...
and some thoughts and realizations have been quite painful to swallow and take...
but i suppose that's life and that shit happens
and it's going to continue to happen
so i might as well learn from them.
It just stinks. :P

Anyways, I don't know if anyone knows about this...
but i'm a WHORE when it comes to the olympics.
i'm already psyched about it.
last night and the night before, i was watching the discovery channel till 2am.
It was about some olympics related topic, like the buildings and how athletes trained.
*gawd* i can't wait until the olympics are on.
i'll be checking the stats as much as i can
and i'll be cheering on Canada and China on there respective events (although i'll be rooting for China more...b/c they have more of a chance during the summer olympics than Canada... i'm brutally realistic, not unpatriotic :P)

alrighty, i'm gonna take a rest. i had to teach and work 7 horus straight without a break today.
i hope everyone's doing well...
and if anybody has some cool songs to share, please do inform me.
i've been quite disconnected from the north american pop culture :*(

things that make me go "hmmm..."

"you are what you love and not by what loves you"
-adaptation

"what loves you defines you"
- another movie


so which is it?

this little piggy went to the market...

yesterday, a co-worker of mine, matthew, who's from b.c. canada, took me to itaewon to get me a t-money card.
the subway system's amazing and so clean.
I especially adore the subway vendors who sell random things on the subway.
It's weird, cuz usually the people screaming out on the ttc are usually the mentally disturbed individuals.
there was one particular vendor who was like an old lady.
she was selling a vegetable cutter that cut things such as cucumbers into really thin slices.
She would demonstrate by slicing up a cucumber.
the slices would be so thin that she would just stick it on her face.
I was tempted to purchase it, just b/c she looked so damn adorable with cucumber slices on her face.

On our arrival to Itaewon, i had found out i lost my transfer ticket, and i tried to sneak past the gates, but to no success as the gates closed on my crotch.
but the ticket guy was a bit understanding ad didn't make me pay for the entire trip again as I was new and was planning to buy a subway card (t money card).
damn, ttc should really adopt this system.
Matthew had to go to a travel agent to check out the pricing for any trip out of korea during the harvest holiday that's coming in a few weeks.
While there, i thought i might inquire about the cost of a ticket to HK during the x-mas holidays.
around 450 000 won, not bad! that's about....550 cdn!
round trip.
i'm contemplating...although i know i should save up.
but i can't help it, i want to take advantage of as much travelling as possible.

after the travel agent, matthew took me to a cool used bookstore.
i was mightily impressed by the selection. And! they sold neil gaiman books
and comics! *awesome*
another interesting thing was that the bookstore was located on hooker hill.
perhaps on my next trip, i might get up the courage to inquire about the pricing of said russian hookers...besides...a russian sex worker on the street brings back memories of home :*) lol

After, matthew took me to dongseungmun.
apparently, it's the world's biggest market.
for all you shoppers out there: picture toronto.
And in every nook and cranny of space, including the alleyways,
vendors, stores, and booths of people just selling anything and everything.
It was insane.
We spent over 3 hours walking around that area...
getting lost, but also just stumbling on interesting things.

eventually, we got back to the subway station and went back home.
I had to go shopping for a cooking pot and other utilities and food stuff i forgot to purchase in the morning.
Lauren (another white co-worker who's from the US) took me to the Lotte shopping market that's about a 20min walk away.

I'm still dreading taking a shower and going to the washroom at my place.
It's still really out of my comfort area...
but when you've been sweating so much, due to the humidity and heat...
and you *just* really have to do your business,
taking a shower and going to the bathroom just trumps comfort levels lol

alright, i shall end this entry and perhaps finish up my lunch...
and maybe see if i can purchase a cellphone and maybe go to the electronic market today.

(by the way, i'm 13 hours ahead...so the date on blogger isn't correct. but i'm too lazy to figure out the korean on here to change the time zone. It's a sunday early afternoon for me over here)

I gots SEEOOOUUULLL

apologies for the delayed entry.
Yes, I am currently in the South Koreas.
I landed at 2:30am, Korea time, having spent 14 hours on a plane and being mistaken as korean and the given bad looks when i give a blank stare, assess the situation and apologize for not understanding but I only know English (A foreshadowing of what is to become of me once i land, I assure you)
Janelle, Hannah and I spent a good hour watching the slow, mind-numbing baggage revolver. It took us an extremely long time to finally see our baggage.
F-ing baggage claim.

Anyways, after arriving at my place at 5am, I had to immediately settle down and be ready to be picked up by my supervisor at 12:30pm.
From then on, it's been quite busy since I was suppose to be at the school last week, so now the teacher that i'm replacing has left after my first day.
But my school has allowed we to observe and learn the rings of the trade for two days, before I take on the classes Friday.
Trial by fire? indeed.
But so far, the co-workers and employers that I have seem to be very accepting and cool.
Also, it seems I am the only native speaker who is of asian descent.
It's like my philosophy class all over again *le sigh*.

I apologize for the lack of pictures of my new digs;
but i lack any camera...except for my webcam, but i'm just too exhausted to really take a pic of my place.
It kinda sucks that my work day ends at 9:20pm, but cool that it starts at 1pm.

The weather currently is extremely hot. I've been cranking my a/c up everytime i'm at home.
Thank you to the person who invented the a/c.
And thank you employer for giving me a place that has an a/c.

It's a little sad.
The first time i wanted to take a shower at my place,
it took me a good 2 hours to figure out that there was no shower stall
and that my entire washroom was really the shower in itself.
Perhaps the mold on the door and floor should have indicated that...
but i was in deep denial.
But what's even more sad is that I still have yet to figure out how to open my washing machine.
I've spent over 5 hours just trying to figure out at the washer.
It taunts me everytime i look at it...and the thing is: it's right at the foot of my bed, so it's not like i can't look away and not be bothered that despite having a $30 000 degree, i cannot figure out how to friggin open a gawd damned washer!!
*Argh*

Anyways, i'm exhausted from my day and i'm still suffering from jet lag.
I've finally attained internet at my condo, so I'll be able to post more now.

If anyone wants to know, i'm 13 hours ahead of the majority of you.

hopefully i'll get into the flow of things sooner and settle everything soon

Because you can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter"

wonderful wonderful perry bible fellowship
and
vgcats




I've been busy these past few days packing and trying to tie up some loose strings...

almost done, but not quite


*dear gawd* i'm worried about my 18 hour flight....18 hours!!
what happens if i gotta do my...dirty business?!
i can't possibly do it on a plane!!
*sigh* anyways, i gotta go...still have to do errands until the very last minute i leave.
STRESS!!!!

devirginizing

welcome to my new blog.
I've changed locations for my online journal for a few reasons:
- my previous journal's site had begun to randomly delete my lovely posts

- i have a terrible memory and my journal is meant to remind me of events that i have written down. By randomly deleting my journal entries, it leads to the decay of my already vanishing memory of past events.

- it's a new beginning; hence the change of my usual "brainfart" titled journal into "suckling pig".

Why "Suckling Pig"?! why not? Aren't we all just young piglets who've suckled and nursed ourselves upon the teats of our Mother (Knowledge)? And while getting all plump and nurtured by this, aren't we all being succumbed to the fires of experience and life...roasting our poor selves into delicious pieces of succulent...... ..... ....

ok, that was a lame attempt to provide reasoning behind the title "Suckling Pig".
The title is absolutely random with a hint of jack assness....but i'll just let all wonder, while the victim(s) of my aptly titled journal be taunted.

Please do be patient, I am in the process of drastically changing my life and location that it may take some time to write or actually have access to the internets.

So let the Suckling of the Suckling Pig begin!